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April
Father-Daughter Friendly Schools
Dads, next time you're in your daughter's school,
or next time you get a letter or other written
information from her school, ask yourself these
questions:
(1) How "father friendly" is this school?
(2) How welcomed and how important do my
daughter's teachers and counselors make me
feel?
(3) Do I ever get the sense that her teachers or
counselors think her mother is more important or
more necessary than I am?
(4) Does the school send the message that
father-daughter relationships are just as important
as father-son or mother-daughter relationships?
As a father, you can take an active role in
helping your daughter's teachers and counselors
strengthen father-daughter relationships by making
fathers feel more welcomed and more important. Use
my checklist to asses how well your daughter's
school is doing in regard to father-daughter
relationships - especially for divorced or never
married fathers:
0=never 1=rarely 2= usually 3=almost always
__The school has pictures of fathers interacting
with their daughters on the bulletin boards or in
library displays
__The school mails all information about his
daughter to the divorced father's home as well as
to the divorced mother's home
__Library books focus in positive ways on
fathers & daughters
__The school sometimes has special events only
for fathers & daughters
__The school offers special materials or
workshops just for fathers
__Counselors gather as much information from
fathers as from mothers
__Counselors include dads in counseling as much
as they include mothers
__Fathers are invited to come to class as guests
or as tutors
__Teachers include both parents in
conferences
__Teachers arrange conferences in ways that
allow divorced fathers the choice to attend without
their ex-wife
____Total Score of 30 -
The higher the school scores, the more "father
friendly" it is - and the better job it's doing to
support and value father-daughter
relationships.
©2009, Dr. Linda
Nielsen
See Books,
Issues,
Resources
* * *
It is easier for a father to have children than
for children to have a real father. Pope John
XXIII
Dr. Nielsen
has been teaching, counseling, conducting research
and writing about adolescents and father-daughter
relationships since 1970. A member of Phi Beta
Kappa and the recipient of the outstanding
graduate's award in teacher education from the
University of Tennessee in 1969, she taught and
counseled high school students for several years.
After earning a Master's Degree in Counseling and a
Doctorate in Educational and Adolescent Psychology,
she joined the faculty of Wake Forest University in
1974. Her grants and awards include the Outstanding
Article Award in 1980 from the U.S. Center for
Women Scholars and a postdoctoral fellowship from
the American Association of University Women. For
the past fifteen years she has focused primarily on
father-daughter relationships with a special
emphasis on divorced fathers and their daughters.
Her work has been cited in the "Wall Street
Journal" as well as in popular magzines such as
"Cosmopolitan", and shared through television and
radio interviews..
In 1991 she created her "Fathers
& Daughters" course - the only college course
in the country that focuses exclusively on
father-daughter relationships. In addition to
having written several dozen articles for journals
such as the "Harvard Educational Review" and the
"Journal of Divorce & Remarriage", Dr. Nielsen
has written three books: How to Motivate
Adolescents (Prentice Hall) and Adolescence: A
Contemporary View (Harcourt Brace) which sold more
than 60,000 copies and was adopted by hundreds of
universities throughout the country and abroad
between 1986-1996. Her third book, Embracing
Your Father: Creating the Relationship You Want
with Your Dad was
published in April, 2004. www.wfu.edu/~nielsen
or E-Mail
* * *
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