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December
Afterward III: New Thinking about Fatherhood:
Protecting the Cave
The ancient archetype of a father at birth is
that he stands guard at the opening to the cave to
protect the birthing mother and their child. As we
move through time he comes closer to the actual
location of the birth itself; waiting, protecting.
Then, in the late 20th century he enters the room
and becomes involved. His first role was to protect
the family from danger; wild animals or perhaps
other tribes people…survival. As birth became
more industrialized his role has altered. Could it
be that the father is entering the birthing room
for a more primal reason than we would like to
think?
Is there a chance the danger is now coming from
even closer to the mother and baby? Could it now be
coming from inside the room itself? Has
interference from our modern approach to birth, a
natural physiological process, reached the point
where fathers are now needed to intercede, to
protect in a new way? Caesarean rates in some
countries have escalated to as high as eighty
percent. Interventions of every un-imaginable kind
are rampant and much of what is being ‘done
to’ the mother and child is unnecessary and
pre-emptive.
What if a reason has evolved to have the father
in the birthing room, in addition to bonding and
support? Suppose that a modern form of a
father’s protection is to guard against the
excessive interference of people, equipment and
artificial drugs into the very ordinary process of
birth. Many interventions at birth are the result
of over educated professionals, with good
intentions, who are medically trained to intervene
in a non-medical process.
Humanity cannot invent a drug that
can work better than a mothers’ body can
manufacture or a knife that is sharper than her
instinctual nature.’
If a mother is properly protected and an
environment is provided that is safe and warm and
free from unnecessary interventions, distractions
and interruptions; questions, examinations and
conversations, she can get on with the business of
being in her ‘instinctual brain’ and
access all of the hormones and inner resources she
and her body need to birth her baby in love, safety
and empowerment.
When it comes to hospital births a
father’s biggest challenge/dilemma is how
to navigate/negotiate the gauntlet of this
totally foreign environment. You will face
emotional and physical situations as never
before. These will pertain to you directly as
well as the ones you love, want to protect and
want the best for. There is no ‘good or
right’ answer as to how to do this. Prepare
yourself as best you can, get reasonable and
satisfactory answers to your questions and
remember to stay centered (use your tools) and
above all trust your partners ability to give
birth.
©2010, Patrick
Houser
* * *
Patrick
Houser is a father and a grandfather. His second
son's arrival was the first waterbirth in the U.S.
This led him into nearly 25 years of support for
both choices and working with parents. He has
gained wide experience from various fields
including a degree in marketing, owning a
construction firm and a natural health centre.
Patrick is a Life Coach and co-founder of
Fathers-To-Be, a new concept in antenatal
education, for men. Fathers-To-Be also offers
consulting and training for health service
providers. E-Mail
or www.fatherstobe.org
These articles are excerps from his book
Fathers-To-Be
Handbook: A road map for the transition
to fatherhood.
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