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March
Theories of Female Seduction
I have always been curious about the guides and
manuals geared towards men about how to pick up
women. Most of them always boast some exaggerated
claims such as 'never be turned down again', 'sleep
with a different woman every night', 'have women
beg for your affections' and 'it doesn't matter if
you are fat, bald, short or and broke'. Although I
don't seriously see myself ever going head over
heels for a short, fat bald man who leaches on me
for money because he doesn't have two pennies to
rub together, stranger things have happened. So I
decided to investigate some of these seduction
theories and groups for my own edification.
I recently purchased, The Game: Penetrating the
Secret Society of Pickup Artists, by Neil Strauss,
mostly because of its appearance. The book comes
disguised as a bible with its black leather
covering and gold trimmed pages and gold embossing.
Clever. It is also over 450 pages and comes
complete with a full glossary defining all of the
“pick-up” terms used within the book
which were created by the writer and his cohorts.
To be honest, I thought this little book would be
more of a gimmick filled with boring and needless
details, but it really wasn't. The book was
fascinating. It went through a lot of the steps
that these successful pick-up artists would use on
unsuspecting bombshells, successfully, and also
revealed the sordid lives of his pick-up lair
centered in Los Angeles addressing drugs, sex,
parties, alcohol, you name it. It was truly
fascinating and a little outrageous. When I read
the part concerning one of the artists successfully
picking up Paris Hilton I became a little concerned
that the author may have been pulling a James Frey
on me. Nevertheless, the story line was captivating
and entertaining.
I skimmed through most of the book, only really
interested in how these artists believe they could
casually walk into a bar or meat market, identify a
target, and have her come home with him within an
hour. Could a guy do that with me? I seriously
doubt it....but then again I am the kind of girl
that always has to be in control of the situation.
Still, I was impressed with the series of steps
given for an easy pick-up. I have my own critique
for each step. Her are just a few:
He Says: Smiling. Always smile when you enter a
room because it tells people that you are happy,
confident and a hell of a lot of fun to be
with.
I Say: I couldn't agree more. When a guy walks
into a room with no smile I either assume that he
thinks he is too good for everyone else, almost as
if he expects women to swoon to him just for
looking so darn good (what girl would want to be
with someone so high maintenance?) or that he has
some serious social problems which need to be
worked on, i.e. he is nervous, has low self esteem
and is boring.
He Says: The Peacock Theory: Women are attracted
to men who stand apart from everyone else. Where
something bright and colorful, a conversation
piece. Leave the boring old brown khakis at
home.
I Say: True. It may sound silly but this is very
true. You look like fun, you look like you are very
confident, you know what you want.... I wouldn't
suggest sporting a bright green mohawk, just try
not to look boring. The author gives some good tips
in this department.
He Says: After identifying the target, walk up
to the group and have an opener to allow you to
start talking to them. Ignore the target for a
while and talk to everyone else in the group while
making it seem to the target that you are the life
of the party.
I say: With practice, you should be able to walk
up to anyone and talk to them and to be able to
engage the entire group in conversation which will
make you look good. But if a guy is talking to
everyone else but me I would instantly either smell
a trap or assume that he is not interested in me.
This would turn me against him right away and I
would give him the cold shoulder for the rest of
the evening. Fortunately for you pick-up wannabes,
most younger women, women with low self esteem
and/or low intellect and party-goers will fall
right into this trap.
He says: Direct your attention towards the
target and insult her gently with silly little
negative comments always followed by a smile.
I say: Huh? I read some of the comments offered
as suggestions and I don't think I would be so
amused. But then again I am a born New Englander.
If a guy insulted me in front of people you can
better believe I will through a brutal insult in
his direction and walk away (if I don't throw my
drink in his face). If this strategy works, it
works on women who do not think much of themselves.
But for picking up women to “take home”,
then I guess it suits its purpose.
He says: After entertaining the group for a
while, isolate your target into a one on one
situation and engage her in meaningless
conversation designed to fascinate her. He tells of
how to use magic tricks and little fascinating mind
tricks to keep her enthralled. You would have to
read this chapter to understand this in fine detail
but you get the picture.
I say: This solidifies my theory that the only
women these groups are picking up are either truly
mindless or are looking to be picked up in the
first place. I think if a guy used one of these
little games on me to peek my interest I might
laugh uncontrollably. However, the theory is
correct about keeping someone's interest. His games
were a little too prosaic for me, but I personally
like to be with a guy who teaches me new things
every day. The premise is the same....stimulation
is needed.
He Says: The Cat and String Theory. If you
dangle the string in front of the cat, it plays
with the string wildly but if you just throw the
string down, the cat will look at it and walk away.
He uses this analogy to describe women. For
example, if a woman hugs you and you hug back and
then stay by her side touching her..she will back
off. If she hugs you and then you walk away a
little, she will be following you all night.
I say: For the most part this is true. A woman
likes to feel in control. If you are cramping her
space too much leaving her will little choice to
make on her own, she will back off. But if you
allow her to make the choice, she will feel more
free, safe and secure and she will be the one
chasing you. Correct.
Mr. Strauss goes into further detail about
reading her signals, interpreting positive signals
and successfully completing the deal. More chapters
go into sealing the contract once back at your pad
and how to seduce her into sex. It was an
interesting read and I think most men and women
would enjoy this informative book. It is as bold as
it is entertaining. All seduction books, guides and
manuals are meant for guys who just want to
increase their sex score. In my opinion, the kind
of women you will be hooking up with due to these
methods, although potentially extremely hot, are
not dating material. They are women who are in it
for the moment. These books are not for someone
looking for a relationship....they could do more
harm than good.
©2010, The Advice
Diva
* * *
Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today
as you were a year ago. - Bernard Berenson
Diva Rebecca
has a long and exciting history of when it comes to
love, dating and relationships. Friends and
associates would come to her for advice and
naturally she became the Advice Diva. Having a
socialite status in the big city she decided to put
her expertise down in writing. The Diva does not
claim to be an expert or have certifications in
this area. She explores her own thoughts and
feelings and uses her own opinions formed through
her own experiences. The
company Advice Through Experience was founded and
she wrote four successful e-books published on the
A.T.E. website aptly named www.AdviceDiva.com
They are
Getting Him
or Her Back,
The Divine
Secrets of the Dating Game,
What Women
Really Want and
For Women
Only: How to be Fabulous!
Diva Rebecca’s website is also
host to an online advice column. The column is
completely free and a fun tool for everyone. She
puts some of the posts online in an anonymous form.
The success of her online advice column has led to
the creation of monthly articles for a variety of
printed and online magazines. For questions and
comments contact The Advice Diva at
E-Mail.
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