A New
with Men

Living with joy!

After I completed a seminar, a gentleman who apparently disagreed with most of what I had said approached me. I could tell by the look on his face that he was obviously unhappy. The topic of discussion was joy and I knew that this man could not relate to the topic. As he approached me I knew that I would practice what I preached by being friendly and courteous to him.

“Hello” I said.

“Hello, I was listening to your topic and I have to disagree with what you said”. Stated the angry looking man.

“What part of the speech did you disagree with?”

“Most of it actually. I don’t think men are supposed to be joyful. Not only are they not supposed to be joyful I do not think that they are supposed to smile so much. I don’t trust a man that smiles so much”.

“What is it about a smiling man that you don’t trust?”

“I’m not exactly sure but I know that men who smile so much are usually up to no good. My daddy told me to always look out for men who smile all the time”.

“What if your daddy was wrong? What if there are men who smile a lot and are also trustworthy? What if you were one of those men?” “Do you think it’s possible for you to be happy and smile every now and then?

“I really don’t have any reason to smile. Life is tough and I think that it’s important to be prepared for the worst. That’s why I keep my feelings to myself and not act like a sissy by smiling”.

“So you think that smiling makes you less of man”?

“To some degree I do”.

“What if you’re wrong? What if you could smile and be joyful and still maintain your masculinity?"

“I don’t think that’s possible but I’m sure I’m not going to change your point of view. I just wanted to express my opinion. I appreciate you listening. Have a nice day”!

As the angry man walked away I felt a little sorry for him. I knew there was a part of him that really wanted to be happy but I also recognized that he did not have the emotional tools to access his joy. I wanted to embrace him and let him know that he could find his joy if he really wanted to but I knew that he would not have been receptive to any type of embrace or physical contact.

Our conversation confirmed the need for men to create a new dialog about what it means to be a man in today’s ever-changing world. Amazingly, there are millions of men who feel exactly as the angry man felt. They have bought into the illusion that feeling and expressing joy is for women and that somehow it makes us less than men if we express our positive emotions. The truth of the matter is, expressing our emotions is our birthright. It isn’t feminine to express emotions and it does not make you a “sissy”. It takes a lot of courage to be emotionally open and honest in our current paradigm of masculinity. Our country is paying a terrible price for this antiquated way of thinking and behaving and the time has come to create a new paradigm of masculinity. In this new paradigm we learn to connect to our joy and our happiness. We give ourselves permission to be creative and artistic without fear of being labeled “gay” or “feminine”. We would also recognize that men who smile all the time could be trustworthy and that smiling has lots of health benefits in addition to making you feel good.

So the next time you see a man smiling don’t accuse him of being weak or too sensitive. Recognize that he just might be filled with joy and the only way that he can release it is to smile and be happy. If you are really courageous walk up to him with a smile on your face and say, “It’s really nice to meet a man that is living with joy. I know exactly how you feel and that is why I have this humongous smile on my face. I am living with joy and I absolutely love it!”

©2009, Michael Taylor

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Michael Taylor is a dreamer, revolutionary, an entrepreneur, author (A New Conversatoin with Men), personal development coach and motivational speaker who has dedicated his life to empowering men (and women) to reach their full potential. He does not consider himself to be an expert or guru. He does consider himself to be extremely knowledgeable in the field of personal growth and development. The fact is, he is an ordinary guy that made a commitment to live an extraordinary life and he wants to challenge you to do the same. E-Mail or www.anewconversationwithmen.com

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