A New
with Men

Why are men so uncomfortable watching “Chick Flicks”?

For as long as I can remember I have always loved movies. As I reflect back over my teenage years some of my greatest memories include going to the movies. Of course back then my interest wasn’t always focused on the movie. In most cases I was more interested in using the movie as a way to get my date in a dark quiet place. If I were really lucky, I might even get a chance to “accidentally” touch her breast as I attempted to put my arm around her. Those were the good old days.

Now that I am happily married and do not have to accidentally touch my wife’s breast, (another good reason to be happily married) I can really focus my attention on the movies and their content. As I have grown older and become more enlightened I have come to the conclusion that movies are really metaphors for life and if we watch them with an open heart and an open mind they can assist us in our emotional and spiritual growth.

Steven Simon (author and producer of Somewhere in Time and What Dreams May Come) really encapsulates how I feel about movies when he writes, “Movies are the most electrifying communications medium ever devised and the natural conduit of inspiring ourselves to look into the eternal issues of who we are and why we are here.”

Now I’m sure most people reading this may not have such a serious definition of what movies mean, but to me that sums it up. Movies can inspire us and help us discover who we are and why we are here.

I love all genres of movies, Sci-fi, Action, Drama, Comedy you name them I love them. Like most guys I have a passion for action films. I enjoy the special effects and explosions and of course the ass-kicking martial arts films. I remember watching Bruce Lee in Enter The Dragon and being so mesmerized by his martial arts. His body was like poetry in motion and the fact that he was able to fight off 10-20 guys at a time definitely made him a hero in my eyes. As a matter of fact I think I still have a knot on my head from trying to emulate his moves with my homemade nun-chucks. One thing that I like about my wife is that she also loves martial art films. She told me that if I had not married her she was going to marry Jet Li the kung-fu fighting ass-kicking king of cinema. Good thing I got there before he did.

Now I’m sure most guys may not admit to this but I also love animated movies. I love them so much that I do not even have to pretend to take my kids to watch them. Of course my kids are grown up now so I could not use them as an excuse even if I wanted to, but the truth is I have absolutely no problem going to the theater and sitting through an animated feature all by myself. There are two reasons that I enjoy animated films. First of all it keeps me in touch with my inner child and the feelings of joy that comes from that connection. Secondly, I really love computer animation and watching how technology continues to evolve and how realistic the animation looks. In my opinion computer animation is an art form. It is a beautiful creative expression that really moves me.

And now we get to the real reason I wrote this article. You see I have a confession to make. I am not embarrassed or ashamed of this and I do not feel like less of a man by saying this. Are you ready for the confession? Here it is. I love CHICK FLICKS!

That’s right I love them. Of course the appropriate term for the genre is romantic movies so I will use that term as I share why I enjoy them so much.

I must be honest and tell you that I have not always enjoyed romantic movies. Like most men they would make me extremely uncomfortable because I did not know how to express my feelings as I watched them. If ever I felt emotional I would repress the feelings and not allow my self to experience the appropriate emotion. Like most men I was unable to be that open and vulnerable so I would deflect the emotion with some unconscious attempt to not appear too sensitive. My defense mechanism of choice was laughter. If ever I would become overwhelmed with sadness I would crack a joke to deflect the feeling. If I were overcome with joy and happiness I would simply laugh in an inauthentic manner to keep from feeling the true joy. Whenever I feel deep joy I usually cry and that was a huge blow to my masculine ego so I never allowed that to happen. So rather than expose myself to the possibility of being emotional I used to avoid romantic movies like I avoid rectal exams.

But now things are different. As a result of my healing and inner work I am able to experience movies at a deep emotional level. I can now allow myself the freedom to simply experience whatever emotion I’m feeling and then express whatever feeling I’m having spontaneously and authentically. It amazes me how much of the movies I used to miss because I did not allow myself to feel and experience the movie. Now that I am open to all of my emotions it simply makes the movie going experience more enjoyable.

This is just one of many benefits of doing inner work and connecting to your emotions. Movies have more meaning; your sense of beauty is heightened, relationships are more rewarding and fulfilling, your spirituality is deeper and more connected and your sense of self is elevated.

So if you happen to be one of those guys’ that’s afraid of watching chick flicks ask yourself these questions;

  • Are you uncomfortable expressing your emotions?
  • Are you afraid that you might not be able to hold back the tears of sadness or joy?
  • Are you so insecure in your masculinity that you simply refuse to even consider checking out a chick flick?
  • Are you afraid of being called a punk, wimp or sissy?

Whatever your reason for avoiding chick flicks just accept the fact that it does not make you less of a man by viewing a movie. Know that real men are comfortable with their emotions and have no difficulty expressing them. And last but not least it’s ok to cry.

Ponder on this for a while and let me know what you think. In the meantime I’ve got a hot date with my wife to watch a chick flick. If I’m lucky, I might get that opportunity to accidentally let my hand touch her breast. I’m so excited!

See you at the movies!

©2010, Michael Taylor

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Michael Taylor is a dreamer, revolutionary, an entrepreneur, author (A New Conversatoin with Men), personal development coach and motivational speaker who has dedicated his life to empowering men (and women) to reach their full potential. He does not consider himself to be an expert or guru. He does consider himself to be extremely knowledgeable in the field of personal growth and development. The fact is, he is an ordinary guy that made a commitment to live an extraordinary life and he wants to challenge you to do the same. E-Mail or www.anewconversationwithmen.com

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