A New
with Men

I Know I Love My Wife!

Recently I went to see Chris Rocks new movie I Think I Love My Wife. The movie is about a guy who has a beautiful wife, 2 adorable kids a great job and a nice house. By societies standards he is a pretty successful guy. On the surface he looks like he has it all together, but like too many men, he is unhappy and unfulfilled. Not only is he unfulfilled; he is absolutely bored to death. He and his wife are having marital problems, which results in them not having sex. He has a very sexy and seductive female friend who is continuously trying to seduce him which makes matters even worse. To top it all off he has begun asking the question that is the precursor to most divorces and failed relationships, “Would I be happier if I were single again?”

Whenever a man gets to this question it is usually the beginning of the end. Either the relationship will end or the relationship will have to change. This question means that there are unresolved issues that have not been addressed and the man is preparing himself for either one of two things,

  • He is already considering leaving the relationship or having an affair.
  • He wants to fix it. He is really committed to the relationship and wants it to work but does not know how to improve or repair it.

As the movie progresses the man is faced with some very difficult choices. Ultimately he finds the answer to his question and then chooses a path that works best for him. I don’t want to give the plot away but the movie made me start thinking and asking questions.

For example: Why is it that when we get married our relationships become more and more difficult? Why do most people have less sex after they get married? Why do we even get married in the first place? Isn’t it more fun to be single? Why do we say we’re in love, get married and then fall out of love? And last but not least, how do we know when we are truly in love? What exactly is love any way?

These are questions that I have been asking myself for the past twenty years. And although I do not claim to have all the answers I have been able to answer them for myself and as a result I now have a marriage that really works for me. Although my marriage may not be perfect, it is perfect in it’s imperfection and I will admit that I absolutely love being married. I’ll take the married life over the single life any day.

So I wanted to take this opportunity and share Michael Taylor’s five ways to know if you really love your wife or spouse or girlfriend. These are five ways that I confirm that I love my wife and that I am happily married. Try them out and see if they work for you.

  • If you truly love your wife you can be completely honest with her about how you really feel. This means that you can tell her when you are angry or you can tell her when you are sad or afraid. If you really do not like those new shoes she bought you can tactfully be honest and say you do not like them. You can express your self openly and honestly when things aren’t going well in your life as well as when they are going well. In other words you can truly communicate with each other.
  • If you truly love your wife whenever something significant occurs in your life she is the first person that you want to tell. Whether it’s a new promotion or a devastating car wreck she is the first person that pops into your mind. You know that you can count on her to be there for you through thick or thin and you accept her support in all ways.
  • If you truly love your wife even when she gets on your last nerve and you’re mad as hell you still know that this is the woman that you want to spend the rest of your life with. You never think about leaving and you know that you can work through anything. As the saying goes, “this too shall pass” and you recognize this divine truth. You recognize the difference between who she is and what she does and you can be angry temporarily at what she does, but you are never angry with who she really is. You understand that relationships are perfect in their imperfection and you accept her imperfections as well as your own.
  • If you truly love your wife then you commit to spending quality time with them. This does not mean that you have to take them out or spend any money on them. It simply means that you give them your undivided attention and share in their interests some times. It’s amazing how the most important relationship in our lives is often neglected and then we wonder why we end up in divorce court. If you really love your wife why wouldn’t you want to be with her?
  • If you really and truly love your mate you are never tempted to stray even if the woman who may be tempting you looks better and has a better body than your wife. There will always be someone better looking than your mate. If you truly love someone it is about more than their physical beauty it should also be about their inner beauty and when you connect with that, your love will truly flourish. True love is more than just a feeling. It is a commitment and an action that says that you have dedicated your life to this person and this person only. Your commitment is to be faithful. Isn’t that the reason you married her in the first place? You must realize that a temporary attraction is OK as long as you do not allow yourself to act on that momentary attraction. If you really love your mate then there is no way you could ever cheat on them because you would be able to feel the hurt and devastation that betrayal causes and you would never want your wife to feel that terrible pain. Some men rationalize (which means they tell rational lies to themselves) that as long as they provide for their families it’s ok to be unfaithful. The truth is that they may love their wives on the surface but they are definitely not in love with them. That is the distinction that most men really struggle with.

These are my five keys to knowing if you truly are in love with your wife. What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? Drop me an email and let me hear your comments.

©2009, Michael Taylor

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Michael Taylor is a dreamer, revolutionary, an entrepreneur, author (A New Conversatoin with Men), personal development coach and motivational speaker who has dedicated his life to empowering men (and women) to reach their full potential. He does not consider himself to be an expert or guru. He does consider himself to be extremely knowledgeable in the field of personal growth and development. The fact is, he is an ordinary guy that made a commitment to live an extraordinary life and he wants to challenge you to do the same. E-Mail or www.anewconversationwithmen.com

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