Reaching A Crossroad in a Relationship: A Time to Make a Decision

There is something about the coming of a new year that causes us to take stock of ourselves, our lives and our relationships. I guess that's what New Year's resolutions are all about - making positive changes in various aspects of our lives.

So as many of us contemplate what we would like to change or improve about ourselves or our situation, it makes sense that our thoughts often turn to the relationships we are in.

In taking stock of your important intimate relationship, you might want to think about the following questions (and not necessarily in this order):

1. Are my partner and I moving in the same direction?

2. Is the relationship growing or is it at a standstill or worse yet, is it deteriorating?

3. Do my partner and I share the same values, goals and dreams as we once did?

4. Am I able to maintain some autonomy in the relationship (in other words a "sense of self") or is the relationship primarily geared toward and directed by my partner's needs?

These questions should help you sort out what is going on - or not going on - in your relationship. If nothing else, it will start you thinking...

To learn more about relationship challenges, read Dr. Sommer's free mini e-Book - "Loneliness: feeling Cut Out of Life" at

© 2008, Reena Sommer

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However often marriage is dissolved, it remains indissoluble. Real divorce, the divorce of heart and nerve and fiber, does not exist, since there is no divorce from memory. - Virgilia Peterson

Dr. Reena Sommer is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. She became widely known as a strong critic of domestic violence policies that failed to recognized the reciprocal nature of partner abuse.

Dr. Sommer has been an invited speaker to academic, government and lay audiences in Canada and the U.S.. In 1998, Dr. Sommer testified before the Joint Senate-House of Commons Committee on Custody and Access on the issue of domestic violence. More recently in April 2002, she was invited by the Canadian federal government to participate on a panel of experts on the issue of custody and access.

She has written extensively on relationship and family issues such as domestic violence, addictions, divorce and custody. Her interest in high conflict relationships led her toward developing expertise as a divorce consultant in the assessment and treatment of parental alienation syndrome under Dr. Richard Gardner. As well, Dr. Sommer recently completed her e-Book, The Anatomy of an Affair. A free condensed pdf version of the e-Book can be downloaded.

Dr. Sommer has produced three divorce related informational products which are currently available online in the form of downloadable audiofiles: Divorce 101: Things You are Unlikely to Hear from an Attorney; Developing an Effective Parenting Plan, and Preparing for a Custody Evaluation.

You are also welcome to sign up for a free mini-course, Arming Yourself for Your Custody Battle! See or for more information, please email us at E-Mail or 204. 487.7247 or fax: 204.487.3051  

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