Cavemen in
the Kitchen

Salads and Soups - Miso Horny Soup

Seriously, most of us consider salad as nothing more than a vehicle for dressing. I love the fact that everyone thinks salads are healthy and then they load up on the dressing. Then, the next thing that happens is some lady from Jenny Craig taps you on the shoulder and says, ‘Did you know that your salad has as many calories as an ice cream sundae?’ Really? Well heck, doesn’t this mean that you might as well have a sundae before dinner? No, you really can’t do that, as the date is already fairly wary of a guy who says he can cook. In fact, most are expecting you to offer a choice of either a Salisbury steak TV dinner or a potpie. Start it correctly with the soup or salad. Do be cautious, as too often the salad made is huge and (with our clean the plate mentality) no room is left for dessert.


This is a nifty little soup that will add that Asian flair or the ‘Exotic’ to the meal. It is almost as good as having Tia Carrera serve you…okay, no it isn’t and besides, if Tia Carrera were to serve you, you wouldn’t want your date there and neither would I. But, this is the soup that has the cloudy stuff floating in it and what you get when you go to a Japanese or Chinese restaurant . A word of caution, you might not be able to find some of these ingredients at your local store unless you live in Japan.

If you have sun-dried tomatoes, you can toss a few of these in as well. Another swift idea is to go to a store and see what sorta’ flavors they have for their humus. This is always a cool sense of inspiration on how to further personalize your humus.


1. 3 cups of water
2. 2 Tbsp of Miso, you want the red stuff as it is salty, the white stuff is sweet and being sweet is your date’s department
3. 3 chopped scallions
4. 1 oz of firm tofu that is chopped into cubes that are half the size of dice
5. ½ sheet of sushi wrapping, this is seaweed


Heat the water, it does not have to boil but it has to be pretty warm. While it heats up, cut the scallions into nice thin slices. Remember, the greater the surface area of an ingredient, the more flavor it will have. Okay, there you are with that. Now, when the water is warm, toss in the Miso paste. You can try library paste as we all used to eat that when we were kids, but Miso is probably better for us. Stir that around so that it is totally mixed.

While the stuff is simmering, either rip or cut the seaweed into strips no bigger than ½” x 2” and throw them in. You can use scissors for this. Stir them in and while stirring, remember, ‘wax on, wax off’ to get the correct rhythm and motion. It’s an art. Now cut the firm tofu into those ½ dice size chunks and throw them in. When you guesstimate that the tofu chunks are warm, you are done baby!


This stuff has to be served in bowls that are too small for anything else but probably one scoop of ice cream. There, bring it out and if you are daring, bring out chopsticks so you and your date can really be authentic while you try to nab one of those bottom dwelling tofu chunks.

©2008, by Ron DesMarais

Related Books

Ron DesMarais started life in Charlottesville, VA and has lived in several parts of the United States. When people hear the number of times he has moved, the question invariably arises as to whether or not he was an ‘Army Brat.’ There is only a half-truth there and that is found by dropping ‘Army’; unless, you consider ‘Army of Darkness.’ After moving with his parents for several years, Ron continued his nomadic ways, which were spurred by his mother’s finding out where he currently lived. In the process of changing dwellings and never getting rental deposits back (which he claims were never his fault), Ron’s financial status required that he start cooking for himself, as he could not afford eating out. This resulted in his quickly getting bored with Top Ramen and deciding to get creative in the kitchen. Soon, a list of recipes with a limited number of inexpensive ingredients started coming together. What really bolstered the creation of his book Cavemen in the Kitchen, and the writing of it as not just a cookbook but a ‘dating aid’ as well was when Ron ended up at a date’s house after a financially draining evening out. As both were hungry but Ron too broke and both too tired to go out somewhere, Ron dug through her cabinets, found some items to work with and based on a recipe he had created earlier, he created a meal for both. She loved it and the results of the meal were amazing in ways those under 18 should not hear about. From that point, dates for Ron consisted of cooking dinner, either at his house or the date’s house, and afterwards, either watching a video or doing something else. Click here to order a copy of the book (Contains adult content.)

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