The Menstuff® library lists pertinent books on Intimacy. See also books on feelings, homophobia, men's groups, relationships and issues on feelings, homophobia, men's groups, and starting and keeping a men's group going. Photo in upper left hand corner is The Creation of Adam by Michelangelo.
Anapol, Deborah, Polyamory The New Love
Without Limits: Secrets of sustainable intimate
relationshps. What is polyamory? Can marriage and
unconditional love co-exist? How do you cope with
jealousy? Is polyamory immoral? Can you really
love two or more people at a time? What about sexually
transmitted diseases? What's wrong with serial
monogamy? Does polyamory harm children? Find the answers to
all these question and more. IntiNet Resource Center,
415.507.1738, 1997, pad@well.com,
ISBN 1-880789-08-6 Buy
this book!
Brooks, Gary, Centerfold Syndrome: How men can
overcome objectification & achieve intimacy with women.
It's no secret that millions of men read magazines like
Playboy and Penthouse and lust after bikini-clad
models. After all, guys will be guys, and what's the
harm? Plenty! claims the author of this ground-breaking
book that shows how many so-called normal male attitudes toward
sex are actually harmful and destructive. He identifies the five
principal symptoms of this pervasive disorder: voyeurism (I
can't stop watching gorgeous women), objectification (obsessive
fetishism over body parts that interferes with the ability to have
relationships with an actual person; the need for validation
(women have great power to make or break my sense of masculinity),
trophyism (Beautiful women are collectibles that show the world
who a man is) and the fear of intimacy (I'm desperately lonely but
deeply fearful of getting too close.) Here is the first candid
analysis of how boys are conditioned to pursue airbrushed photo
fantasies, and how they're brought up to depend upon and yet fear
the perceived power women hold over them as gatekeepers to a
previous commodity - their objectified bodies! And even more
importantly how this syndrome prevents true emotional intimacy
between men and women. But he also offers a way to overcome this
destructive malady. Using actual case histories and transcripts
from groups he has led over many years, he documents how a variety
of men from different backgrounds have struggled to escape the
depersonalization, the isolation and the sense of frustration and
powerlessness in this syndrome. Both men and women will appreciate
the candor in this book. He offers specifis guildelines and
practical plans of action for all of us in our various roles - as
friends, lovers, partners, husbands, wives, parents, responsbile
citizens - in an era of changing gender relations. Jossey-Bass,
1995 ISBN 0-7879-0104-0 Buy
this book!
Cane, William, The Art of
Hugging: The world-famous kissing coach offers
inspiration and advice on why, where and how to hug. Whether
it's a simple squeeze between old friends, a heartfelt bear hug
for a child, or the tentative first embrace of love, there's much
more to hugging than most people realize. Here, lovers, friends
and family will find all the insights they need to add tenderness,
technical know-how, and variety to every conceivable type of hug -
from platonic to the more-than-just-friendly. You'll learn why
hugs are good for your health and well-being. Hugging preferences
of men and women (they're not the same - men tend to be more
homophobic), how to "read" the kind of hug your lover wants. Easy
ways to become more huggable. How to ask for a hug. What are the
most romantic places and times to hug, and much, much more. St.
Martin's Griffin, 1996
DeLorenzo, Christine, Why Men Buy
Intimacy. Ladies: Think you know why men buy
intimacy? Gentlemen: Think you know why the leggy
blond sporting stilettos and a miniskirt is eyeing you up and
down? Couples: Want to learn how to obtain the sexual
intimacy you want? Come inside one of New York City's
most popular and elegant Gentlemen's Clubs. Here, the men who buy
intimacy, and the women who sell it, tell why your husband,
boyfriend, father, and brother seek nudity, pulchritude, and
fantasy away from home as well as what couples can do to develop
their intimacy. This is available as an e-book at www.whymenbuyintimacy.com.
Check it out. You might learn a thing or two. Buy
This Book!
Diamond, Jed, Looking for Love in All the Wrong
Places: Overcoming romantic & sexual addictions.
Love addiction - millions of Americans have it, yet no one will
talk about it. Now comes the startling new book that tells
not only what it is, but how it can be overcome. One in twelvee
Americans is a love addict. It affects millions of ordinary
people. It splinters families. I ruins lives. Interweaving
personal stories from many clients, the author explores why people
continue to re-create relationships that don't work - and tells
how to break the patterns that turn the search for romantic and
sexual fulfillment into an addiction. He tells how people get
"hooked on looking for love," and their desperate needs for
security and control in order to protect themselves from yet
another broken heart. He gives specific practical advice combined
with a twelve-step recovery program to help love addicts get free
of the self-destructive nature of their attachments - and finally
find the healthy love they all deserve. Including a revealing
self-test to help readers determine their own level of romantic
addiction, this is that rare work: a book that just may change
people's lives. Putnam, 1988 ISBN 0-399-13372-0 Buy
This Book!
July II, William, Understanding the Tin
Man: Why so many men avoid intimacy. The book tackles the
age-old questions, revealing what every woman wants to know about
her man, and what every man needs to know about himself. Boys,
conditioned to become emotionally closed off, all to often end up
like the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz - hollow on the
inside, and unable to cultivate honest, loving, mutually
satisfying relationships. This book presents a simple,
step-by-step program for men who want to change, and for women who
want to help their men overcome the Tin Man syndrome. You will
learn to recognize a Tin Man, understand why men really fear
intimacy, see through the tactics men use to avoid commitment and
relationships, identify the five situations in which even the most
emotionally numb man will share his feelings, and, most important,
learn how to help a Tin Man change his life. With
thought-provoking questions and self-improvement exercises for
both men and women at the end of each chapter, this book is a
powerful tonic for relationships and a much-needed voice of reason
of the battlefield of the sexes. Broadway Books, www.broadwaybooks.com
2001, ISBN 0-7679-0566-0 Buy
This Book!
Minzer, Alberto, Boys Don't Cry; Men
Do. Every man had a dream of the kind of man they would one
day become. Have you become this man? Have you ever asked
another man whether he's become who he always wanted to
be? I'm surprised to find that for so many men their earliest
dreams for themselves are just a hope for the future. We give up
our dreams too easily. Our personal growth stops. What we don't
know is that we're missing the connection of full emotional
intimacy. Many of us haven't been taught how to create that
emotional intimacy and how to distinguish it from sexual intimacy.
Without emotional intimacy and joy, men aren't fully alive. What a
tragedy that so many men are missing so much. The hope that
motivated this book is that someday, all men will be able to
reconnect with lasting intimacy and joy that they can have with
others, by reconnecting with the man they always wanted to be. The
vision is that someday our boys will grow into the men they want
to be, living out the deepest longings of their hearts. It is my
hope that this book will bring you or those around you closer to
being the man you always dreamed of becoming. This book is for men
and for everyone who cares about them. Author House, www.authorhouse.com
2006, ISBN 1-4259-2620-7 
Ornish, Dean, Love
& Survival: The scientific basis for the healing
power of intimacy, Dean Ornish This book is based on a simple
but powerful idea: our survival depends on the healing power of
love, intimacy and relationships. As individuals. As communities.
As a country. As a culture. Perhaps even as a species. While many
think this program is primarily about diet, it has probably the
most powerful and meaningful intervention - love and intimacy and
the emotional and spiritual transformation that often results. Yet
these factors are largely ignored by the medical profession, which
tends to focus primarily on the physical and mechanistic: drugs
and surgery, genes and germs, microbes and molecules. The author
argues that love and intimacy are a root of what makes us sick and
what makes us well, what causes sadness and what brings happiness,
what makes us suffer and what leads to healing. If a new drug had
the same impact, virtually every doctor in the country would be
recommending it for their patients. See what they're missing in
their narrowness. However, talking with others - eminent healers,
scientists, theologians, psychologists, therapists and authors,
each of whom provides a fascinating perspective on why love and
intimacy are such powerful determinants of health and survival.
HarperCollins www.harpercollins.com
1998 Buy
This Book!
Owen-Towle, Tom, Brother-Spirit: Men joining
together in the quest for intimacy and untimacy, Bald Eable
Mountain Press, uutom@aol.com
1991
Owen-Towle, Tom & Chris Hassett, Friendship
Chronicles: Letters betwee a gay and straight man,
Bald Eagle Mountain Press, uutom@aol.com
1994
Sanna, Lucy and Kathy Miller, How to Romance
the Woman You Love - The Way She Wants You To! Do you flirt
with your partner, court her, write her playful love
letters? Do you know what surprises will delight her,
what gifts she will cherish? Could you use some tips for
creating a romantic getaway? Perhaps a few new
techniques for keeping the world at bay while you romance the
speical woman of your life? Inside this book are powerl
strategies for creating romance every day. Based on substantial
research, this book reveals the most intimate desires of women
from across the country, helping you gain a new understanding of
romance. You can easily develop a deeper, more fulfilling
relationship with your own partner - in imaginative and often
fantastically fun ways. Romance can be real again. Prima
Publishing www.primapublishing.com
1995 ISBN 0-7615-0870-8 Buy
This Book!
Sniechowski, James,
and Judity Sherven, The New Intimacy: Discovering the
magic at the heart of your differences. When a relationship is
new, everything is brilliant and exciting. Then, as the glitter of
first attraction dims and the reality of differences between the
partners emerges, people who truly love each other too often give
up and say, "We have nothing in common," or "This can't work, it's
too hard." Rather than learn how to keep their love
alive and thriving, they use the difficulties caused by their
differences to sabotage the relationship. In truth, however, it is
the differences between people that bring them closer together.
When two people make a conscious decision to navigate the rough
waters of their differences, only then can they achieve a deep,
spiritually nourishing intimacy - richer than anything they ever
imagined possible. Drawing on case studies, contemporary culture,
and their own lives, the authors share with clarity, vision and
candor how to turn conflict and disappointment into rich
opportunities for learning, mutual growth and the bond of deepest
intimacy. Health Communications jimjude@ix.netcom.com
1997 ISBN 1-55874-511-4 Buy
This Book!
Walton, Brad, How does the Heart Know
Love. WCCO radio personality shares his personal story of
a profound transformation that followed his open heart surgery.
This book brings new and meaningful personal insights from his
emotional and spiritual transformation in learning how to deal
with a broken heart and wounded soul. For centuries, poets and
philosophers have sensed that the heart is at the center of our
lives. Even when we're not consciously communicating with others,
our physiological systems interact in subtle and surprising ways.
Did you know that the electromagnetic signal produced by your
heart is registered in the brain waves of people around
you? With all of our conversations about love and exposure to
the word "love," we have done little to understand the deeper
relationship of love that is so vital to our physical and
spiritual heart. We feel the pain of a broken heart but don't
understand why. We find it difficult to accept the fact that we
feel pain for good reasons. Those reasons are becoming more
evident as modern research provides greater insight into this
incredible organ. The physical and the spiritual world are joined
in this pulsing universe where love finds its home. www.howdoestheheart.com
Beaver's Pond Press, www.BeaversPondPress.com,
2004, ISBN 1-59298-072-4 Our capacity for intimacy is built on deep respect, a presence that allows what is true to express itself, to be discovered. - Jack Kornfield
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