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May
What can Schools do to Help Stop Bullies
& Violence?
It's all about talking it out: Child to Child (Peer
Mediation), Teacher to Parent (PTO's, PTA's),
Teacher to Teacher (in service days), Parent to
Child (at home). There should be town meetings
involving the parents, students, and entire school
faculty to discuss Conflict Resolution. The
teachers should also allow the students to give
"their" ideas on how they would like situations
handled. For younger students, role playing of
"victims" and "bullies" in the classroom will help
them understand the cause and effect - how it
feels. Another idea for younger kids getting picked
on could be to have an older student assigned as a
type of mentor that he could talk to, and who would
step in to settle a conflict or dispute. Groups
have also been created where victims and their
parents can meet with other victims and discuss
solutions. It's comforting to know you're not
alone, and friendships can be made there.
Many schools admit that the lockers are the most
common place that bullying takes place. Teachers
could take turns standing by these lockers during
class changes.
The schools can also pass out questionnaires,
and do surveys or polls to find out what students
and parents think about what is happening and what
they would like to see done. Some teachers have
told me that their schools put up a peace flag
outside on days when there is no conflict in the
school. This promotes a pride in the school, and
teaches them that even one person's actions can
have consequences that affect everyone. Other
schools are using posters, and having the students
wear certain colors on certain days.
Teachers are also using, "Taking the Bully by
the Horns" for role playing in the classrooms.
Since I believe in my book, and the help it's been
giving children, I suggest reading it aloud to the
group. The book is written in first person, so you
will be addressing them, and speaking directly to
them. This way, you can teach them the skills they
need to handle bullies and feel good about
themselves (self-esteem/life skills). I ask
questions in the book, and you can pause to get
their opinions. I also added a bit of humor so it
will be enjoyable for them AND they will learn
something. Then, you could try some role playing,
where they take turns acting out situations where
they play both bullies and victims. This will show
them how it "feels" and give them ideas on what to
do to help themselves and others.
Our local schools participated in Berks County's
Annual Week Without Violence. One program included,
"Hands Around Violence." Students made paper
cutouts of their hand prints and wrote nonviolent
messages on them. For example, "I will not use my
hands or words for hurting." The "Pledge Hands"
will serve as a visual reminder that together they
can make a difference.
Other activities included a white out, where
students wore as much white as possible to
symbolize peace, a unity day, where students wore
their school colors, and a smile day, where each
student received a smile card and handed that card
over to the first person to smile at them.
Another great idea schools are using is to have
teachers hold up pictures of kids faces while
asking the students, "How does this person feel?"
This promotes a discussion aimed at helping kids to
identify and describe emotions. And for teens,
pictures of conflicts or stressful situations can
be used to promote discussion & ideas for
resolution.
Let kids know it's OK to talk about problems;
that parents and teachers are willing to listen,
and eager to help. Also, if your kids/students are
"bystanders" to their friends, or other kids being
bullied, tell them how important it is for them to
help these kids by reporting it. If they are
afraid, they can use an anonymous tip, or tell the
teachers not to use their name when confronting the
bully.
The anonymous tip was only suggested for those
victims who feared revenge from the bully in the
form of physical abuse for their "snitching." Yes,
in many cases the name of the victim would have to
be given in order for the conflict to be directly
approached. A bully being accused of attacking a
"nameless" child might try to talk his way out of
it. But if a name is used in relating to a
particular incident with a specific child, and if
there was proof, or witnesses, it's harder to
deny.
©2012 Kathy Noll
* * *
In violence, we forget who we are. - Mary
McCarthy
Kathy
Noll is the co-author of Taking
the Bully by the Horns.
She has had her short stories/articles published in
magazines along with interviews, helped NBC news
monitor a classroom in Philadelphia for bullying
behavior, and also helped many people with their
own bully problems through her book, educational
and family related Internet chats, message board
hosting, and e-mail. She has also spoken on radio
and television shows discussing the topics of
school violence and self-esteem. Most recently she
appeared with co-author Dr. Carter on the Montel
Williams show where they talked to kids about
bullies, and promoted their book, "Taking the Bully
by the Horns." She also works as a consultant for
various TV News & Talk Shows. Her second book,
Encounters with Every-Day Angels, is a
workbook on bullying and character development that
can be used in the classroom. www.kathynoll.com
or Email.
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