When Agreements are Broken

It happens all the time.

Your kids have violated curfew, broken something, or made some other kind of mistake. And when you first find out, there's a lot of negative energy in the air.

While it's easy to get angry, and shame and blame your kids, there's a better approach. Take a deep breathe, and ask your child a series of questions:

  • What happened?
  • What did you do?
  • What were you feeling?
  • What did others do?
  • How could you have handled it differently?

These questions help parents to get to the bottom of the situation without shaming. When the information is shared, take some time before deciding the consequence.

And remember, "It behooves a father to be blameless if he expects his child to be." (Homer)

© 2007 Mark Brandenburg

Other Father Issues, Books, Resources

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To this day I can remember my father's voice, singing over me in the stillness of the night. - Carl G. Jung

Mark has a Masters degree in counseling psychology and has been a counselor, business consultant, sports counselor, and a certified life and business coach. He has worked with individuals, teams, and businesses to improve their performance for over 20 years. Prior to life and business coaching Mark was a world-ranked professional tennis player and has coached other world-ranked athletes. He has helped hundreds of individuals to implement his coaching techniques. Mark specializes in coaching men to balance their lives and to improve the important relationships in their lives. He is the author of the popular e-books, 25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers , and Fix Your Wife in 30 Days or Less (And Improve Yourself at the Same Time ). Mark is also the publisher of the “Dads Don’t Fix your Kids” ezine for fathers. To sign up, go to or E-Mail

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