Fathers Make
a World of
Difference
 

January
Introduction: Fathers Make A World Of Difference


“Of all nature’s gifts to the human race,
what is sweeter to a man than his children?” Cicero

A new father has arrived.

For millennia birth has been almost exclusively the domain of women; men had a different more distant role to play. For the first time in our history most fathers are participating in the birth of their children. They are also expanding their involvement in the modern family. Fathers today face new challenges because of this. The information, ideas and tools provided in this handbook can assist expectant and new dads in their transition to fatherhood.

You will discover

  • Techniques for reducing stress during pregnancy and birth.
  • Modern ways to protect and provide for your family.
  • Information on how to participate more effectively during the pregnancy.
  • Ideas regarding contributing to your child’s wellbeing, even now.
  • Guidance for bringing a calm and useful presence to your partner’s labor and to the birth of your child.
  • How to take part in building strong and loving foundations for your child which will augment their entire lifetime.
  • The result is that you will be better prepared to participate in the most joyful, satisfying and empowering time of your life.

Help with all those questions

Once a woman reveals her pregnancy to her partner, and reality dawns for the man, virtually all fathers-to-be will ponder the same thing:

“She is having a baby.
What am I supposed to be doing?”

This book will help you to resolve this and various other questions like:

  • What about sex during pregnancy and the breastfeeding time?
  • What is it like to adopt a more nurturing relationship with a child?
  • When I think about becoming a father I notice I get anxious. What do I do?
  • My father was not so great. How can I be a different kind of father?
  • How am I going to be remembered as a father? Do I have a choice?

Opportunity

We will consider conception onward to early infancy through the minds and hearts of the developing baby, the mother and the father. This will provide an understanding of how each family member can be supported, care for each other and receive the most benefit from every phase of this precious time together.

You can awaken your natural fathering instincts as well as acquire the knowledge that will support your development as a father. A central theme in this book is to explore modern possibilities for a father’s role in today’s family. You do not need to be limited by the stereotypes of what a father used to be or should be. You can decide for yourself.

A father’s role is important

The nature of a father’s involvement, from the start, has significant impact on a child’s development in numerous ways. “Where fathers are involved, breastfeeding is more successful, post-natal depression reduced, children are more successful at examinations at 16 and are less likely to have a criminal record at 21.”1

There are volumes of research which confirm:

Fathers make a world of difference.

A once in a lifetime opportunity exists, now. Through research in science and psychology, we now know that the baby is having significant and lasting experiences during pregnancy, birth and the early months of life. They are also aware and making decisions about these experiences. The weight of those decisions can influence a lifetime.

A woman, during this significant and very special time is birthing a child, a family and our society. She needs to be protected and provided for in ways that recognize the importance of her role.

Men are also having an experience during this time which deserves to be acknowledged and supported. Men’s experience is different than women’s. Men feel, yet they sense and interpret feelings differently from women. Men also reveal and resolve their feelings in dissimilar ways. Fathers have a particular role to play and they can benefit greatly from specific guidance and support, just like mothers.

This book is to inform but also to stimulate an enquiry. Who are we, how did we come to be this way and what do we, as fathers, really want for ourselves and our families?

The research, tools and exercises herein are designed to help you in resolving concerns or ambivalence you may have surrounding pregnancy, birth and fathering. This will result in less stress for all and increased confidence and enjoyment for you and your partner.

What is provided here can be used as a road map. Like any map, this one will indicate numerous possible routes to use to help you get to where you would like to be, as a father to your children and contributor in your family.

Mothers can also derive great benefit from this book. A simple word change from father to mother and man to woman will reveal much.

©2010, Patrick Houser


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Patrick Houser is a father and a grandfather. His second son's arrival was the first waterbirth in the U.S. This led him into nearly 25 years of support for both choices and working with parents. He has gained wide experience from various fields including a degree in marketing, owning a construction firm and a natural health centre. Patrick is a Life Coach and co-founder of Fathers-To-Be, a new concept in antenatal education, for men. Fathers-To-Be also offers consulting and training for health service providers. E-Mail or www.fatherstobe.org These articles are excerps from his book Fathers-To-Be Handbook: A road map for the transition to fatherhood.


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