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October
New campaign launched on International Men's Day
for male victims of family violence and abuse
“Each night when she came from work I would be
tense and nervous. I didn't know in what way she
was going to abuse me.” This is Matthew’s
story: the tale of a man who was regularly abused
by his female partner in his own home.
Unfortunately such stories are commonplace.
Male victims of family violence often face
barriers to disclosing their abuse. They can suffer
shame, embarrassment and the social stigma of not
being able to protect themselves. They are likely
to be told that there must be something they did to
provoke their partner’s violence.
Alan, another male victim, finally summoned up
the courage to talk to someone about his
partner’s ongoing sexual abuse. “Who to
talk to for advice - family or friends? No way. I
spoke to a doctor. She seemed to listen to my
stammering for a few minutes and then while
scribbling asked, ‘What are you doing to make
her behave that way?’”.
Dr Elizabeth Celi, a Melbourne psychologist
says, “Unlike physical violence, many of the
forms of domestic abuse faced by male victims are
difficult to detect and hard for the man himself to
defend against. A man’s health is wrapped up
in his identity. Attacking his self-worth through
various forms of criticism, manipulation and
intimidation are forms of emotional and verbal
violence that we need to learn about as a society
and say ‘Enough!’”
As well as the effects of violence on men
themselves, their children can suffer a range of
negative impacts on their behavioural, cognitive
and emotional functioning and social development.
Neglecting violence against men means neglecting
these children as well.
As part of this year's International Men’s
Day celebrations, a new campaign for male victims
of family violence was launched. The One in Three
campaign is named after the little known fact that
up to one in three victims of sexual assault and at
least one in three victims of family violence is
male (perhaps as many as one in two).
For example, researcher Murray Straus conducted
an extensive study of partner violence by
university students in 32 nations and found that,
in Australia, 14% of physical violence between
dating partners in the past year was perpetrated by
males only, 21% by females only and 65% was mutual
violence.
The campaign aims to raise public awareness of
the existence and needs of male victims of family
violence and abuse; to work with government and
non-government services alike to provide assistance
to male victims; and to reduce the incidence and
impacts of family violence on Australian men, women
and children. Supporters of the campaign include Dr
Elizabeth Celi, Maggie Hamilton, author of What Men
Don't Talk About and Steve Biddulph, author of
Manhood.
Hamilton says, “Until researching What Men
Don't Talk About I had no idea about domestic
violence towards men. I was shocked to discover
this had touched the lives of several close friends
- men of all backgrounds from manual labourers to
professionals. While we remain silent on this
issue, men continue to be hurt, to be
ignored.”
Biddulph writes, “With family violence, we
had to address ‘women and children
first’; but in 2009, the troubling nub of
violence is in families where both partners are
violent, as well as those most hidden, where women
hit men. Violence is a miserable way to live, for
perpetrator and victim, and for little children
forced to watch. Today nobody approves of or
accepts wife bashing. Husband bashing needs this
same condemnation and action.”
While many services have rightly been
established to support female victims of family
violence, the needs of male victims remain largely
unmet. Acknowledging this imbalance, the Western
Australian Men’s Advisory Network recently
commissioned ground-breaking research by Edith
Cowan University into the nature and extent of
domestic abuse against men.
Greg Millan from Newcastle’s Men’s
Health Services was recently contacted by a
women’s domestic violence worker who had also
started providing support for men after witnessing
growing numbers of male victims in court without
any assistance. Millan subsequently developed a
training program called Working with Men affected
by Violence, for workers in the domestic violence
and family relationship sector.
On the international front, the Valley Oasis
shelter in Lancaster, California, was the first in
the USA to give refuge to victims regardless of
their gender. “Our philosophy is that domestic
violence is a societal problem,” said Carol
Ensign, the shelter's executive director.
“Nobody deserves to get hit, whether they are
2 months old or 80 years old, whether they are a
man or woman, child or teen.” (Note: The
Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women also
provides services in the US, as does A New Leaf in
the Phoenix AZ area, and SAFE online -- Ed.)
A groundbreaking Dutch scheme has recently
established shelters for abused men in four major
cities.
In Ireland, Amen provides a confidential
helpline, support service and information for male
victims of domestic abuse.
In the UK, the Next Steps Housing Association
has recently created 100 places in 35 refuge houses
for husbands and partners of abusive women.
Confidential helplines for men have also been
established in England and Wales.
The One in Three website can be found at
oneinthree.com.au
Source: www.examiner.com/x-12866-Domestic-Violence-Examiner~y2009m11d20-New-campaign-launched-on-International-Mens-Day-for-male-victims-of-family-violence-and-abuse
©2010, Trudy W.
Schuett
* * *
Trudy W.
Schuett is an Arizona-based online veteran with 10
years in cyberspace; an author and multiblogger.
She has held workshops on blogging, writing, and
promo for writers at the New Communications Forum
and Arizona Western College, and has participated
in world blogging events such as Global PR Blog
Week. She is also an advocate for unserved victims
of domestic violence. She is is the author of three
novels, two how-to books and eight blogs. Note:
Books are currently out of print, but two appear in
blog form. She lives in Yuma AZ, with her husband,
Paul. desertlightjournal.blog-city.com/
or E-Mail.
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