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Purple Circles
The world has swung between periods when men
literally owned their women through a time when
people decided that women were completely identical
to men (plumbing excluded) because they could
accomplish everything that men could. Most people
nowadays believe somewhere in between, but are
often uncomfortable talking about the differences
between men and women (plumbing excluded).
“Getting in touch with your feminine
side” is easier to say than “maintaining
your manliness”, but both usually come with a
snicker. I wonder why that is?
So I have decided, for the sake of the mission
of this website, to lay out where I am coming from,
masculinity-ly speaking. Here’s how I see men
and women and their intricate and confusing
relationship: Men have more hair. That pretty much
sums it all up.
To demonstrate how men and women are the same
and different, first imagine a pink circle. That
circle represents everything that makes a Woman.
This could be Sensitivity, Intuition, and the
ability to match clothing. Oh, and the
understanding of the necessity to own 27 pairs of
shoes.
Now, imagine a blue circle. Yes, this represents
everything that makes a Man. (I know, pink and blue
are contrived, but I have another reason to use
them. Just wait.) The blue circle contains things
like Aggression, Body Odor, and the Understanding
of Sports Statistics.
These two circles each represent a fictional
person who is wholly male or wholly female by
personality traits alone. However, no one is all
Man or all Woman, so to represent a real person, we
have to merge the two circles. Where they overlap
is an oddly shaped purple circle (now see why we
needed pink and blue?). That area represents the
qualities that cannot be defined as masculine or
feminine, but are found in BOTH men and women.
Intelligence, Common Sense, Love of Donuts, and the
Desire to Provide the Best for Your Children could
fall into the purple.
Where the pink is left over are aspects of women
that men do not have (and do not understand). The
blue sliver remaining stands for purely masculine
traits.
My point is this: Stay-At-Home-Dads, by the
nature of what we do, probably are more “in
touch with our feminine sides” than the
average guy. We nurture, we comfort, we even try to
dress our children in non-embarrassing clothing
combinations. “The Vacuum is a Power
Tool” is a reminder that we need to be aware
of that blue sliver, that grunting, farting,
writing-our-names-in-the-snow part of us. It
shouldn’t be in command, but it cannot be
suppressed completely.
If we start focusing on the purple only and
forget that we have the blue, we will not be whole
people, whole men, or good fathers. This is not a
call to run around in the woods dressed in bear
skins or a memorandum on the superiority of
men.
It is nothing more than a reminder that Mr. Mom
is from Mars, too.
©2008, Mark
Phillips
* * *
Women, it's true, make human beings, but
only men can make men. - Margaret Mead
Mark
Phillips is a Stay-At-Home-Dad and freelance
writer. Along with raising his four children, he is
developing a franchise called “The Vacuum IS a
Power Tool.” It is designed to help SAHDs
maintain that which makes us men, instead of hairy
Mom-substitutes. He earned a B.S. in
Communication/Theatre Arts and teaching
certificates in English, public speaking, and
psychology from Eastern Michigan University. After
six years as a high school English teacher and
Director of Dramatic Arts at Powers Catholic High
School in Flint, Michigan, he changed careers and
became a Stay-At-Home-Dad. www.TheVacuumIsAPowerTool.com
or E-Mail
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