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Learning without Shame
When there are problem situations at home, there
are ways you can have learning occur, as opposed to
shame. "Track" the problems by asking these kinds
of questions:
"What happened?"
"Where were you?"
"What did you do?"
"What did others do?"
"How did you feel?"
"How do you think you handled it?"
"How upset were you?"
"How could you have handled it differently?"
"What will prevent this kind of thing in the
future?"
This line of reasoning will serve to help you
discover the total picture before proceeding, and
it will give your child a chance to improve their
ability to process these kinds of situations. Or,
you could just yell at them! But kids don't learn
or benefit from punishment or shame.
Their best chance to learn is from you keeping
your cool and asking the right questions. The
choice is yours.
© 2007 Mark
Brandenburg
Other Father Issues,
Books,
Resources
* * *
To this day I can remember my father's
voice, singing over me in the stillness of the
night. - Carl G. Jung
Mark has
a Masters degree in counseling psychology and has
been a counselor, business consultant, sports
counselor, and a certified life and business coach.
He has worked with individuals, teams, and
businesses to improve their performance for over 20
years. Prior to life and business coaching Mark was
a world-ranked professional tennis player and has
coached other world-ranked athletes. He has helped
hundreds of individuals to implement his coaching
techniques. Mark specializes in coaching men to
balance their lives and to improve the important
relationships in their lives. He is the author of
the popular e-books, 25
Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent
Fathers
 ,
and Fix
Your Wife in 30 Days or Less (And Improve Yourself
at the Same Time
).
Mark is also the publisher of the “Dads
Don’t Fix your Kids” ezine for fathers.
To sign up, go to www.markbrandenburg.com
or E-Mail
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