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June
Technique #13: Then What?
We all want love. Lots of it. The more the better.
Throughout recorded history, men of all ages have
asked the same question: “How can I get women
to love me?”
Last month, we explored Technique #12: Show Up.
Here is Technique #13:
Then What?
On a recent date with a woman I was interested
in, I said, “Someday I would like to make love
to you.” She smiled, obviously enjoying the
comment and my penetrating gaze. She looked at me,
and asked seriously, “Then what?”
I was stumped for a moment – stopped cold.
I didn't understand the question.
I thought to myself “What do you mean,
‘Then what?’” In the next moment, an
amazing revelation flashed through my brain. I said
to her, “That's the difference between men and
women! Men are accomplishment oriented. Making love
to you was the endpoint of my plans – it was
as far as my thoughts had taken me! You, as a
woman, are relationship oriented. So you
immediately wonder what will happen AFTER we make
love!” It was a clear and true example of our
vast differences as a man and a woman, and we
laughed heartily.
Women want to know what will happen next. They
love looking forward to events in the future. They
spend huge amounts of time thinking about the
future and getting ready for it. They will talk to
their girlfriends about what might happen, and
imagine what they will wear when something does
happen, and how they’re going to feel when
what might happen happens. They can’t help it.
Imagining the future is one of the things they do.
It is an expression of the beauty that women bring
into the world, and one of the reasons that men
love to make things happen.
If you want a woman to love you, give her a lot
to look forward to. Plan a vacation or a trip or an
overnight stay at a bed & breakfast inn in the
next town. Don't tell her everything. Keep her in
suspense. Women love to wonder, and love to be
delighted by pleasant surprises. Tell her,
“I'm taking you somewhere next Friday night.
Pack two kinds of clothes – casual and fancy,
and make sure you have your hiking shoes and a
bathing suit. We're leaving at 4:00 pm sharp.”
When she begs to know more, don't tell her. You
don't need to plan everything in detail - just
figure out your options, and decide when you get
there. Pretend that you planned it all out from the
beginning. She’ll be in so much bliss that she
won’t notice.
Women feel secure when they can see a future
with a man, and they feel insecure when they can't.
Women leave men who won’t make a commitment to
the future. For that reason, talk to your woman
about future events. This can include anything
– from where you are going to take her out to
dinner (if it’s not a surprise, find out what
would please her) to what movies she would like to
be taken to see (not the ones you’d like to
see and drag her along). Ask her what foreign
countries she would like to visit, and what she
would do there. Talk to her about her desires for
her life, her work, her family, her health, and her
future.
Don't be dishonest about this, and don’t
make promises you won't keep. Be curious. Think and
plan as far forward as you can, and talk to her
about it - even if it's only to your next date.
When she knows that you’re thinking about a
future with her, she will feel more secure. When
she can trust you more she can open up more. When
she opens, her femininity blossoms, her beauty
flows, and you will receive the gift of her
love.
Women get turned on at a speed about one-tenth
as fast as men. In other words, if it takes you
five minutes to feel hot and ready for sex, it
takes her almost an hour. Here’s how you can
use this to your advantage: Begin to talk to her
about what you want to do in bed with her at least
one hour, and preferably many hours before you make
love to her. Drop little hints at first, and
gradually get more graphic. “I don’t know
if I can wait until tonight, because I keep
thinking about how your breasts feel in my
hands.” “I remember how you screamed the
last time we made love. I want you to really let it
out tonight.” “I’m going to suck on
your toes tonight, and if you’re good,
I’ll work my way all the way up your
body.”
By the time you get to bed, your woman will be
juicy and turned on, hardly able to wait until your
clothes are off. Great lovers practice this
technique, raising her temperature as slowly as
possible until she nearly explodes when she’s
touched. To see this technique in action, rent the
movie “Don Juan de Marco” starring Johnny
Depp. Later, watch it again with her, and watch her
reactions. Then act like Don Juan de Marco. Let her
know “then what.” Then you’ll find
out “what then.” It will surprise and
delight you.
When you implement these 15 techniques into your
life, you will be transformed into the kind of man
that women love. Some of these shifts take a lot of
internal work, for example changing some of your
old habits. Some of them are as easy as adopting a
different point of view. Let me know of your
successes and your struggles, your thoughts,
suggestions and additions. I welcome your
emails.
Next month: End Cleanly.
©2010 Lion
Goodman
* * *
Lion Goodman
is an executive coach and "evocateur" who helps
individuals create extraordinary success, happiness
and results in their lives. He is a
widely-published author, workshop leader, public
speaker, and a successful businessman. He has
studied and explored the realms of psychology,
spirituality, and business mastery for more than 35
years. He brings these decades of learning and
growth to others through his workshop,
“Everyday Awakening: Practical Techniques for
Waking Up Into Joy.” He is also a co-founder
of The Men’s Tribe in Northern California
which offers men an initiation into principle-based
living. He resides in the San Francisco Bay Area
with his partner, author and workshop leader Anodea
Judith. This series of articles are excerpts from
his e-book, “How To Get Women To Love
You,” which is available on his website:
www.everydayawakening.com
or lion@everydayawakening.com
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