|
November
Why are men so uncomfortable watching “Chick
Flicks”?
For as long as I can remember I have always loved
movies. As I reflect back over my teenage years
some of my greatest memories include going to the
movies. Of course back then my interest wasn’t
always focused on the movie. In most cases I was
more interested in using the movie as a way to get
my date in a dark quiet place. If I were really
lucky, I might even get a chance to
“accidentally” touch her breast as I
attempted to put my arm around her. Those were the
good old days.
Now that I am happily married and do not have to
accidentally touch my wife’s breast, (another
good reason to be happily married) I can really
focus my attention on the movies and their content.
As I have grown older and become more enlightened I
have come to the conclusion that movies are really
metaphors for life and if we watch them with an
open heart and an open mind they can assist us in
our emotional and spiritual growth.
Steven Simon (author and producer of Somewhere
in Time and What Dreams May Come) really
encapsulates how I feel about movies when he
writes, “Movies are the most electrifying
communications medium ever devised and the natural
conduit of inspiring ourselves to look into the
eternal issues of who we are and why we are
here.”
Now I’m sure most people reading this may
not have such a serious definition of what movies
mean, but to me that sums it up. Movies can inspire
us and help us discover who we are and why we are
here.
I love all genres of movies, Sci-fi, Action,
Drama, Comedy you name them I love them. Like most
guys I have a passion for action films. I enjoy the
special effects and explosions and of course the
ass-kicking martial arts films. I remember watching
Bruce Lee in Enter The Dragon and being so
mesmerized by his martial arts. His body was like
poetry in motion and the fact that he was able to
fight off 10-20 guys at a time definitely made him
a hero in my eyes. As a matter of fact I think I
still have a knot on my head from trying to emulate
his moves with my homemade nun-chucks. One thing
that I like about my wife is that she also loves
martial art films. She told me that if I had not
married her she was going to marry Jet Li the
kung-fu fighting ass-kicking king of cinema. Good
thing I got there before he did.
Now I’m sure most guys may not admit to
this but I also love animated movies. I love them
so much that I do not even have to pretend to take
my kids to watch them. Of course my kids are grown
up now so I could not use them as an excuse even if
I wanted to, but the truth is I have absolutely no
problem going to the theater and sitting through an
animated feature all by myself. There are two
reasons that I enjoy animated films. First of all
it keeps me in touch with my inner child and the
feelings of joy that comes from that connection.
Secondly, I really love computer animation and
watching how technology continues to evolve and how
realistic the animation looks. In my opinion
computer animation is an art form. It is a
beautiful creative expression that really moves
me.
And now we get to the real reason I wrote this
article. You see I have a confession to make. I am
not embarrassed or ashamed of this and I do not
feel like less of a man by saying this. Are you
ready for the confession? Here it is. I love CHICK
FLICKS!
That’s right I love them. Of course the
appropriate term for the genre is romantic movies
so I will use that term as I share why I enjoy them
so much.
I must be honest and tell you that I have not
always enjoyed romantic movies. Like most men they
would make me extremely uncomfortable because I did
not know how to express my feelings as I watched
them. If ever I felt emotional I would repress the
feelings and not allow my self to experience the
appropriate emotion. Like most men I was unable to
be that open and vulnerable so I would deflect the
emotion with some unconscious attempt to not appear
too sensitive. My defense mechanism of choice was
laughter. If ever I would become overwhelmed with
sadness I would crack a joke to deflect the
feeling. If I were overcome with joy and happiness
I would simply laugh in an inauthentic manner to
keep from feeling the true joy. Whenever I feel
deep joy I usually cry and that was a huge blow to
my masculine ego so I never allowed that to happen.
So rather than expose myself to the possibility of
being emotional I used to avoid romantic movies
like I avoid rectal exams.
But now things are different. As a result of my
healing and inner work I am able to experience
movies at a deep emotional level. I can now allow
myself the freedom to simply experience whatever
emotion I’m feeling and then express whatever
feeling I’m having spontaneously and
authentically. It amazes me how much of the movies
I used to miss because I did not allow myself to
feel and experience the movie. Now that I am open
to all of my emotions it simply makes the movie
going experience more enjoyable.
This is just one of many benefits of doing inner
work and connecting to your emotions. Movies have
more meaning; your sense of beauty is heightened,
relationships are more rewarding and fulfilling,
your spirituality is deeper and more connected and
your sense of self is elevated.
So if you happen to be one of those guys’
that’s afraid of watching chick flicks ask
yourself these questions;
- Are you uncomfortable expressing your
emotions?
- Are you afraid that you might not be able to
hold back the tears of sadness or joy?
- Are you so insecure in your masculinity that
you simply refuse to even consider checking out
a chick flick?
- Are you afraid of being called a punk, wimp
or sissy?
Whatever your reason for avoiding chick flicks
just accept the fact that it does not make you less
of a man by viewing a movie. Know that real men are
comfortable with their emotions and have no
difficulty expressing them. And last but not least
it’s ok to cry.
Ponder on this for a while and let me know what
you think. In the meantime I’ve got a hot date
with my wife to watch a chick flick. If I’m
lucky, I might get that opportunity to accidentally
let my hand touch her breast. I’m so
excited!
See you at the movies!
©2010, Michael
Taylor
* * *
Michael
Taylor is a dreamer, revolutionary, an
entrepreneur, author (A New
Conversatoin with
Men), personal
development coach and motivational speaker who has
dedicated his life to empowering men (and women) to
reach their full potential. He does not consider
himself to be an expert or guru. He does consider
himself to be extremely knowledgeable in the field
of personal growth and development. The fact is, he
is an ordinary guy that made a commitment to live
an extraordinary life and he wants to challenge you
to do the same. E-Mail
or www.anewconversationwithmen.com
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