Man Oh Man I Can is a silly song, but it’s great for bringing up issues about objectification of women, communication difficultiies, fear of closeness, blaming, masturbation, jealousy and parental criticism. Having a plastic or wooden significant other certainly makes it clear who’s in charge of the relationship, doesn’t it! Finding a partner who doesn’t mind if we’re always in control, and keeping our focus on sex and love and romance helps us avoid feeling lonely, but it doesn’t solve our problems. We find ourselves stuck in a relationship where we’re merely existing, not really living.

Man Oh Man I Can

As a window dresser at Macy's
My future held nothing in store
Until that day in the warehouse
When I spotted you there on the floor

I knew when I saw you that you were the one
But you needed some parts for your arm
So I gave you a hand, but your blouse came undone
I still feel shivers from all of your slivers
Though you're rough with me Baby, that's part of your charm!

Chorus: Man, oh man, I love you, man, oh man, I can
Anyway I can
Love you all day
It's not right the way I love, man, oh man, I can
Our love is 'knot holy'
'Wooden' you say?

I know that you're bald, but I don't care at all
Cause I know how self-conscious you are
And you always have a smile for me when I call
I love kissing your lips, though they're missing some chips
From banging around in the trunk of my car!

That blond hair on my collar, you know, that you found?
Well, she's just a dummy I knew long ago
Now you're mad! I can tell, cause you won't make a sound
Must I tap little rhythms on you with my thumb??
Mom always said you'd make a good drum!

Your eternal beauty will never run down
I won't let you warp or decay
When you're old, if you get board, you can lumber around
In my yard where the woodpeckers stay
They'll build nests in your head and keep termites away!


Written by Peter Alsop, ©1975, Moose School Music (BMI)

*    *    *

Peter Alsop is a nationally known singer-songwriter, educator and humorist with a Ph.D. in educational psychology. He graduated from Trinity College in Connecticut and did his doctoral work at Columbia University's Teachers' College and Columbia Pacific University. He worked as the Director of The Harbor Schools Residential Treatment Center for emotionally disturbed adolescents in Maine and as a New York City elementary school teacher in the South Bronx ghetto.

Peter has produced nineteen audio recordings and seven videos and dvd's for which he consistently wins "Best Children's" awards from Parents' Choice and the Association For Independent Music. His songs are used daily by thousands of parents, educators and human service professionals to help families discuss sensitive issues. His "Wake Up" video with John Ritter helps families prevent child abuse and abduction. He's acted on stage and on television, directed a feature film, and performs extensively at conferences, festivals and concerts throughout the United States, Canada as well as hosting an annual training workshops at his Otter Space conference center in Northern California. He lives in Topanga, California with his wife, actress/director Ellen Geer, and their two daughters Willow and Megan. Contact: Moose School Productions, Box 960, Topanga, CA 90290 or 310-455-2318 or E-Mail or


Contact Us | Disclaimer | Privacy Statement
Menstuff® Directory
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon Clay
©1996-2023, Gordon Clay