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September
News Flash – Men Can Be Stubborn
Why am I always the last to hear about these
things? Maybe I never got the email or was too busy
playing my video games but somehow I missed the
news flash that men can be stubborn. I know now
that I am indeed stubborn because my wife
constantly informs me of this. The realization came
to me at the point when I realized that I was in
the middle of a conversation with my spouse where
she was again explaining my alleged stubbornness
and the actual words I said in response to this
were “am not”. If all men are as stubborn
as this, it is not hard to see why this behavior is
detrimental to our health and that it is time for
us all to rethink our position.
How can being stubborn hurt your health? Think
about the last time a man you know, say your father
or brother, hurt himself seriously enough to
warrant a doctors’ visit but just said,
“It’s nothing”. Sure, the finger is
almost severed in half and there is a pool of blood
a foot wide where he was working, but it’s
“nothing”. Is this how a grown person
should act? The obvious answer is of course not.
Yet, it is a common occurrence for men. Things like
avoiding the yearly physical, having our eyes
tested or having that weird looking mole checked
out have become a sport of sorts for most men. The
“it’s nothing” nature is a strong
one for us guys.
Is it a pride thing or are we just being lazy?
We know we should do things that are beneficial to
our health and well-being but we insist on the easy
way out. We come up with excuses like
“Doctor’s don’t know
everything”, “I’m as healthy as a
horse” or the ever popular twin to
“it’s nothing, the “I’m
fine”. Recently I had a rather eye opening
experience when my doctor informed me that I was
basically a walking time bomb. Being seriously
overweight, out of control eating habits, complete
lack of exercise and an attitude of being
indestructible was leading me to death’s door.
My wife was scared to death I would drop dead one
day and began an all out campaign just to get me to
go to the doctor for a check up. She left no stone
unturned and used the whole arsenal she had. First
it was coaxing – “ It will be easy,
I’ll go with you and it will be done before
you know it”, then it was scare tactics,
“Your mother died young because she
wouldn’t take care of herself either”,
then it was facts – “Men your age have a
68% higher rate of heart attacks if they don’t
see a doctor regularly”, and finally it was
threats – “No more lasagna until the
check up is done”. Now that one hurt. If you
have ever had her lasagna you would know why that
one almost got to me!
Yet I persisted, “There’s nothing
wrong with me” I said with disinterest.
“You need to go for your own good”, she
said with the attitude that I had already lost this
debate and I was one step from getting a Thwacker
to the head. She had made the appointment and was
now, literally, dragging me out the door.
“You’ll see, I’m fine”, I
reminded her as I picked up the car keys.
“That’s what I’ll put on your
headstone” she replied.
We arrived at the doctor’s office and I was
pretty confident that I had nothing to worry about.
After all, I reasoned, how bad could it be? Never,
ever ask that question…about
anything…ever.
The next hour or so went by in a blur of my
doctor going through a laundry list of my
substantial health issues, each item complete with
the morbid forecast if I didn’t change my
ways, with my wife by his side giving me the
“I told you so” nod after each one. I
don’t know which was more frustrating, being
told by my doctor that my wife was right all along
or living with the fact that I already knew what
she said was true and I had been too stubborn to
admit it and try to fix the problem. Either way I
was paying the price for my stubbornness and it
could have cost me my life. Needless to say I now
am more aware of what I eat and try to limit the
things that I know are not good for me, exercise
more and work on a better lifestyle. And my wife
has graciously cancelled the order for that
headstone.
It would appear that I do not own the market on
being stubborn. I myself have run across this
affliction with other men as well. For example,
when I ask Red Hat Society ladies if their husbands
would be interested in joining The Hard Hat
Brotherhood, I frequently get the reply “My
husband would never do a thing like that”.
When asked why not I almost always get the same
reply. That he is so stubborn and even after seeing
how much fun the Red Hat Society is for women, he
is unwilling to take the leap of faith and join a
club or organization that would bring friends,
relaxation and fun into his life. Which then begs
the question “Why don’t they want to do
it”?
The only answer that I can come up with is the
same reason that I didn’t go to the doctor. I
was too lazy to get interested in the reasons why I
should go in the first place. This was followed by
the arrogance that I was indestructible and
didn’t need to be troubled with such petty
things. Just as studies have proven that we need to
get yearly checkups to monitor and control the
things that can become a problem for us physically,
other studies have shown how much men need to
belong to social groups for their mental and
psychological well being. It is our stubbornness,
which keeps us from doing what is right, and
sometimes it takes a good kick in the butt or
Thwacker to the head to get us back on the right
path.
So, gentlemen, I would like you to consider this
your kick in the butt. You need to be involved in
social settings, you need to have friends, you need
to laugh and you need to have fun once a month at
the very least. This is every bit as important to
your well being as your yearly check up, not nearly
as expensive and far more enjoyable…especially
for those of us over 40 or 50…and you know
what I mean! Don’t take the lazy way out or
the “I’m fine” way out. Be as
interested in your mental health as you are in your
physical health. Find some guys, sign up to be a
Hard Hat Brotherhood Crew, get together and do what
ever is fun for you on a regular monthly basis.
That is all there is to it. I can guarantee you
that the benefits to your emotional, mental and
spiritual well-being will be evident about 10
minutes into your first gathering.
And don’t forget to send me an email and
let me know how it all turned out. It is great for
my well being to hear about the fun and friendship
going on out there!
©2007, Andy Smith
* * *
Source:
Andy Smith, HHBrotherhood Central, 8449 Parkridge
Drive, Dexter, MI 48130, or 734.846.2283 or
www.hardhatbrotherhood.com
or headhardhat@hardhatbrotherhood.com
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