Gaydar*
 

Are You Getting The Love You Want?


  • Have you just begun a relationship that you want to keep?
  • Want to resolve longstanding conflicts with your partner?
  • Want to decide if your relationship can be saved?
  • Want to make a good relationship even better?

Imago is the Latin word for image. Dr. Hendrix developed the premise that your personal imago is a composite of those people who influenced you most strongly at an early age. You find yourself attracted to people with much the same traits as your original caretakers. Unconsciously, then, you’ll bring unresolved childhood conflicts into your romantic relationship—giving your partner the burden of meeting those needs.

Both members of a couple tend to do this, of course. And without understanding why their conflicts arise, many people simply walk away from their relationship. But for most couples, even a conflicted partnership has vast potential for mutual healing.

These three days will help you learn:

  • Communication skills to improve dialogue with your partner and find solutions to conflicts
  • Greater compassion and understanding—of both yourself and your partner.
  • Why the unconscious forces that attract you to each other are also sources of friction.
  • How to get “unstuck” from the power struggle you are in with your partner
  • Ways to re-establish the excitement and intimacy of your very first months or years together.
  • How to achieve growth and lasting fulfillment—for both of you.

Imago Relationship Therapy provides a safe framework for couples to work through their conflict and frustrations. Through a series of communication exercises, partners reach a deeper understanding of what they’re really disagreeing about—and begin to move toward seeing each other as a friend and an ally. For couples who want to enhance an already good relationship, the weekend offers new techniques to deepen to the quality of their life together.

Through guided imagery and written exercises, you and your partner can fully share with each other—perhaps for the very first time.

You’ll have new opportunities for bonding and creating a positive, loving foundation. You’ll witness other couples working on their relationships, hear them share their insights, and see how they resolve conflicts.

This isn’t group therapy or marital counseling. You’re invited to participate in a supportive atmosphere, but never pressured into disclosing personal information.

Often couples come through the workshop and I never know what their personal relationship issues are nor do the other participants.

Emotional safety, comfort, and confidentiality is maintained throughout the weekend. We respect everyone’s privacy.

These workshops are worth at least three to six months of couples’ therapy. Participants vastly reduce the time it takes to learn various communication processes, so that they can get right down to work.

©2009 by Joe Kort

Related: Issues, Books

Psychotherapist Joe Kort, MA, MSW, has been in practice since 1985. He specializes in Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy as well as IMAGO Relationship Therapy, which is a specific program involving communication exercises designed for couples to enhance their relationship and for singles to learn relationship skills. He also specializes in sexual addiction, childhood sexual, physical and emotional abuse, depression and anxiety. He offers workshops for couples and singles. He runs a gay men's group therapy and a men's sexuality group therapy for straight, bi and gay men who are struggling with specific sexual issues. His therapy services are for gays and lesbians as well as heterosexuals. His articles and columns have appeared in The Detroit Free Press, Between the Lines Newspaper for Gays and Lesbians, The Detroit News, The Oakland Press, The Royal Oak Mirror, and other publications. Besides providing therapy for individuals and couples, he conducts a number of groups and workshops for gay men. Now an adjunct professor teaching Gay and Lesbian Studies at Wayne State University's School of Social Work, he is doing more writing and workshops on a national level. He is the author of 10 Smart Things Gay Men can do to Improve Their Lives and 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Find Real Love. www.joekort.com or E-Mail

* Gaydar (gay'.dahr, n.): (1) The ability that lets gays and lesbians identify one other. (2) This column--where non-gay readers can improve their gaydar, learning more about gay men's psychology and social lives. Also, (3) a regular feature where gay readers can discover the many questions and hassles their straight counterparts--and themselves--must face!



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