Menstuff® has compiled the following information on when some
men like bad girls.
The allure of the bad girl
All of which begs the question: Why did I a so-called relationship expert stick with the Wicked Witch of the Midwest for more than a week? For that matter, why have virtually all my male friends dated or, in two ugly cases, gotten engaged to a girl who ultimately walked all over them while wearing stiletto heels? Lets take a closer look.
The call of the caveman
Some would say that this scenario of men running after difficult women harks back to the dawn of prehistoryand a guys ingrained need to prove his hunting and gathering talents. Says Liz Kelly, author of Smart Man Hunting, Men are naturally drawn to high-maintenance divas because [men] like to fix problems. Its a caveman kind of thing. A demanding diva gives a man ample opportunity to prove his ability to rise to a challenge. (That mightve been partly the case with me and the Witch. Hey, I give dating advice for a living; all I do is fix problems.)
The go for the gold impulse
Lets admit it, women who act like theyre hot stuff are often perceived as hot stuffand more desirable than your average female. Dr. Gilda Carle, author of Dont Bet On The Prince, feels that we sometimes get blinded and blindsided by sheer attitude. Diva girls feel good about themselves. Sometimes even if theyre not drop-dead gorgeous, they carry themselves like they are. These It Girls project the message that theyre worth any trouble a guy must go through to meet them or be with them. And guys fall all over themselves to prove theyre worthy of these divas company.
Confusing bad girls with strong women
Heres another reason why nice guys often cant resist the allure of the demanding bad girl: The guy mistakes [a divas] endless whining, unrealistic demands, and wild mood swings for characteristics of a strong-willed, independent woman who knows what she wants. In reality, shes just a big brat, says Jessica Rozler, co-author of The Hookup Handbook.
Whats more, Kelly feels that men are more likely to inflict divas upon themselves because of their upbringing. If a mans mother is a diva, he is also more likely to be attracted to a demanding woman because he finds it normal to jump when asked.
The assumption that great sex is in the offing Heres another reason that women who act superior may win a mans attention: Maybe the guy has watched too many movies like Fatal Attraction OK, that's a bad example, but you get my point and thinks that if a woman is high-maintenance, then shell be crazy in bed. Even if this is true, he cant forget that she could just be plain crazy. Agrees Kelly, A guy can easily get seduced and trapped by a demanding diva as long as they are having great sex. (Ahem, this belief may have factored into my dating the Wicked One as long as I did )
How to resist this womans siren call
OK, now the job is to put the observations above into action. If you find yourself attracted to or dating one of these demanding women, ask yourself the following questions:
If you answer these questions truthfully, you should have your answer about whether your dating a challenging woman is really worth it.
Source: By Alan Goldsher is a Chicago-based writer, advice columnist, and author of Jam, Hard Bop Academy, The Record Haus and the upcoming Modest Mouse: A Pretty Good Read msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=5708&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6>1=8333