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Military Dads Denied Father's Rights
While he was deployed in Afghanistan, a U.S. Navy
Seal wrote www.hisside.com/gary_lullaby.htm
a lullaby for his son Sean, whom he calls SS. The
song opens:
Rock a bye SS ROCK
Rock a Bye you sang to me each eve
And you gave me rolling rock a byes of dreams I've
yet to dream.
Each night I'd pray that when I'd awake
You'd have safely ROCK'd me home to the greatest
gift,
the Lord hath given me; my little son named
Sean.
Sean may never hear that lullaby again, not
because his father Gary died but because
Sean’s mother relocated him to Israel. She
visited family there during one of Gary’s
re-deployments and simply stayed, seeking a divorce
from abroad. Gary has unsuccessfully battled the
family court system in California, which has
jurisdiction over the divorce, for almost two years
in order to gain some access to SS. After all, that
same court demands he pay hefty child support. Gary
comments “I am paying $2,100 a month not to
see my son.” [Gary was featured in a
two-part Fox News story entitled "SEAL, Sorrow" in
2003.]
This is the new face of father’s rights, a
face men’s rights activists are determined you
will see in coming months: the military man who is
‘processed’ by the family courts during
his tour of duty or upon his return. A father who
returns ‘home’ to children he cannot see
and, often, to support payments he cannot make. As
Gary www.glennsacks.com/the_betrayal_of.htm
states, "Sometimes I wonder what I risked my life
for [in Afghanistan]. I went to fight for
freedom but what freedom and what rights mean
anything if a man doesn't have the right to be a
father to his own child?"
On March 13th, the men’s rights syndicated
radio show His Side featured Gary in www.hisside.com/3_13_05.htm
a program entitled “Two Years into Iraq War,
Little Has Been Done to Protect the Rights of
Military Fathers.” Gary is www.glennjsacks.com/families_and_the.htm
not alone.
The grassroots organization American Coalition
of Fathers and Children (ACFC) has just launched a
vigorous www.acfc.org/advertisingcampaign.htm
ad campaign to educate the public on how
anti-father bias in the courts is destroying the
family. An ad currently being prepared by the ACFC
highlights the dilemma of military dads who are
victimized by zero-tolerance and unreasonable
legislation that was passed to deal with
“deadbeats.”
Activists are pushing the image of the military
father who is victimized by family courts not
merely because it is true but primarily because it
is effective. That image breaks through the
pervasive cultural stereotype that fathers who lose
custody or become “deadbeats” are
uncaring, unfit, wife beating, child-abusing losers
who deserve what they get. Do uncaring and unfit
fathers exist? Absolutely. But others fathers
resemble Gary -- a Navy veteran with a perfect
military and civilian record. It is his image that
father’s rights activists wish you to see.
Why? Because to a large extent, it is the
stereotype of the loser or abusive dad that permits
family courts, government agencies and the general
public to turn a deaf ear to the three main
complaints of father’s rights activists. These
complaints are:
- responsible fathers are commonly denied
custody or access to their children, often
through the mother’s relocation
- paternity fraud goes unpunished or even
rewarded by judges who assess child support
nevertheless
- and, child support standards are
unreasonable
By contrast, the family court system cannot
ignore the complaints of alienated military fathers
with the same impunity. For one thing, public
opinion will not permit them to do so.
An indication of how strong the public backlash
might be came in the early ‘90s with the
www.ancpr.org/bradleywtarticle.htm
Bobby Sherrill case. Sherrill wasn’t a member
of the military proper; he was a Lockheed employee
and divorced father working in Kuwait when Iraq
invaded. Sherrill was held captive by the Iraqis
for five months. Upon his return to North Carolina,
he was arrested for non-payment of $1,425 in child
support that accrued while he was a hostage.
The public backlash passed, partly because
people assumed Sherrill was an aberration, a
bizarre exception under an otherwise
‘good’ law. But Sherrill was imprisoned
because of the same unreasonable legislation that
returning military fathers and every other
alienated dad in America must face.
Phyllis Schlafly who publicly endorses the ACFC
ad spotlighting military fathers -- blasts one
particular piece of legislation in her www.townhall.com/columnists/phyllisschlafly/ps20050228.shtml
February 18th column at TownHall, entitled
“Reservists deserve protection from
family-court mischief.”
She writes, “www.ancpr.org/666.htm
The Bradley Amendment…takes us back to the
cruel days of debtors' prisons. It requires that a
child-support debt cannot be retroactively reduced
or forgiven, and states enforce this law no matter
what the change in a father's income, no matter if
he is sent to war…and no matter if he is ever
allowed to see his children.”
Consider one example of how the Bradley
Amendment impacts military fathers. Reservists
typically assume a sizeable pay cut when they
transfer into military life. But child support is
based on their civilian salaries and the Bradley
Amendment effectively blocks readjustment of that
debt. Thousands of miles away and out of
communication, such fathers are vulnerable to
defaults that can lead to financial ruin, as well
as the forfeiture of passports, driver’s and
professional licenses. In some states, a default of
over $5,000 is a felony that includes
imprisonment.
Advocates of the Bradley Amendment maintain that
taking a rock-hard line is necessary to ensure that
deadbeat dads do not use loopholes to avoid their
obligations. But these advocates now argue against
a different image of divorced fatherhood. The
military dad.
He voices a message on behalf of every alienated
father. Repeal the zero tolerance laws that have
removed compassion and circumstance from family
law. Repeal the Bradley Amendment; remove the
bureaucracy that automatically separates father and
child.
©2007, Wendy
McElroy
* * *
Wendy
McElroy is the editor of ifeminists.com
and a research fellow for The Independent Institute
in Oakland, Calif. She is the author and editor of
many books and articles, including her latest book,
Liberty for Women: Freedom and Feminism in the
21st Century. She lives with her husband in
Canada. E-Mail.
Also, see her daily blog at www.zetetics.com/mac
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