What's a Cougar

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Age Difference: 14 years

Cougar
An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.

That cougar I met last night, showed me shit I didn't know existed, I'm goin back for more.

2. Cougar 1915 up, 585 down

(see also hunt, prowl, corner, pounce). Noun. A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities)waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. "Man is cougar's number one prey"

Millions of them. More famously, Demi and Ashton, Naomi Watts and Heath Ledger, Joan Collins and her hubby, Cameron and Justin, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins

cougar 1146 up, 257 down

An attractive woman in her 30's or 40's who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc. She will not play the usual B.S. games that women in their early twenties participate in. End state, she will be going for the kill, just like you. Associated with milfs

I bagged a cougar last night at the club.

Cougar 1309 up, 569 down

A woman in her sexual prime who prefers to hunt rather than be hunted. A cougar's victims are usually under 25, as cougars prefer to mate with men who still have hair. Cougars generally feed and then continue hunting, as they enjoy role reversal.

Cougar 552 up, 178 down

A Cougar is a female, usually between thirty and fifty years-old, who enjoys the sexual company of younger men.

 

Cougars are only usually interested in men under the age of twenty-five. Also, Cougars are non-committal, choosing to move from mate to mate without ever settling down. It is not uncommon for the same Cougar to attack (sleep with) many different men in the same group of friends. Furthermore, Cougars are older and more practiced in the ways of snaring a mate so they will rarely broadcast their intentions to sleep with you until you are already in her Jetta, headed for the condo she just bought. It is this elusive behavior that earns her the name “Cougar.”

"Hey Jerry, I'm about to go buy this girl a drink, want to come along? I think she has a friend next to her"

 

"Naw, theres a cougar in the corner that seems to be stalking me, I'm going to hold out for her"

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You can’t go anywhere these days without someone talking about cougar women. And it’s a fabulous thing that women who are over 40 are finally getting the attention they deserve. Today’s “real cougar” is a confident, beautiful, sexy and financially independent woman. She understands how important it is to take control of all aspects of her life. A real cougar is a woman of style and of grace. She is a leader who never apologizes for being successful — she has worked hard for everything she has received and appreciates it all.

 

Too often the term cougar is used in a negative way that is unflattering to all women. It’s the image of an older, unhappy woman chasing after younger men. Nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, we are certainly attracting younger men, but they are the ones doing the chasing. The younger man is recognizing just how much we have to offer.

 

To fully appreciate what I mean, you have to fully appreciate the psyche of this wonderful species of womanhood.

The definition of the real cougar doesn’t really have anything to do with who she sleeps with. A real cougar can be either married or single. She can be a businesswoman, a stay-at-home wife or mother. She might be divorced or she might be a woman who has never walked down the aisle. But whatever her path, the real cougar has chosen it for herself. She is not defined by a band on her finger. She will not be codified by society’s passé ideas about what makes a woman valid and vibrant.

 

Age doesn’t need to play a big part in who you decide to sleep with, date or even marry. A real cougar is defined by her attitude about life and she is the woman we should all aspire to be. She is the smart leader, a woman who can shape a generation. She’s iconic. Think Anna Wintour or Demi Moore. Think ageless beauty.

 

Just for fun, start paying attention to some of the women who are your neighbors, co-workers or friends. You are going to realize that the real cougar is someone you’ve always known. Maybe the real cougar is you. But in case you’re not quite there yet, here are five things you should consider in order to wake up that sexy cat inside of you.

 

Age is just a number. That’s the most important thing. These women are redefining what aging looks like. Because they eat well, exercise and do everything necessary to maintain a healthy balance in their life, 40, 50 or 60 never looked so good.

 

Attract what you want by being what you want. They know that like attracts like, so these women possess the qualities they are looking for in others. That’s the core of being a real cougar — creating your own reality.

 

Embrace happiness. With all the stress and pressure in today’s world, what real cougars understand is that happiness is a choice and the choice is always theirs.

 

Don’t be guided by fear. Even when a situation seems daunting or unfamiliar, they take a deep breath, make a plan and move ahead. Nothing is worse for a real cougar than feeling stuck. They know that to get what they want they have to take calculated risks. But, needless to say, real cougars will do everything they can to put the odds in their favor.

 

Don’t hand over your sexuality or sensuality with your 40th or 50th birthday. Real cougars know that sex keeps getting better as they get older. Sure, as hormone levels change, they might need a little boost, but so what? It’s a myth that after 50 a woman has to trade her black lace lingerie for granny panties. A real cougar is comfortable in her own body and it’s this confidence that allows them to explore all areas of their sexuality. Real cougars make love with the lights on.

So, here’s the bottom line: Achieving the rank of “real cougar” is a privilege, not an embarrassment. Don’t ever let age stop you from getting everything you want. You deserve it all.

 

To learn more about the “real cougar” woman, please visit Linda Franklin on her Web site and blog, www.highyieldliving.com

 

The definition of the real cougar doesn’t really have anything to do with who she sleeps with. A real cougar can be either married or single. She can be a businesswoman, a stay-at-home wife or mother. She might be divorced or she might be a woman who has never walked down the aisle. But whatever her path, the real cougar has chosen it for herself. She is not defined by a band on her finger. She will not be codified by society’s passé ideas about what makes a woman valid and vibrant.

 

Age doesn’t need to play a big part in who you decide to sleep with, date or even marry. A real cougar is defined by her attitude about life and she is the woman we should all aspire to be. She is the smart leader, a woman who can shape a generation. She’s iconic. Think Anna Wintour or Demi Moore. Think ageless beauty.

 

Just for fun, start paying attention to some of the women who are your neighbors, co-workers or friends. You are going to realize that the real cougar is someone you’ve always known. Maybe the real cougar is you. But in case you’re not quite there yet, here are five things you should consider in order to wake up that sexy cat inside of you.

 

Age is just a number. That’s the most important thing. These women are redefining what aging looks like. Because they eat well, exercise and do everything necessary to maintain a healthy balance in their life, 40, 50 or 60 never looked so good.

 

Attract what you want by being what you want. They know that like attracts like, so these women possess the qualities they are looking for in others. That’s the core of being a real cougar — creating your own reality.

 

Embrace happiness. With all the stress and pressure in today’s world, what real cougars understand is that happiness is a choice and the choice is always theirs.

 

Don’t be guided by fear. Even when a situation seems daunting or unfamiliar, they take a deep breath, make a plan and move ahead. Nothing is worse for a real cougar than feeling stuck. They know that to get what they want they have to take calculated risks. But, needless to say, real cougars will do everything they can to put the odds in their favor.

 

Don’t hand over your sexuality or sensuality with your 40th or 50th birthday. Real cougars know that sex keeps getting better as they get older. Sure, as hormone levels change, they might need a little boost, but so what? It’s a myth that after 50 a woman has to trade her black lace lingerie for granny panties. A real cougar is comfortable in her own body and it’s this confidence that allows them to explore all areas of their sexuality. Real cougars make love with the lights on.

So, here’s the bottom line: Achieving the rank of “real cougar” is a privilege, not an embarrassment. Don’t ever let age stop you from getting everything you want. You deserve it all.

 

To learn more about the “real cougar” woman, please visit Linda Franklin on her Web site and blog, www.highyieldliving.com

 

The definition of the real cougar doesn’t really have anything to do with who she sleeps with. A real cougar can be either married or single. She can be a businesswoman, a stay-at-home wife or mother. She might be divorced or she might be a woman who has never walked down the aisle. But whatever her path, the real cougar has chosen it for herself. She is not defined by a band on her finger. She will not be codified by society’s passé ideas about what makes a woman valid and vibrant.

 

Age doesn’t need to play a big part in who you decide to sleep with, date or even marry. A real cougar is defined by her attitude about life and she is the woman we should all aspire to be. She is the smart leader, a woman who can shape a generation. She’s iconic. Think Anna Wintour or Demi Moore. Think ageless beauty.

 

Just for fun, start paying attention to some of the women who are your neighbors, co-workers or friends. You are going to realize that the real cougar is someone you’ve always known. Maybe the real cougar is you. But in case you’re not quite there yet, here are five things you should consider in order to wake up that sexy cat inside of you.

 

Age is just a number. That’s the most important thing. These women are redefining what aging looks like. Because they eat well, exercise and do everything necessary to maintain a healthy balance in their life, 40, 50 or 60 never looked so good.

 

Attract what you want by being what you want. They know that like attracts like, so these women possess the qualities they are looking for in others. That’s the core of being a real cougar — creating your own reality.

 

Embrace happiness. With all the stress and pressure in today’s world, what real cougars understand is that happiness is a choice and the choice is always theirs.

 

Don’t be guided by fear. Even when a situation seems daunting or unfamiliar, they take a deep breath, make a plan and move ahead. Nothing is worse for a real cougar than feeling stuck. They know that to get what they want they have to take calculated risks. But, needless to say, real cougars will do everything they can to put the odds in their favor.

 

Don’t hand over your sexuality or sensuality with your 40th or 50th birthday. Real cougars know that sex keeps getting better as they get older. Sure, as hormone levels change, they might need a little boost, but so what? It’s a myth that after 50 a woman has to trade her black lace lingerie for granny panties. A real cougar is comfortable in her own body and it’s this confidence that allows them to explore all areas of their sexuality. Real cougars make love with the lights on.

So, here’s the bottom line: Achieving the rank of “real cougar” is a privilege, not an embarrassment. Don’t ever let age stop you from getting everything you want. You deserve it all.

 

To learn more about the “real cougar” woman, please visit Linda Franklin on her Web site and blog, www.highyieldliving.com

Here’s the list of “Cougars We Love”:

 

Cleopatra and her two younger brothers/husbands (both named Ptolemy) in the years before her conquests of Julius Caesar and Mark Antony

Queen Elizabeth I, 48, and her one-time fiancé, François, Duke of Anjou, 22

Mrs. Robinson, mid-40s, and Benjamin Braddock, age 21, in the The Graduate

Joan Collins, ageless (er, 75), and husband Percy Gibson, 32 years her junior

Mary Tyler Moore, 71, and husband, Dr. Robert Levine, 54 (married since 1983)

Madonna, 49, and husband Guy Ritchie, 39.

Kim Cattrall in Sex and the City as uber-cougar Samantha Jones, 50, and Smith Jerrod, 30-something (then we have Kim Cattrall, 51, in life imitating art with her real-life beau, chef Alan Wyse, 28, pictured)

Demi Moore, 45, and husband Ashton Kutcher, 30

Susan Sarandon, 62, and Tim Robbins, 50

Halle Berry, 41, and partner Gabriel Aubry, 31

Jennifer Aniston, 39, and John Mayer, 30

As Rebecca Traister points out in her recent article in Slate.com called, “Hot Cougar Sex!”, Demi Moore didn’t invent this type of relationship. The older woman - younger man relationship has been around for decades, even if the term “Cougar” hasn’t been.

 

This type of relationship was made famous in the late 1960’s by the classic movie, The Graduate. The innocent Benjamin Braddock played by Dustin Hoffman is lured into an affair with the attractive and married Mrs. Robinson, played by Anne Brancroft.

 

In the 1970’s, millions of young boys stared at posters on their bedroom walls featuring older women such as Farrah Fawcett and Cheryl Tiegs. Interestingly, both of these women starred in Mercury Cougar car commercials, so I can’t help but wonder if this wasn’t about the time that the word “Cougar” took on the meaning of an attractive older woman.

 

We saw more “Cougars” in the 1980’s. In the 1986 hit, Top Gun, Tom Cruise played a young Navy pilot who falls for his beautiful older instructor at U.S. Navy Fighter Weapons School, “Charlie”, played by Kelly McGillis. In another 1980’s flick, Bull Durham, Susanne Sarandon’s character had a relationship with a younger baseball player played by Tim Robbins. The couple fell in love on set, and later Sarandon married Robbins, who is 12 years her junior.

 

And of course, the word once used mainly by men took off after Demi Moore’s marriage to Ashton Kutcher in 2005. There are now even spin-off terms like “puma”. As Ms. Traister mentions in her article, “34-year-old Drew Barrymore…has cheerily referred to herself as a “pre-cougar” or “puma” because she’s dated men a couple of years younger than her.”

 

There are reality TV shows, books, and websites centered around the Cougar. Whether you see our nation’s Cougar obsession as liberating, dehumanizing, or simply women’s turn at a ”midlife crisis”, I think you’ll enjoy Rebecca Traister’s article on Slate.com.

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The 44-year-old actress has signed on to host a one-hour reality show for TV Land called 'The Cougar' that will show an "accomplished, beautiful and sexy woman" of a certain age as she looks for love from a pool of eligible younger men. "I'm so excited to be the guide for 'The Cougar's' quest for love," said Fox. "This show will prove to be empowering and enlightening for women everywhere. Plus, 20 hot guys gathered under one roof doesn't hurt!"

I think we all remember the fiasco called a relationship she had with 50 that ended abruptly with her famous phrase, "You can put that where, back there!"

See cougar7.jpg

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Anatomy of a cougar

Six things that say, "You're a cougar."

Troy L. Smith

Metromix

May 22, 2009

 

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Stacey Anderson, 40, stars in TV Land’s "The Cougar," a reality show in which a bunch of 20-something guys compete for her affections. (Credit: www.facebook.com) The Hairdo

A cougar’s hair is often soft, full of color and in with the latest trends (hey, older women watch The Hills, too). In fact, a cougar’s hair may make her appear as though she’s not a cougar at all. That’s when a cub is primed for the taking. The hair draws him in close, and by the time he realizes she’s a cougar, the art of seduction is in full effect.

 

The Claws

Long, sharp and colorful. A cougar’s nails are designed for hooking a young cub (and sometimes leaving marks). Some younger women might call them tacky, but to men it’s a sign of aggression and ferocity in an older woman, which is sexy. And long nails might come in handy during a cat fight. Rawr!

 

The Cleavage

As the saying goes, “If you see them bounce, she’s ready to pounce.” A cougar knows that a guy’s eyes go straight to one area of a woman’s body. So tucked behind that elegant blazer or tight blouse is the kind of bait men can rarely resist. And as is often the case (even if it’s sometimes the result of a push-up bra), they’re real and they’re spectacular.

 

The Brain

When hunting, a cougar is confident, and she refuses to go back to the nest empty-handed. But you’ve got to step up your game, boys. Cheesy pickup lines won’t work. If you can’t carry on a conversation, you’ll be demoted to boy toy. Which is fine, if that’s your sort of thing.

 

The Body

Cougars come in all shapes and sizes, which is great. But most cougars are very agile, aided by a fit body that’s the result of a regular routine she began at the gym shortly after her last divorce to show her ex what he’s missing. Look at Jen nifer Aniston. After Brad Pitt dumped her, she never looked better. It got John Mayer’s attention.

 

The Pocketbook

Don’t let some of the women on Bravo’s Housewives shows fool you. There are different names for sexy, older women who are all about the money. Cougars are independent. They’re used to handling things on their own and are financially independent, so you should be, too. A cougar likely has already raised her kids and she doesn’t want another one.

 

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I am the author of the best-selling book Cougar, A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men, a fun, entertaining and informative read about older women who prefer to date younger men. You can find out more and purchase the book by clicking on the sidebar link entitled Cougar.

I'm also a well-known relationships expert, journalist, speaker and radio and television personality across Canada and the U.S.

 

and the host of the LIVE, hour-long, weekly show Dear Valerie, every Tuesday at 2 p.m.on Rogers TV.

The across-Ontario show is focussed totally on helping anyone instantly with relationship issues, and those having problems can call-in during the hour for personal, honest and realistic advice on any aspect of life, love, sex, marriage, dating and family relationships.

Call 1-800-968-7836 or e-mail dearvalerie@rogerstv and I can help!

Recent television appearances include NBC's Today Show, The Montel Williams Show, CBS, NBC, CBC, Comcast, The Dr. Phil Show, ABC's PrimeTime Live, Geraldo-at-Large, and CNBC's The Big Idea. I was also a recent guest on Oprah Radio, XM Satellite Radio and Montel Williams Radio.

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an Australian kiss is “like a French kiss but down under”).

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Cougar 101

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Cougar Barbie

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