Starting a Men's Group

Menstuff® believes that if you want a longer, happier life, you'll have a better chance if you're in a men's group. And, if you're in one, the information here will tell you how to insure that it lasts. See also books intimacy, affirmations.

While isolation is the Number 1 problem for men today, the Number 1 phobia is "homophobia" (the fear of same sex closeness - being thought gay or of being gay) which intensifies men's isolation and increases their reliance on women for intimacy. This comes at a time when many women are tired of this reliance and at a time when there are so many opportunities for men to develop strong, positive, non-sexual bonds with other men.

It has also been noted that the average woman has six close friends that they can tell everything to, all women. The average man has one close friend, at best, that he can tell everything to, also a woman, usually his partner. If and when problems come up in that relationship, the man is left without someone to confide in - someone who often ends up on the other side of the table. This is one of the major reasons men die sooner than women, men commit suicide at four times the rate of women and more men become depressed or suffer illness in divorce or the death of a spouse than do women. Older men who are not with a woman, are unhappier and die sooner versus women in the same situation. It is my, and others, contention that this is cultural, not natural, and that we can change, live longer, happier, healthier lives, if we develop that close, intimate, non-sexual relationship with other men.

Because of the many events and gatherings available to men today, through local men's centers, therapists and churches, most communities have regular men's groups and men's 12-step groups going. However, for those who may want to start their own group, but don't know where to begin, here are several publications on the subject. (These web pages list hundreds of men's groups around the country, some facilitated, some peer led, some leaderless.)

See Books

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