How to get Women
to Love You

Technique #8:
Love Women

We all want love. Lots of it. The more the better. Throughout recorded history, men of all ages have asked the same question: “How can I get women to love me?”

Last month, we explored Technique #7: Get Over Yourself. Here is Technique #8:

Love Women

If you want to be loved by women, love your woman, and extend your love to all women. If all women were parts of one fantastic creature, like ants in an ant colony, or the curves that collectively make up a woman’s shape, you would see each woman as representative of something huge and wonderful, worthy of adoration and praise. Women are, in fact, connected to something much larger – the Divine Feminine. This cosmic force is often referred to as “the Goddess.” It is the feminine side of every equation, and it exists deep inside every woman – from the newborn baby girl to the cute young girl to the budding adolescent young woman to the gorgeous maiden in her 20’s to the mature woman and mother to the elder crone. Other cultures have recognized this glory of the feminine that takes all forms. In ancient India, it was called “Shakti.” She has a thousand other names: Demeter, Inana, Hawwah or Awa, Dana or Diana, Isis, Ishtar or Astarte, Aphrodite. This is the Great Lineage of the feminine, which gave birth to everything.

It is understandable that the ancients worshiped the Great Mother. When you see that you came out of your mother, and so did your momma, and so did everybody else, you can work your way back to a Great Mother that gave birth to everything. The male Gods, and the Judeo-Christian masculine God, came late on the scene – after tens of thousands of years of Goddess worship.

Why is this important? Because women want to be seen for who they really are, behind their everyday presentation. They want to be seen as beautiful expressions of the Divine, as they truly are. Worship is dangerous, of course, because it places someone on a pedestal, and we know where that leads – it’s a long fall. I do not recommend worshipping any woman. It leads to big trouble. I do, however, recommend worshipping the Goddess that she is an expression of. If you see past her physical body, and past her psychological trips, and past her nonsense and past her habits and her quirks and her (dare I say it?) shit, and look deeply into the Source of her, you will see the Goddess.

When you can see that your woman, who has suddenly become a crazed bitch or a sobbing puddle of emotion or a withdrawing child, is merely acting out one of the many manifestations of the Goddess, it is much easier to handle. It’s just one act in a huge unfolding play of the Goddess manifesting as everything all the time. “Oh Good! I don’t have to take it so seriously!” You can even move into an appreciation of its glory.

Become absolutely fascinated by women, and all the ways they express their beauty and love and creativity. And don’t forget to be fascinated by the dark side of women, too – destruction and spite, anger and spit-fire, uncontrolled emotions and complete illogic. Think of the ocean, which is sometimes calm and sometimes fierce, but never steady, and always changing. From this vantage point, you will gain an appreciation and an understanding of women that few men have. If you extend your love to THAT divinity, women will love you for it. They rarely experience that all-encompassing love from a man, so when they do, they melt and open to the most beautiful aspects of themselves. You will be the beneficiary of that. Ain’t nothin’ better.

When you implement these 14 techniques into your life, you will be transformed into the kind of man that women love. Some of these shifts take a lot of internal work, for example changing some of your old habits. Some of them are as easy as adopting a different point of view. Let me know of your successes and your struggles, your thoughts, suggestions and additions. I welcome your emails.

Next month: Care.

©2010 Lion Goodman

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Lion Goodman is an executive coach and "evocateur" who helps individuals create extraordinary success, happiness and results in their lives. He is a widely-published author, workshop leader, public speaker, and a successful businessman. He has studied and explored the realms of psychology, spirituality, and business mastery for more than 35 years. He brings these decades of learning and growth to others through his workshop, “Everyday Awakening: Practical Techniques for Waking Up Into Joy.” He is also a co-founder of The Men’s Tribe in Northern California which offers men an initiation into principle-based living. He resides in the San Francisco Bay Area with his partner, author and workshop leader Anodea Judith. This series of articles are excerpts from his e-book, “How To Get Women To Love You,” which is available on his website: or

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