Strong Men
Strong Marriage

Assessment for Men in Marriage

To create a long-term relationship you need a roadmap to follow. Rather than simply reacting to your mate, it's great to have a core set of principles and guidelines that guide you along the way. Here's a simple test that will give you an idea of what it takes to make a marriage.

Place a Check Mark Next to the Statements That Apply to You as a Marriage Partner

1. I am 100% committed to keeping my marriage alive and strong.

2. I listen to the criticism my spouse gives me so I can hear what she requests or needs from me.

3. I have a clear and inspiring vision for my marriage, and I am committed to it.

4. I take total responsibility for my own internal issues, feelings and blind spots, and I don’t expect my spouse to take care of them.

5. I listen to understand how my wife feels, and I don’t interrupt or try to solve the problem she presents.

6. I stand up for my wife’s well-being and growth, even if I have to challenge her sometimes--and I expect the same from her.

7. I ask for honesty from my wife, and I give the same.

8. I understand how to connect with my spouse so she will feel more motivated to have sex with me.

9. I deal with conflict openly and with integrity: I stay in the room, try to listen to my spouse, and attempt to resolve the issues.

10. I openly and constructively communicate my own needs and feelings (even though I may not do it like a woman would).

11. I feel like I can be a strong, masculine person at home—not wimpy or macho.

12. I am OK with my wife being a powerful person in the world.

Scoring: Total all the check marks.

If you scored 9-12: Good Going! You are a man who has a great chance to succeed at marriage. Time to tackle the few questions you didn’t check.

If you scored 5-8: OK, you have a lot to learn, but there’s lots of hope!

If you scored 1-4: You need to get to work if you want your marriage to last a while. Your current path may take you over a cliff.

©2008, Marty Friedman

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Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years. - Simone Signoret

Martin G. Friedman is the author of “Straight Talk for Men About Marriage—What Men Need to Know About Marriage (And What Women Need to Know About Men)”. For many years, Marty Friedman taught corporate managers how to create good relationships at work before tackling male/female relationship issues--and applying what he learned to his own marriage. The founder of Men in Marriage, Marty is regularly interviewed on radio and television, and talks to organizations and individuals from a unique, inspirational and humorous perspective. Find out more at

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