Menstuff® has information on Pollyamory.
Why Polyamory (sadly) can't be for Everyone
While the psychedelic drugs and hippie communes of the '60s have mostly faded away, one remnant of the free-love era, polyamory, lives on. The ageless concept mostly happens in the underground world of chat rooms and swingers' clubs, but mass media pops in from time to time, in the form of shows like "Swingtown" and a recent article in the New York Times.
Polyamory means "many loves" and is vaguely defined as consensual romantic relationships between multiple people. It hinges on the notion of building relationships, not promoting promiscuity. Seeing other people isn't considered cheating, because everyone's in the know.
Many polyamorists believe that monogamy is just not a natural state of being. Humans are one of the few species that even attempt it (we're in the company of beavers and bats), and a lot of the time we fail miserably. About half of us cheat at some point in our lives, according to an MSNBC survey, and 11 to 19 percent of marrieds have cheated on their current spouse, according to an AOL survey.
But before you rush home to release your boyfriend from your death grip, realize that polyamory is not just a sexy way to spice things up or to cure relationship ruts. "It is vital that you do some soul-searching of your own," says Jenny Block on Tango, where she writes about her polyamorous love life. Although an open relationship came easily to her, her husband has struggled with some aspects of the alternative lifestyle.
While polyamory may be natural, so is jealousy, and plenty of people who like the idea find it's way too complicated in reality. If you berate your man for glancing at another girl in a bar, you most likely will not be okay with him hopping into bed with her. And if you're looking to keep a guy by agreeing to behavior you don't believe in, you're bound to get hurt ... fast.
However, if you read this and think, "Hey, sharing is caring!" check out Practical Polyamory or Polyamory Society for more information.
Tell us! Would you try (or have you already tried) an
open relationship? What would you tell a friend if she said
she was in a polyamorous relationship?
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