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Living with joy!
After I completed a seminar, a gentleman who
apparently disagreed with most of what I had said
approached me. I could tell by the look on his face
that he was obviously unhappy. The topic of
discussion was joy and I knew that this man could
not relate to the topic. As he approached me I knew
that I would practice what I preached by being
friendly and courteous to him.
“Hello” I said.
“Hello, I was listening to your topic and I
have to disagree with what you said”. Stated
the angry looking man.
“What part of the speech did you disagree
with?”
“Most of it actually. I don’t think
men are supposed to be joyful. Not only are they
not supposed to be joyful I do not think that they
are supposed to smile so much. I don’t trust a
man that smiles so much”.
“What is it about a smiling man that you
don’t trust?”
“I’m not exactly sure but I know that
men who smile so much are usually up to no good. My
daddy told me to always look out for men who smile
all the time”.
“What if your daddy was wrong? What if
there are men who smile a lot and are also
trustworthy? What if you were one of those
men?” “Do you think it’s possible
for you to be happy and smile every now and
then?
“I really don’t have any reason to
smile. Life is tough and I think that it’s
important to be prepared for the worst. That’s
why I keep my feelings to myself and not act like a
sissy by smiling”.
“So you think that smiling makes you less
of man”?
“To some degree I do”.
“What if you’re wrong? What if you
could smile and be joyful and still maintain your
masculinity?"
“I don’t think that’s possible
but I’m sure I’m not going to change your
point of view. I just wanted to express my opinion.
I appreciate you listening. Have a nice
day”!
As the angry man walked away I felt a little
sorry for him. I knew there was a part of him that
really wanted to be happy but I also recognized
that he did not have the emotional tools to access
his joy. I wanted to embrace him and let him know
that he could find his joy if he really wanted to
but I knew that he would not have been receptive to
any type of embrace or physical contact.
Our conversation confirmed the need for men to
create a new dialog about what it means to be a man
in today’s ever-changing world. Amazingly,
there are millions of men who feel exactly as the
angry man felt. They have bought into the illusion
that feeling and expressing joy is for women and
that somehow it makes us less than men if we
express our positive emotions. The truth of the
matter is, expressing our emotions is our
birthright. It isn’t feminine to express
emotions and it does not make you a
“sissy”. It takes a lot of courage to be
emotionally open and honest in our current paradigm
of masculinity. Our country is paying a terrible
price for this antiquated way of thinking and
behaving and the time has come to create a new
paradigm of masculinity. In this new paradigm we
learn to connect to our joy and our happiness. We
give ourselves permission to be creative and
artistic without fear of being labeled
“gay” or “feminine”. We would
also recognize that men who smile all the time
could be trustworthy and that smiling has lots of
health benefits in addition to making you feel
good.
So the next time you see a man smiling
don’t accuse him of being weak or too
sensitive. Recognize that he just might be filled
with joy and the only way that he can release it is
to smile and be happy. If you are really courageous
walk up to him with a smile on your face and say,
“It’s really nice to meet a man that is
living with joy. I know exactly how you feel and
that is why I have this humongous smile on my face.
I am living with joy and I absolutely love
it!”
©2009, Michael
Taylor
* * *
Michael
Taylor is a dreamer, revolutionary, an
entrepreneur, author (A New
Conversatoin with
Men), personal
development coach and motivational speaker who has
dedicated his life to empowering men (and women) to
reach their full potential. He does not consider
himself to be an expert or guru. He does consider
himself to be extremely knowledgeable in the field
of personal growth and development. The fact is, he
is an ordinary guy that made a commitment to live
an extraordinary life and he wants to challenge you
to do the same. E-Mail
or www.anewconversationwithmen.com
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