The Menstuff® library lists pertinent books on Relationship. See also Books Communication, Conflict Resolution.
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Alberti, Robert & Michael Emmons,
Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and equality in your
life and relationships. Donna lacks the nerve to hang up on
obnoxious telemarketers. Mitch has trouble expressing warm, caring
feelings. Shy Pam languishes at the bottom of the "pecking order"
at work while pushy Dale bullies others to get his way. Is
learning to manipulate others and answer to personal
powerlessness? There's a better way, according to the authors who
are distinguished experts in the field of assertiveness training.
They advocate respectful self-expression as a tool for promoting
equality in human relationships. This newly released edition
reinforces its status as the "bible" of assertiveness training.
Assertiveness is, first and foremost, a matter of personal choice.
If you know how to act assertively, you are free to choose whether
or not you will. This book offers a proven step-by-step method for
achieving successful self-determination in everyday life. Impact
Publishers, www.impactpublishers.com
2001 ISBN 1-886230-28-5 Buy
this book!
Alden-Tirrill, Anna and Jonathan van
Helsing, Cyber Love's Illusions: Exposing the Romance
Scams of Internet Dating: An Insider's Guide: How to
avoid being a scam victim and find true love in the scam-free
zone. Are you or someone you love a victim of a romance
scam? Nigerian scam artists bilk American, Canadian,
Australian and European victims out of an estimated $15 billion a
year. Think it can't happen to you - that they can't catch you in
their web of deceit? Don't be so sure. These slick romance
scammers use intricate confidence games to manipulate many
intelligent men and women into sending them their hard-earned
money. This book exposes the negarious underworld of Nigerian
Romance Scamming. You'll get an inside look from an interview with
an actual scammer and reports from our own Nigerian "Deep Throat"
informant, revealing how these scammers operate. The information
they provide will hellp you to guard your heart and protect your
bank account. Not all Internet dating sites are a safe haven for
these clever scammers. This book will show you which dating sites
are proactive in dealing with scammers, and which ones leave their
members vulnerable to scam attacks. Discover the sites the authors
place in the Scam-Free Zone! White Cottage Publishing,
www.whitecottagepublishing.com,
2006, ISBN 1-885831-09-9 
Alvrez, Alicia, Bedtime: 365 nightly readings for passion
& romance. From Pablo Neruda contemplating the curves of a
woman's body and Emily Dickinson's poetics of love, to Diane
Ackerman ruminating on the eroticism of a kiss, this book will
transport you to a more passionate state of mind. With selections
from the greatest romantic poets - Shelley, Sappho, Rilke - and
experts on sensuality - Barbara De Angelis, Daphne Rose Kingma,
Margot Anand - this book is to charm, arouse, even amuse, as it
stimulates your imagination and erotic impulses. Have more fun in
bed. A delicious collection of romantic readings and amorous
suggestions to induldge your heart, mind, body and soul. Conari
Press, 1995 ISBN 1-57324-184-9 Buy
this book!
Anapol, Deborah, Polyamory The New Love
Without Limits: Secrets of sustainable intimate
relationshps. What is polyamory? Can marriage and
unconditional love co-exist? How do you cope with
jealousy? Is polyamory immoral? Can you really
love two or more people at a time? What about sexually
transmitted diseases? What's wrong with serial
monogamy? Does polyamory harm children? Find the answers to
all these question and more. IntiNet Resource Center,
415.507.1738, 1997, pad@well.com,
ISBN 1-880789-08-6 Buy
this book!
Anapol, Deborah, The Seven Natural Laws of
Love. As we search for love in our lives, most of us often
feel as though we're on a journey without a compass - or even
worse, with a faulty map. We are programmed from our earliest
childhood experiences with scores of assumptions about love. We're
taught male and female roles, and ways of seeing ourselves, that
may lead to separation, fear, and mistrust. These many fallacies
and misconceptions lead us to associate love with disappointment
and pain. In this book the author gives us a warm, simple and
universal guide to the principles that are common to all loving
relationships. Drawing from the stories of the thousands of
individuals and couples she has counseled in her workshops and
private practice, from her own personal struggles and victories,
and from sacred texts, she distills love down to its basic
essentials. Based on real-world observations, she identifies the
seven laws that flow naturally from the true nature of love, and
shows how we can apply these to our lives. Her warmth, humor,
utter honesty, and lucid writing style cut through the
misunderstandings that get in the way of intimacy, and give us an
accurate map to the source of love inside ourselves. www.sevenlawsoflove.com,
2005. Elite Books, www.elitebooks.biz
ISBN 0-9710888-7-X 
Arp, David, Claudia S. Arp, Scott M. Stanley,
Howard J. Markman, Susan L. Blumberg, Fighting for Your Empty
Nest Marriage: Reinventing your relationship when the kids
leave home. Once upon a time, people grew up, got married, had
kids, retired - and died. Today, people grow up, get married, have
kids, maybe retire, then spend another 30 years together - if they
know how. But lots of couples look at each other after their kids
leave home and think, "I don't even know this
person!" They are now forced to spend time with each other,
and they have to make that crucial transition from parent back
into spouse. They have completely different dreams and
expectations. They may even be living separate lives, like two
single people sharing a house. They often end up in divorce court
after decades together. A team of five authors explores how
couples fall into this grim situation and how they can either
prevent it or repair it. They explore the hidden issues and
conflicts, the communication woes and other problems that surface
after kids grow up and no longer require so much attention. Their
book helps men and women recover their roles as husband and wife
when they no longer have to be primarily Mom and Dad. And they
remind us that marriage can be fun. By becoming stronger as
partners, couples will enjoy each other more, their own lives
more, and they will find greater happiness and fulfillment in the
upcoming years. Jossey-Bass, www.joseybass.com
2000 ISBN 0-7879-5222-2 Buy
this book!
Baber, Asa, Naked at Gender Gap: A men's view of the war
between the sexes. Welcome to the world of America's most
controversial men's movement writer. Brash and unflinching, he has
been one of the earliest and most outspoken voices on the subject
of manhood. For more than a decade, he has been pouring out his
heart and mind on the inequities in the ground rules of the battle
of the sexes. He has been one of the pioneers of the men's
movement. He is a preeminent spokesman on behalf of the rights of
divorced fathers. In this book, he discusses all the issues that
try men's souls with a toughness and a sensitivity that are sure
to provoke spirited argument. Virtually no part of his personal
history - he suffered the loss of custody of his two sons who
later returned to him on their own - his psyche, or his anatomy
goes unexposed. This book, along with Iron John and Fire
in the Belly, is one of the most important books to engage in
the new dialogue about the lives of men in contemporary America.
Carol, 1992 ISBN 1-55972-114-6 Buy
This Book!
Baber, Brendan & Eric Spitznagel,
A Guy's Guide to Dating: Everything you need to know
about love, sex, relationships, and other things too terrible to
contemplate. With the sexual revolution of the 60s, the
women's movement of the 70s and 80s and the politically correct
90s, men have every right to be thoroughly confused. Let's face
it. Dating in this decade is tough - and as far as men are
concerned, it's tougher on them. The sidesplitting book takes men
through the pitfalls of modern romance and is destined to give
guys a clear path to finding love. The authors take readers by the
hand and lead them through the murky waters of the modern dating
pool and then escort them down the path to contemporary
relationship nirvana. Doubleday www.bdd.com
1998 Buy
This Book!
Baer, Greg, Real Love: The truth about finding
unconditional love and fulfilling relationships. Why do most
of us search our entire lives for loving and happy relationships
but rarely find them? What is that "secret
something" that all relationships need in order to
thrive? The author found the answer to these questions while
working with hundreds of individuals and couples, and now he
shares with us an enlightening and practical blueprint for
creating successful relationships as we walk the path to finding
and keeping what he calls 'Real Love." With Real Love as your
guide, you can begin to heal the wounds of the past and create
rewarding and fulfilling relationships in every area of your life.
Go to www.GregBaer.com
for a description of additional books, journal entries, and a list
of planned seminars and media appearances. Gotham Books, www.penguinputnam.com
,
2003, ISBN 1-592-40000-0 Buy
This Book!
Baker, Carolyn, Reclaiming the Dark
Feminine: The Price of Desire. FINALLY. A book that dares to
look at this issue from a woman's perspective. She takes a unique
look and approach to the questions of gender reconciliation and
relationships. It's controversial and sometimes disturbing. She
challenges political feminism and the renewed fascination with the
goddess, saying they are inadequate to restoring wholeness to the
feminine psyche. Mythopoetically, she weaves together the symbolic
and the literal, developing solid ground on which men and women
can join in their quest for union with both the feminine and
masculine energies within themselves and with each other, fully
intact. New Falcon, 1739 E Broadway Rd STE 1-277, Tempe, AZ 85282
1996 ISBN 1-56184-088-2 Buy
This Book!
Barron, James Douglas, She Wants a
Ring - and I Don't Wanna Change a Thing: How a man can
overcome his fears of commitment and marriage. The author
offers humorous, practical advice for the guy who has trouble
making a commitment. Telling his own story of dating and
engagement, he tackles the problems that plague millions of
men: "Is She The One?" "No Other Woman for the Rest of
My Life?" "Will We Love Each Other When We're Shriveled Up
Old Raisins?" He gives quick, invaluable tips on how to get
over the hurdles of proposal, engagement, planning the wedding,
and getting to the altar. Quill www.harpercollins.com
2001 ISBN 0-688-17950-9 Buy
this book!
Barrow, Dr. Molly, Matchlines: A
revolutionary new way of looking at relationships and making the
right choices in love. Can you guess who is going to have an
affair and become the cheating spouse/partner? Will it be the
desperate, starved for love, Longerlines, who has been rejected
and dumped over and over? No. The Longerline's self-esteem is
at its lowest possible point, forcing him/her to emotionally
withdraw and question his/her own value and sexual attractiveness.
Longerlines stay home, eat more, and become depressed. It is the
Shorterlines who are at the greatest risk of being unfaithful to
their partners. While being prodded for more and more, and
repeatedly reminded that they do not have enough to offer,
Shorterlines are very likely to seek out new, re-energizing
relationships, filled with refreshing feedback. A Longerline can
unwittingly push a Shoterline into the eager arms of a new lover -
someone who has much lower expectations of them and makes them
feel like a winner instead of a chronic failure. Learn how to
avoid this all-too-common situation and many others in this book.
www.DrMollyBarrow.com.
2006, ISBN 1-59507-158-X 
Becker, Carol, Becoming
Colleagues: Women and men serving together in faith. Few
mixed gender work teams in faith-based organizations are as
successful as they could be - and the reasons for success or
faliure are always evident. Women often grapple with people whose
practices and theological understandings do not welcome their
leadership, and both men and women fall into counterproductive
power struggles and traps of miscommunication. In these
circumstances, even highly effective teams until now have found it
hard to explain the magic formula behind their success. In the
first book to address this issue, the author gives specific
guidance for implementing change in the religious workplace, based
on her extensive study of twenth-three different teams of men and
women from congregations, denominations, and faith-based nonprofit
organizations. She uses stories from successful teams to outline
nine criteria required for effective mixed-gender working
relations and tells how to use these criteria to create and
sustain an effective team. In practice, successful teams integrate
elements of all nine criteria in order to build successful mixed
gender work experiences. The stories from the teams in this book
bring these criteria to life and demonstrate a common theme that
is intangible: the great joy that men and women of faith
experience when they are working together effectively.
Jossey-Bass, www.josseybass.com
ISBN 0-7879-4709-1 Buy
This Book!
Behrendt, Greg and Liz Tuccillo, He's
Just Not that Into You: The no-excuses truth to understanding
guys. For ages women have come together over coffee,
cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling
behavior of men. He's afraid to get hurt again. Maybe he
doesn't want to ruin the friendship. Maybe he's intimidated by me.
He just got out of a relationship. The authors are here to say
that - despite good intentions - you're wasting your time. Men are
not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And
there are no mixed messages. The truth may be He's just not
that into you. Unfortunately guys are too terrified to ever
directly tell a woman, "You're not the one." But their
actions absolutely show how they feel. This book - based on a
popular episode of Sex and the City - educates otherwise smart
women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so
they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end
relationship. Reexaming familiar scenarios and classic mindsets
that keep us in unsatisfying relationships, the author's wise and
wry understanding of the sexes spares women hours of waiting by
the phone obsessing over the details with sympathetic girl
friends, and hoping his mixed messages really mean "I'm in love
with you and want to be with you." This book is provocative,
hilarious, and abuve all, intoxicatingly liberating. It deserves a
place on every woman's night table. It knows you're a beautiful,
smart, funny woman who deserves better. The next time you feel the
need to start "figuring him out," consider the glorious thought
that maybe He's just no that into you. And then set
yourself loose to go find the one who is. Both authors were
involved with Sex and the City. Simon Spotlight
Entertainment, www.simonsays.com
,
2004, ISBN 0-689-87474-X 
Bem, Sandra Lipsitzm An Unconventional
Family. In 1965, when psychologists Sandra and Daryl Bem met
and married, they were determined to function as truly egalitarian
partners and to raise their children in accordance with
gender-liberated, anti-homophobic, and sex-positive feminist
ideals. During the next ten years, they exuberantly shared the
details of their daily lives in both public lectures and the mass
media in order to provide at least one concrete example of an
alternative to the traditional heterosexual family. In the 1990s,
Sandra Bem also published an award-winning book, The Lenses of
Gender, which spelled out the feminist theory behind their
feminist practices. This book, an autobiographical account of the
Bems' nearly thirty-year marriage, is both a persoanl history of
the Bems' past and a social history of a key period in feminism's
past. It is also a look into feminism's future, because the Bems'
children, Emily and Jeremy, now in their early twenties, speak in
the book as well. The author analyzes what aspects of family
background and psychological makeup led them to bond so
immediately and to become gender pioneers. She describes the
egalitarianism and feminist child-rearing that they invented for
their private needs and tells how these family agendas were
transformed into public feminist discourse. Finally, she
reassesses their early feminist union now that the marriage has
come to an end and the children are young adults, evaluating (with
the help of lengthy interviews with Emily and Jeremy and a brief
epilogue by Daryl) what the Bems' experiences - both positive and
negative - have to say about the viability and necessity of
nontraditional gender arrangements in society today. (Ed. I would
sure like to read more than a "brief epilogue" of Daryl's
experience through his own words. I hope that book is in the
works. It might be at least as enlightening as this one.) Yale
University Press, 1998
Berkowitz, Bob, What Men Won't Tell You but Women Need to
Know. There are thousands of unanswered questions about men
that women have been forced to puzzle out for themselves, and more
often than not, they have come up with the wrong answers. But
don't blame yourself - you've been getting the silent treatment.
Now that's all over. Former Today show men's correspondent,
the author has broken the seal and delivered the ultimate
"insider's guide" to men: their habits, desires, inspirations,
hopes and nightmares. Only a man with his investigative background
could uncover the secrets men keep, from the mundane reasons for
watching football to philosophic views on jobs, family, and most
of all, women. This book is the straight stuff, a funny, gritty,
no-holds-barred compendium. Learn ten reasons why men are jerks,
tips for first dates and weekend trips, and the real rules for
flirting. Discover how men really feel when they lose their jobs,
or their hair. Most important, there is insight into things that
men just don't like to talk about, including the awful "C" word
(commitment). The news isn't always good, and sometimes the truth
is simpler than you think. The author has gotten the whole story
and gives advice that is both practical and honest. This is a
source book, a guide to learning how to live with the man of your
choice. Or conversely, finding a man you can live with. William
Morrow, Hardbound, 1990 ISBN 0-688-08779-5 Buy
This Book! or Avon Books, 1991, ISBN: 0380713640
Buy
This Book!
Bertine, Eleanor, Close Relationships: Family,
friendship, marriage, Inner City, 1992
Bilgere, Dmitri, Beyond the Blame Game:
Creating compassion and ending the sex war in your life. Learn
how to get beyond the blaming that keeps men and women apart.
Understand and heal the shame men and women feel. See men's hidden
powerlessness and women's hidden power. Stop accidentally creating
the behaviors you hate the most in members of the opposite sex,
and encourage those you do. Develop your sexual compassion, sexual
style and sexual self-esteem. Stop blaming others for the problems
in your life without blaming yourself for them, either. And much
much more. MPC Press http://pobox.com/~LifePower
1997
ISBN 0-9613177-3-6 Buy
This Book!
Blake, Tom, Finding Love After 50: How
to begin, where to go, what to do. "Why is dating after 50 so
difficult?" asked Matt Lauer during the author's most recent
appearance on the Today show. Inside this book, you'll find the
answer to Matt's question and hundreds more that will make dating
after 50 easier. This book is the only dating book written by a
man exclusively for the 29 million singles age 50 and older that
shows them how to find love. You'll overcome loneliness, make
yourself desirable, discover places to go to meet eligible singles
and optimize your chances of meeting a compatible mate. There's
someone out there for you, this book will lead you to them. To ask
a question or receive Tom's free weekly column on middle-age
dating and relationships by e-mail, click on www.findingloveafter50.com
.
Morris Publishing, 2003, ISBN 0-9727966-0-6 Buy
This Book!
Borus, Justin, The Girls & Sports
Dating and Relationship Playbook: Opening lines, pinky probes
and L-bombs. This book treats readers to an honest and
humorous look at the issues most important to single people,
including dating, sports, relationships, the bar scene, working
out, parties, vacations and much more. This smorgasbord of dating
and relationship advice features charts, graphs, pithy
observations, not-so-obvious truisms, and sports-influenced
strategies. The book covers the whole cycle of a relationship,
from "Getting the Night Started" and "Scouting the Prospects" to
"First Dates" and "Going All the Way" to "The Serious
Relationship" and "Getting out of the Game" (i.e. getting
married). Fans of the strip and new readers alike will love this
irreverent guide to all that is girls...and sports. Santa Monia
Press, 2007 www.santamonicapress.com,
ISBN 1-59580-015-8 
Broder, Michael, Can Your Relationship Be
Saved? How to know whether to stay or go. This book is for you
if...You're in a troubled relationship and are trying to decide
whether to stay or leave. You're looking back at a relationship
that ended and wondering what went wrong. You're trying to
understand why a friend's or relative's relationship ended,
regardless of how healthy it appeared. You're finding that things
that may have attracted you to your partner before may be the very
things that now turn you off. You're wondering if you can benefit
from professional help, and how to find it. www.rebuilding.org
Impact Publishing, www.impactpublishers.com
, 2002, ISBN 1-886230-41-2 Buy
This Book!
Brooks, Gary, Centerfold Syndrome: How men can
overcome objectification & achieve intimacy with women.
It's no secret that millions of men read magazines like
Playboy and Penthouse and lust after bikini-clad
models. After all, guys will be guys, and what's the
harm? Plenty! claims the author of this ground-breaking
book that shows how many so-called normal male attitudes toward
sex are actually harmful and destructive. He identifies the five
principal symptoms of this pervasive disorder: voyeurism (I
can't stop watching gorgeous women), objectification (obsessive
fetishism over body parts that interferes with the ability to have
relationships with an actual person; the need for validation
(women have great power to make or break my sense of masculinity),
trophyism (Beautiful women are collectibles that show the world
who a man is) and the fear of intimacy (I'm desperately lonely but
deeply fearful of getting too close.) Here is the first candid
analysis of how boys are conditioned to pursue airbrushed photo
fantasies, and how they're brought up to depend upon and yet fear
the perceived power women hold over them as gatekeepers to a
previous commodity - their objectified bodies! And even more
importantly how this syndrome prevents true emotional intimacy
between men and women. But he also offers a way to overcome this
destructive malady. Using actual case histories and transcripts
from groups he has led over many years, he documents how a variety
of men from different backgrounds have struggled to escape the
depersonalization, the isolation and the sense of frustration and
powerlessness in this syndrome. Both men and women will appreciate
the candor in this book. He offers specifis guildelines and
practical plans of action for all of us in our various roles - as
friends, lovers, partners, husbands, wives, parents, responsbile
citizens - in an era of changing gender relations. Jossey-Bass,
1995 ISBN 0-7879-0104-0 Buy
this book!
Campbell, Carolyn, Love Lost and
Found: True stories of long-lost loves - reunited at
last. Whether a loved one has left intentionally, or has
disappeared without a trace, millions of Americans suffer through
heartache wondering whether their loved one is out there. Many of
these questions go unanswered, but as for the thousands of people
who turn to BigHugs.com, their questions are answred and the
majority of them leave happy and satisfied. BigHugs.com is an
organization that is considered one of the most successful in its
field. They are responsible for all the daytime TV reunion shows
and have appearances nearly every week on several #1 talk shows.
Touching true stories from the files of BigHugs.com bring us the
heartwarming emotions of real people who have been tragically
separated from their soul mates, and their individual quests to be
reunited with their one true love. 800.BIG-HUGS or BigHugs.com
Berkley Books, 2000 ISBN 0-425-17627-4 Buy
this book!
Campbell, Steve, Third and
Long: Men's playbook for solving marital/relationship
problems and building a winning team. It could happen to any
man...As women's need for authentic, equitable relationships has
emerged in recent decades, the challenge to men has never been
greater: get better at relationships - fast - or risk losing your
partner. Today's stronger, more confident women are walking away
from unsatisfying marriages in rising numbers. The good news is
that the situation can be improved very quickly - and men don't
have to stop being men to do it. This book tells them how. After
his own marriage failed and he began noticing other marriages in
trouble, the author realized that men needed a to-the-point guide
to getting better at relationships. Written by a man who's learned
the hard way (and edited by his former wife!), this book leverages
the idea of game preparation and teamwork to convey to men how to
be more authentic and loving in their romantic relationsips. It
helps men diagnose the areas in which their relationships might be
in trouble, and provides concrete ideas to begin fixing those
problems right away. Perhaps most importantly, it shows men how to
understand and address the need for deeper love and connection
over the long-term. Concise yet loaded with valuable tips and
plays that can be put into immediately, it is the essential men's
playbook for building a winning relationship team. www.thirdandlong.ca
or E-Mail 2005
ISBN 1420818104
See Article
Canary, Daniel & Tara Emmers-Sommer, Sex and Gender
Differences in Personal Relationships, Guilford
,
1997
Clark, J. Michael, Doing the Work of
Love: Men & commitment in same-sex
couples. This is a groundbreaking book that crestes an
important bridge between academic work on men and sexulaity and
popular unreflective work on gay male relationships. Exploring
intimate, coupled relationships among men, especially among gay
men, the author celebrates embodied, sensual, sexual goodness of
men's sexual relationships, while adamantly rejecting an "anything
goes" approach to gay male sexuality or to sexuality in general.
The author proposes an ethics of sexual accountability in-relation
as a middle ground between those who espouse anonymous
multi-partnered sex as the crux of gay identity and those whose
current sex panic resounds with sex-negativity. www.mensstudies.com
Men's Studies Press, 1999 Cloth ISBN 0-9671794-1-6 Buy
This Book; Paperback ISBN 0-9671794-0-8 Buy
This Book
Cohen, Alan, Happily Ever After: Can
you be friends after lovers? The author illuminates the keys
to enjoying a better relationship with your former partner and
opening the door to richer love. This groundbreaking book is a
wealth of wisdom, offering practical tools for moving from pain,
fear and separateness to mutual empowerment, greater aliveness and
peace of mind and heart. In these pages, you will meet more than
two dozen couples who have found creative ways to love themselves
and their former mates, and who have gone on to more satisfying
relationships with their former spouses, and eventually, their new
partners. These dynamic concepts and techniques will empower you
to find healing, mutual support and win-win solutions to the
issues that have challenged you in past relationships, end
self-defeating patterns and pave the way to a new and better
relationship with your next partner, and learn to love, honor and
cherish yourself so deeply that you have no doubt that you are
worthy of the relationship your heart truly desires. Hay House,
www.hayhouse.com .
ISBN 1-56170-629-9 Buy
this book!
Collins, Susie and Otto, Love and
Relationship Success Secrets. In this book, you'll discover
the Love and Relationship Success Secrets that most people search
for their entire lives! This book is a compilation of
dozens of articles containing powerful and practical tips, ideas
and suggestions on how to create outstanding relationships of all
kinds. While the authors talk about intimate relationships, the
principles discussed apply to all relationships - family, friends,
and people at work. If you want to improve your relationships, buy
this book now! www.collinspartners.com
and passion@bright.net
Collins, Susie and Otto, 101 Relationship
Quotes Worth a Million Dollars! This booklet contains
100 relationship quotes worth a million dollars - not in the
material sense-but in what they have been worth to us. These
quotations came from the pages of our own lives and from the
thoughts of some of our favorite authors who have greatly
influenced us. Many of these quotations formed the foundation of
our own relationship, as well as a new model we teach called
Spiritual Partnership. We hope the words in this booklet impact
you as greatly as they have us. www.collinspartners.com
and passion@bright.net
Culbreth, Judsen, Boomers' Guide to
Online Dating. Maybe you've heard wonderful success stories
about online dating but are a little intimidated to try it. Or
perhaps you think there are no terrificmen your age.
(Note: This book is written by a women basically for women
but has some very good information for men to consider.) That's
how the author felt until she gave online dating a try. She
discovered that older single men significantly outnumber women on
online dating sites, and, more important, they're eager to make a
match with someone who shares their interests (and generation).
Whether you're new to online dating, or need a refresher course to
boost your dating confidence, the author, who married her
cyber-sweetheat at age 52, guides you through the practical
aspects of this new venture including: The differences among
the various Internet date sites, How to craft an online personal
ad, E-mail etiquette, and When to meet in person. She also gently
offers you personal wisdom, from uncovering your mental roadblocks
to dating and revamping your image, to brushing up on the world of
men and how to approach the ever-important topic of intimacy.
Filled with real life success stories, checklists, worksheets, and
fun facts to get you motivated and courting the smart way, this
book is the reassuring resource you need - your handbook to
finding the perfect person. Rodale, rodalestore.com,
2005, ISBN 1-59486-225-7 
Dacey, John and Lynne Weygint,
The Joyful Family: Meaningful
activities and heartfelt celebrations for connecting with the ones
you love. Create loving bonds that last a lifetime. Is
your family as closely connected as you would like it to
be? Do you yearn to find new ways to celebrate both everyday
togetherness and special occasions? In this inspiring book,
the authors present more than seventy activities to help you
create new traditions for every event your family experiences and
shares. Whether you are honoring the birth of your child,
celebrating his or her high school graduation, or dealing with a
difficult family situation, you will want to turn to this book as
a powerful resource for increasing the strength, closeness, and
love in your most important relationships. Conari Press, 2002.
ISBN 1-57324-572-0 Buy
This Book!
Daniell, Rosemary, Sleeping with
Solders: In seach of the macho man. This book is
the author's story of her search for the macho man, the
exploration of her deep attraction to men who live dangerously,
who are frankly and naturally masculine. The author, an outspoken
feminist, writer, and poet, identifies with the risks these men
take in the name of freedom and sensation and like many other
independent women, she is drawn to them despite their tendency to
drink too much, live to fast, and sometimes display a brutal brand
of male chauvinism. To discover why this should be, she set off on
a cross-country journey that took her from a job as one of four
women on an offshore oil rig (where she quickly found herself in
the middle of an x-rated fantasy), to a convention, sponsored by
the bloody and hypermilitaristic Soldier of Fortune
magazine, that offered some surprising glimpses into the masculine
psyche. Making detours throughout the South and delving into her
past, with its rich cast of characters, she next travels out West
to the wilds of Wyoming, where men are men and women sometimes
have little use for them. And, finally, she returns home to write
honestly and movingly about her continuing relationship - loving
but often tormented - with a handsome ex-paratrooper. On one
level, a female adventure story, the book is her own personal
odyssey into the world of the macho man; on a deeper level, a
subjective and imperative exploration of her most primal feelings
toward the other sex. In both cases, a journey necessary for her
to reconcile the male/female parts of herself. Filled with her
experiences and insights and those of the men and women she meets
on the road, this book is a funny, raunchy, revealing examination
of women's love-hate for macho men. Holt, Rinehart
& Winston, 1985 ISBN 0-03-062431-2
Deida, David, It's a Guy
Thing: An owner's manual for women, David Deida.
"Why does he do that?" is the great American woman's battle cry.
Now there is help for any woman who has ever
wondered: Why do men gawk when an attractice woman
walks by? Why are many men turned off by an aggressive
woman? And why do most men prefer reading the newspaper
to having an intimate discussion? This book helps
explain the fundamental differences between women and men and
offers insight as to why men act the way they do. By revealing how
to complement men's differences, the book empowers women to
improve relationships with all of the men in their lives including
friends, fathers, boyfriends and bosses. Health Communication,
www.hci-online.com
1997 Buy
This Book!
Diamond, Jed, Looking for Love in All the
Wrong Places: Overcoming romantic & sexual
addictions. Love addiction - millions of Americans have it,
yet no one will talk about it. Now comes the startling new
book that tells not only what it is, but how it can be overcome.
One in twelvee Americans is a love addict. It affects millions of
ordinary people. It splinters families. I ruins lives.
Interweaving personal stories from many clients, the author
explores why people continue to re-create relationships that don't
work - and tells how to break the patterns that turn the search
for romantic and sexual fulfillment into an addiction. He tells
how people get "hooked on looking for love," and their desperate
needs for security and control in order to protect themselves from
yet another broken heart. He gives specific practical advice
combined with a twelve-step recovery program to help love addicts
get free of the self-destructive nature of their attachments - and
finally find the healthy love they all deserve. Including a
revealing self-test to help readers determine their own level of
romantic addiction, this is that rare work: a book that just may
change people's lives.jed@menalive.com
Putnam, 1988 ISBN 0-399-13372-0 Buy
This Book!
Ellenberg, Daniel & Judith Bell,
Lovers for Life: Creating lasting passion, trust and true
partnership. Everyone Wants a Lover for Life. How do you
create a relationship so emotionally satisfying, sexually
ecstatic, and spiritually fulfilling that you wouldn't dream of
being with anyone else? Lovers for Life brings together profound
ideas and discoveries from various cultures and disciplines to
create a powerful blueprint for a successful, long-term
relationship. It is a straightforward and accessible users guide
to successful coupling -- and jubilant eroticism. Judith and
Daniel, professional relationship counselors and a happily married
couple, inspire, support, and challenge you to try new and
powerful ways of relating. They understand and address the
inevitable challenges you may face in your relationship:
communication barriers, emotional defensiveness, sexual shame, and
attractions to other people. They give you practical tools to make
your relationship truly flourish. In these pages you will find
dozens of masterful tips and exercises designed to bring out the
best in you and your partner. If you are single, this book
prepares you for a great relationship. You will find yourself
inspired by candid stories of couples who have gone through the
fires of conflict and not only emerged unscathed, but have created
the kind of relationships most people consider impossible. So take
the lid off your relationship potential and take on the challenge
of becoming lovers for life. Aslan Publishing, www.ashlandpublishing.com,1995
ISBN 0944031617
Ellis, Albert & Ted Crawford,
Making Intimate Connections: 7 guidelines for great
relationships and better communication. Frank and Frances
constantly "shoulded" on themselves and each other. Frank thought
Frances should do things his way. Frances thought Frank
should behave better towards her. Both believed reality
should conform to their desires. Their irrational wants
became unrealistic, absolutistic demands. As in so many marriages
where communication breaks down, the couple found themselves
creating and escalating a vicious cycle of put-downs, anger and
pity. There are one-up, one-down and peer partnerships. The goal
in creating better intimate relationships is to move toward a
'peer' or 'equal' partnership. The author has long focused his
owrk on the self-talk people use to disturb themselves. And
therefore you can also deconstruct and reduce them. This is an
irrational belief system based on unrealistic, illogical,
self-defeating demands, commands, shoulds, oughts, and musts such
as: I must always do well. Others must always treat me
kindly and fairly. Conditions must always provide me what I want,
the way I want it. Once you contruct dire necessities out of your
strong preferences, you are in trouble. Using the guidelines,
couples can learn to: Avoid blaming. Express appreciation
frequently. Avoid steady criticism. Give your partner the right to
be wrong. Reconsider your wants as goals that you may achieve
after. Packed with dozens of real-life couple vignettes, an
easy-to-follow review format and a "key" for understanding and
applying each Guideline, this book offers an objective perspective
that lets couples test practical suggestion and adjust them to
their own needs. Impact Publishers, www.impactpublishers.com
2000 ISBN 1-886230-33-1 Buy
this book!
Engel, Irv, The Real Deal: A guide to
achieving successful and real relationships. This book is for
everyone who wants to find long-term love and success in their
lives. You will learn: The basic principles of creating
long-term loving relationships. How to use powerful techniques to
further your career. How to use communication to recreate failed
relationships. How to creatively use anger to get what you
want out of life. How to bring romance into your life. Take an
adventure toward intimate contact with another human being. This
adventure may well be the most heroic, for it will engage you at
depths of your being that no other human endeavor can match. The
joys you can experience along the way can be exquisite,
representing the best that life can offer. The risks and
subsequent possibility of failure with their attendant pain are
also there. Either way, it is a journey that offers the chance of
truly feeling the full range of human emotions and unlocking your
full potential for creative happiness. Authorhouse, www.authorhouse.com
,
2005, ISBN 1-4208-3845-8
(See his column.)
Farrell, Warren, Women Can't Hear What Men
Don't Say: Destroying myths, creating love. This book
shows how to break through the invisible barriers that keep men
from expressing their deepest feelings and keep intimacy from its
fullest development. The author demonstrates how gender-based
anger at home and at work, omnipresent media images, and the
overall culture combine with men's own fear of expressing feelings
to misrepresent the inner and outer reality of men's lives. The
result is stereotyping, misinformation, widespread alienation of
the sexes from each other in both long-term relationships and
first-time encounters, unnecessary divorces, and both sexes' being
deprived of the intimacy they crave. Looking at the world from
both men's and women's perspectives, the author provides a
remarkable and easy-to-follow communication program that shows
couples how to move beyond the current tripwire assumptions that
lead to so much gender-based conflict and allows them to
understand and love each other more fully than ever. He has
discovered not what works in theory, but what works in life. His
methods are the culmination of years of real-life experiences with
thousands of men and women in workshops, groups, and seminars. And
you'll find that these methods that create love at home can also
create success and respect in the workplace. wfarrell@home.com
or www.warrenfarrell.com
.
Tarcher/Putnam, 1999 www.penguinputnam.com
ISBN 0-87477-988-X Buy
this book! See Warren's
Column.
Fein,
Ellen & Sherrie Schneider, The Rules: Time-tested
secrets for capturing the heart of Mr. Right. A simple
set of dos and don'ts, this book will lead you to where you want
to be: in a healthy, committed relationship. Unlike today's
haphazard dating customs, this book rcognizes certain facts of
life. That men know what they want. That a man is either attracted
to you - or not! That men want a challenge, not an instant or
easy victory. When you follow these commonsense guidelines, you
treat yourself with respect and dignity - and demand that men do
likewise. Although they sound old-fashioned, they encourage you to
lead a full, satisfying, buy life - outside of romance. Although
they seem tough, they will teach you how to accept occasional
defeat and move on. And although they require discipline, they
will bring out the best in you and in the men you date. The
goal? Marriage, in the shortest time possible, to a man
you love, who loves you even more than you love him. Whether
you're eighteen or eighty, a beauty queen or a women with ordinary
looks, this book will work for you. (Editor: The Rules
tells women not to tell their therapist they are reading it,
The Code says never to admit to a
woman there is a "code". Are either one healthy? And
let's add in Breaking the Rules by Larua Banks to that question.)
Warner Books, 1996 ISBN 0-446-60274-4 Don't
Buy This Book But If You Must!
Felder, Leonad, Wake Up or Break Up: 8
crucial steps to strengthening your relationship. We know,
deep down, that love relationships need our attention, and yet
there are a thousand day-to-day distractions that keep us from
focusing on ourselves and our partners - until that moment of
clarity when we finally feel the pain of a possible split. It
might begin as a gradual loss of day-to-day closeness, a pang of
being underappreciated, or a more significant waning of sexual
satisfaction. In this book, the author introduces us to eight
relatively small but hugely effective steps that have produced
giant leaps forward in the sexual and emotional lives of thousands
of couples. He provides practical insight into how to strike the
necessay balance between being too flexible and not flexible
enough with your partner. He explains why it's so important to
successfully make the daily transition from work mode to being
fully present, even if it requires a brief buffer zone of silence
before calmly reconnecting. In what could be called a "magic
bullet" chapter, he reveals that helping out around the house can
be the quickest and easiest way to revive lapsed passion. And he
offers thoughtful and proven advice on how to constructively
address the sensitive subject of differeing sex drives. With a
final chapter devoted to the sublime joy of long-term togetherness
and how to achieve it, this book provides both the motivation and
the means for making your relationship stronger than ever before.
Rodale Press, www.rodalestore.com
2005 ISBN: 1-59486-072-6
(Click here
to see his article.)
Fischbarg, Gabe, The Guide to Picking Up
Girls. An irreverent, definite guide to approaching,
attracting, and talking to the opposite sex - and getting her
phone number every time! You're at a party. You see a
sexy, beautiful woman standing by herself in the corner. How do
you approach her? What do you say? How do you get her
attention - and keep it? Packed with useful
information, practical advice, and provern techniques for
successfully picking up women any time, anywhere, this essential
handbook tells men everything they need to know to score with the
opposite sex. Whether it's a crowded bar or a noisy party, a club
or a wedding, a supermarket or a coffee shop...from breaking the
ice with surefire opening lines to finding out whether she has a
boyfriend. This book gives men the rules to make it with today's
women. Lively and engaging, it's the authoritative resource for
meeting that major babe. A Plume Book, www.penguinputnam.com
,
2002, ISBN 0-452-28357-4 Buy
this book!
Fisher, Bruce, Rebuilding When Your
Relationship Ends. It is said that it takes about a year, on
average, to get past the really painful, negative stages of
adjustment after a breakup. The author says it is important to
realize that the pain that follows a failed romance is real and
should not be ignored. "Pain is natures way of telling us that
something in us needs to be healed, so let's get on with the
healing." The route to healing requires dealing with denial,
loneliness and feelings of guilt and rejection. There is grief and
anger to overcome. One must learn to let go of the failed
relationship, develop a healthy self-concept, cope with the
inevitable lost friendships and the need for new ones, and
identify leftover traits that contributed to the collapse of the
last relationship. Rebuilding requires a reexamination of what
love is and the realization that only those who love themselves
are able to give and receive love. Trust must be reestablished,
sexuality needs to be seen honestly and in perspective, and
responsibility must be accepted. BooksWithImpact@compuserve.com
Impact, 1996 (See revised edition below.)
Fisher, Bruce, & Robert Alberti,
Rebuilding: When your relationship ends. It is said that it
takes about a year, on average, to get past the really painful,
negative stages of adjustment after a breakup. The author says it
is important to realize that the pain that follows a failed
romance is real and should not be ignored. "Pain is natures way of
telling us that something in us needs to be healed, so let's get
on with the healing." The route to healing requires dealing with
denial, loneliness and feelings of guilt and rejection. There is
grief and anger to overcome. One must learn to let go of the
failed relationship, develop a healthy self-concept, cope with the
inevitable lost friendships and the need for new ones, and
identify leftover traits that contributed to the collapse of the
last relationship. Rebuilding requires a reexamination of what
love is and the realization that only those who love themselves
are able to give and receive love. Trust must be reestablished,
sexuality needs to be seen honestly and in perspective, and
responsibility must be accepted. www.impactpublishers.com
Impact, 2000 Paperback. ISBN 1-886230-17-X Buy
this book!
Fox, Jennifer, Resolutions for the
Millennium. The year 2000 and beyond promises to be an
inspiring and reflective time, an opportunity to slow down and
evaluate where we are in life, and what we would like to
accomplish in the future. This book gathers together a range of
contemplative and creative goals, allowing us to consider the
possibilities. In this thoughtfully uplifting and lighthearted
volume are appealing ideas ranging from the spiritual to the
fanciful, from the childlike to the challenging. This book is
certain to refresh and revive those inner aspirations we all have
to lead richer, fuller lives. Andrews McMeel Publishing, www.andrewsmcmeel.com
1998 ISBN 0-8362-6985-3 Buy
This Book!
Gerstman, Bradley, Christopher Pizzo
& Rich Seldes. What Men Want: Three
professional single men reveal to women what it takes to make a
man yours. Men are easy to read once you learn their language.
Now you'll never have to wonder again with this honest, funny,
straight-talking guide from three professional men that reveals
not only what but how men think about women, dating, relationships
and commitment. Three single, eligible, experienved men break the
code of silence to tell you what really attracts men, how to avoid
gettng hurt, and how to know if he loves you...or if je's just
marking time. Here you'll find out how to tell the difference and
discover: whether he sees you as a "good for now" girl
or as a woman with "wife potential". The real meaning behind the
live "I'm not ready for commitment." How to deal with
your not-so-romantic boyfriend and cultivate his romantic
potential. When a man is using you for sex. How to really please a
man in bed. Why men cheat on women they love. www.harpercollins.com
Harper Paperbacks 1999 ISBN 0-06-109827-2 Buy
This Book
Glasser, William, Choice
Theory: A new psychology of personal freedom. Here
readers are offered a new and far more effective way to get along
with the people in our lives. Barring severe poverty or
untreatable illness, unsatisfying or disconnecting relationships
are the source of almost all crime, addiction and metal illness,
as well as marital, family and school failure. For progress in
human relationships, he explains that we must give up the
punishing, relationship-destroying external control psychology
that is by far the dominant one in the world. In one of this
century's most significant books on psychology, the author offers
choice theory, a noncontrolling psychology that gives us the
freedom to sustain the relationships that lead to healthy,
productive lives. HarperPerennial www.harpercollins.com
1999 ISBN 0-06-093014-4 Buy
This Book!
Glebe, I., Points: Women Have Them, Men Need
Them, The Relationship Survival Guide for People Who Don't Like
Relationship Survival Guides. For years couples have been at
war. Who left the seat up? Who dented the car? And
all this time, unbeknownst to men, women have been keeping score.
Until now. Intrepid research and lazy relationship partner reveals
the secret formula that has kept relationships off-balance for
years. Sometimes taking out the trash gets a guy "points" and
sometimes it doesn't. (Is it actually trash night? Did he
leave it on the curb or on top of her car while he shot some
hoops?) The accural of these nebulous points has determined
everything from whether a guy gets to watch the game in peace, or
attend a bachelor party. In Vegas. If bestselling titles like
He's Just Not That Into You helped you narrow the field,
The Rules brought you together, and
Why Do Men Have Nipples explained all those weird quirks
and smells, Points will make you and your partner (this one
or the next one) winners for life! Running Press, www.runningpress.com,
2008, ISBN 978-0-7624-3052-9 
Godek, Gregory, 1001 Ways to be Romantic.
Are you getting enough love, passion, fun, romance? Here
are hundreds and hundreds of ideas and resources for transforming
your relationship into a vibrant, exciting love affair. Flirt
shamelessly with your partner, IN PUBLIC... Write
I LOVE YOU with soap on the bathroom mirror...
STEAL a kiss, GIVE it back... Plus much, much more,
including gifts and gestures, setting the atmosphere, surprising
your partner and the author's personal notes on the best of the
best when it comes to romance. www.1001waystoberomantic.com,
Sourcebooks Casablanca, 2000, ISBN 1-57-71-481-9 
Godek, Gregory, Romantic
Mischief: The playful side of love. Get ready to
engage your playful side and act on a whim! From
outrageous gifts and spontaneous gestures to Valentine surprises
and everyday romance, this little book is filled with ideas and
resources guaranteed to inspire you and delight your partner.
Casablanca Press, www.godek.com/1001.html
1997 ISBN 1-57071-151-8 Buy
This Book!
Godek, Gregory J.P., 10,000 Ways to Say I
Love You. And say "I Love You" again, and again, and
again. This little book of love is the biggest collectoin of
loving ideas ever gathered in one place. Express your true
affection with secret love notes, perpetual bouquets, secluded
picnics, outrageous gifts...and 9,996 more ways to say
"I love you." Casablancea Press, 1991.
ISBN 1-57071-434-7 Buy
This Book!
Goldberg,
Herb, Men's Secrets: What every woman needs to know.
While this is a newsstand publication, it really falls in the
realm of a book. So, here it is. In an Answer type format, the
author addresses topics such as "What he won't say - but wants you
to know". "Why he won't open up." "Your man's top 12
blind spots." "How to handle his midlife
crisis." "Yes! You can change him." and
"How to get a commitment." Along with many other
topics. Globe Digests 1998
Goodman, Michael, Men-opause: The book for men. How to
support and survive your partner's menopause, improve sexual
intimacy and end up with a stronger relationship. Menopause
may be a problem for your sweetie and if it's a problem for her,
it's a problem for you! The author has been listening to
women for 35 years and he outlines the issues, explains the
physiology, acknowledges the crazies, identifies many things she
can do that help, shows you how you can help and advises when it
is best for you to get out of the way! Life does not stop at
50!! This book will help guide your mate and you through
these temporarily troubled waters towards upcoming decades of
health and enjoyment. Robert D Reed Publishers, www.rdrpublishers.com,
2007, ISBN 978-1-931741-85-9 
Grace, Jim & Lisa Goldblatt Grace,
The Art of Spooning: A complete guide to the
joy of snuggling and other simple pleasures. What exactly is
spooning? It's a kind of a horizontal hug, two bodies
curling up so they both fit perfectly into each other's nooks and
comby places-like two spoons in a drawer. Never spooned
before? Well, fear not. These experts will guide you
through the Standard Spoon for beginners and carefully lead you to
more complex and adventuresome spoons including the Chair Spoon
and the Artful Spoon (not for beginners), as well as Seasonal
Spoons for those holiday get togethers. Running Press, 1998
ISBN 0-7624-0270-9 Buy
This Book!
Gray, John, Mars & Venus in the Bedroom,
A guide to lasting romance and passion. Just out in paperback,
Gray assets that it is through sex that a man's heart opens,
allowing him to experience both his loving feeling and his hunger
for love as well. Ironically, it is sex that allows a man to feel
his need for love, while it is receiving love that helps a woman
to feel her hunger for sex. Certainly, a man can feel loved in
other ways, but the most powerful way a woman's love can touch his
soul and open his heart is through great sex. While other useful
books address the mechanics of sex, this addresses the mechanics
of making sure you have sex. Through new approaches to
communicating, the reader learns how to initiate sex in ways that
assure that both their sexual needs and the needs of their partner
are satisfied. HarperPerennial1995, 1997 Buy
This Book!
Gray, John, Mars & Venus in the
Bedroom: Relationship skills for lasting love,
HarperCollins, 1996
Gray, John, Mars & Venus Together
Forever: Relationship skills for lasting love,
HarperPerennial, 1996
Hollander, Dory, 101 Lies Men Tell
Women and why women believe them. How many have you heard?
Think you've heard them all? #3: "You're the only one."
#100: "Honestly honey, it's just for the guys - none of the wives
go to the conference." #11: "I'm ready to
make a commitment." #59: "You're wonderful; you deserve someone
better than me" #1: "I'll call you." #49: "You're the only one who
understands me." #38: "I'm going to leave my wife." #83: "No one's
ever turned me on like you do." That will give you some idea of
how hurt the author is. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to have a
clue why men have to lie in these circumstances. Because, if they
don't, the consequences are usually worse. Thank-goodness she
abmits that women lie too. Unfortunately, she didn't put that as a
subtitle on the cover. HarperPerennial, 1997 ISBN 0-06-092812-3
Buy
This Book
Joannides, Paul, A Guide to
Getting It On. This guide isn't like other books on sex. It
doesn't have pictures of male or female private parts that look
like they were taken from a cadaver and it doesn't hide behind a
wall of fancy sex terms or read as though it were written by Mr.
Rogers. This guide encourages you to explore dimensions of
sexuality that people in our country usually aren't told about -
from the emotional part of getting naked together to why a guy who
takes his penis too seriously might have trouble pleasing his
sweetheart. It covers subjects like hand jobs and heart throbs,
kisses above and below the waist, vibrators, friendship and even
sex on the interstate. But most important of all is the Goofy Foot
Philosophy which says that it doesn't matter what you've got in
your pants if there's nothing in your brain to connect to it.
Goofy Foot Press 1999 ISBN 1-885535-00-7 Buy
This Book
Justice, L. A., How to Read a Man or a
Woman Like a Book. Actions speak louder than words. The lips
may be making a promise, but is the body saying "no
way"? Learn how to interpret body language and discover what
people REALLY mean. American Media Mini Mags, minimags@globefl.com
(Available at grocery check-out stands.) 2002
Justice, L.A., Why Men Leave! and
How Savvy Women Make 'em Stay! Yes, some men do leave. But if
nearly half of all marriages fail, the other half get it right.
What's going on? The author asked dozens of experts on
love and marriage. Their answers will surprise you. They may also
change your life! Globe Digest Series (Available at grocery
check-out stands.) 1999
Kaganoff, Penny & Susan Spano Men on
Divorce: The other side of the story. Following the widely
admired Women on Divorce: A bedside compassion, this
collection explores from a man's viewpoint when marriages go wrong
and what it takes for a marriage to endure. Divorce is difficult,
painful, often lonely, yet it is nonetheless, a pivotal experience
shared by millions. These original essays probe the subject from a
variety of angles - political, ethical, religious, ethnic. They
bring a personal dimension to a discussion that men have probably
too rarely joined. From the ritual of Japanese divorce to the
cultural logic of infidelity, from a moment's glance of an ex-wife
in a parking lot to a last night of sex after the divorce has been
finalized, this book offers a window into the inner lives of men
and their experiences of domestic strife. Harvest Book 1997 Hard
back version Buy
This Book!
Kaganoff, Penny & Susan Spano Men on Divorce: The other
side of the story. Following the widely admired Women on
Divorce: A bedside compassion, this collection explores from a
man's viewpoint when marriages go wrong and what it takes for a
marriage to endure. Divorce is difficult, painful, often lonely,
yet it is nonetheless, a pivotal experience shared by millions.
These original essays probe the subject from a variety of angles -
political, ethical, religious, ethnic. They bring a personal
dimension to a discussion that men have probably too rarely
joined. From the ritual of Japanese divorce to the cultural logic
of infidelity, from a moment's glance of an ex-wife in a parking
lot to a last night of sex after the divorce has been finalized,
this book offers a window into the inner lives of men and their
experiences of domestic strife. Harvest Book 1998 Paperback
version. Buy
This Book!
Kammer, Jack, Good Will Toward Men: Women talk
candidly about the balance of power between the sexes. "This
book is a truly heartwarming experience for anyone who believes in
equality. It is a series of interviews wth women who are talking
openly about their perceptions of the balance of power between men
and women in society. The insight, sense of fair play, compassion,
and just common decency shown by the interviewees gives me hope
that the tide is turning in the war against pop-feminist
idological nonsense. Many of the women interviewed are in the
"helping professions", some of the others are attorneys or
writers. The common thread in every case is that they came to the
conclusion that, while feminism in its more positive forms has
indeed liberated women to realize more of their potential, much of
it has degenerated into an attack on men and an attempt to use
claims of victimization as a political weapon. Some of these women
acknowledge the tremendous sexual leverage that many women have
over men, and how this causes men to compensate by trying in one
way or another to even things up. This is a great book. It is a
must-read for any women who really wants to love men and know she
isn't alone, and for any man who needs to see that not every women
in the world is Andrea Dworkin." - Wilbur Wormwood. St. Martin's
Press, 1994 ISBN 0-312-10471-5 Buy
This Book!
Kasl, Charlotte, If the Buddha
Married: Creating enduring relationships on a spiritual
path. Filled with the same highly practical, spiritually sound
guidance that so clearly touched a chord with readers of If the
Buddha Dated, this new book is a fresh and inspiring guide for
anyone who wants to strengthen, deepen, or revitalize a
relationship. The author empowers us to create fulfilling and
vibrant relationships through a commitment to awareness, truth and
compassion. She shows how a "beginner's mind" can help us see our
partners and ourselves afresh each day as we learn to nurture our
commitment to each other. Marriage is truly a journey - combining
key teachings of Buddhism with elements of psychology and other
spiritual traditions. This book becomes a wise and trusted guide
through the joys and thickets of relationships that last and grow.
Penguin Compass, www.penguinputnam.com
2001 ISBN 0-14-019622-6 Buy
This Book!
Katz, Elliott, Being the Strong Man a Woman
Wants: Timeless wisdom on being a man. This book presents
the timeless wisdom men learned from their fathers - before the
era of the "absent father." Listen to men today. Does this sound
familiar: No matter how hard he tries to be nice and please
her, she's not happy. He works hard to earn a living, yet he's not
appreciated. He's in a relationship, and feels he has lost control
of his life. This book shares age-old wisdom on how a man can gain
respect, be appreciated and become a hero to the woman in his
lilfe. It explains why many relationships today aren't working and
what a man can do to make things better. Drawing upon timeless
principles that work, it challenges popular ideas and explains why
today's new age guy is frustrated and bewildered. If you're a
woman who wants your man to be stronger, get him this book. Award
Press www.awardpress.com
2005 ISBN 0-9736951-0-2 
Kingma, Daphne Rose, The 9 Types of
Lovers: Why we love the people we do & how they drive us
crazy. Take the guesswork out of finding, and keeping, the
perfect mate. Your eyes meet across a crowded room, chemistry,
fireworks, and suddenly, you've fallen madly in love. But then the
same qualities that drew you together are starting to annoy you
and even drive you apart. What happened to true
love? According to the author, there's more to a
successful relationship than sparks and high hopes. You have to
understand your own personality type and also recognize what type
your partner is or what types would be best for you. Are you a
"Fantasizer? Is he a "Cool Cucumber"? By exploring the nine
personality types, what they are, how they interact, and why
you're with the person you're with, you will discover the truth
about romance and learn to love even better. Conari Press, 1999
ISBN 1-57324-160-1 Buy
This Book!
Kingma, Daphne Rose, 101 Ways to Have True
Love in Your Life. The author has spent more than twenty-five
years as a psychotherapist helping thousands of people understand
and improve their relationships. She's written extensively about
love and relationships. In these pages, her eloquent wisdom and
compassionate insights offer guidance and sustenance on the path
to true love. In matters of love it's important to be in at the
beginning - loving ourselves. Practice trusting in love, and
believe that there's a person for you. Her sage words lay the
groundwork for finding love and helping love find us, and once
found, she offers a treasure trove of help for couples to reach
the deepests places of intimacy. Conari Press, www.redwheelweiser.com,
2005 ISBN 1-57324-256-X 
Kipnis, Aaron & Elizabeth Herron,
What Women & Men Really Want: Creating deeper
understanding & love in our relationships. When Kipnis,
author of Knights Without Armor, and Heron, a veteran
leader of women's empowerment groups, took a group of men and
women into the wilderness to live together for several days and
explore their gender differences, what happened on the trip reads
like a fast-paced novel. Amidst a variety of adventures, neat and
well-organized sociological insights collapsed, giving way to
unexpected, gut-level realities. Nataraj 1995 ISBN: 1882591240
Buy
This Book!
Kipnis, Aaron & Elizabeth Heron, Gender War, Gender
Peace: The quest for love & justice between women
& men. This book tells the story of a group journey
into the wilderness led by a woman and a man on a quest to build
bridges over the gender gap. The man, a leading voice from the
men's movement and the woman, a trailblazer for a new feminism,
guide women and men toward mutual respect, understanding, and
compassion in this account of a ground-breaking summit meeting of
the sexes. Through a series of adventures and encounters, the
participants learn how to communicate the potent depths of anger,
fear, grief, love and appreciation between women and men. They
also discover a way to create a map for future peace between the
sexes, a future in which women and men can recognize and respect
both their genuine differences and shared challenges. Weaving
together dialogues from late night discussions around the campfire
with judicious, well-researched references to scholarly texts, the
authors present a detailed and surprisingly optimistic portrait of
the potential for communication and personal growth between women
and men, growth that celebrates diversity rather than condemning
it. Provocative, powerful, and of great importance, this book
begins a new era of understanding and partnership between the
sexes. William Morrow, 1994 ISBN 0-688-11924-7 Buy
This Book!
Konell, Alan, Partnership
Tools: Transforming the way we live together. In the
past, people didn't need to know much to make their relationships
work. Families and society dictated the kind of relationships we
should have and what roles we should play in them. Unless we took
religious vows, society expected us to get married and raise
children. Men worked and provided for their famillies. women
reared children and cared for the home. No one needed to know how
to make a relationship work or how to rescue a failing
relationship, because no one was leaving. Relationships have
changed, and the rules have changed. We are now free to stay in
relationships or leave them; free to play whatever roles we
choose. Some men stay home with their children and some women work
outside the home. And we have a greater desire for emotional
intimacy, increasing the pressure on our relationships to be more
than they've been. This freedom and greater need for intimacy begs
new skills. This book provides a new set of tools for transforming
our relatinoships. The author describes a practical set of
distinctions that compel readers to create the kind of dynamic and
fulfilling relationships they've always wanted. This gives them
new ways to think about their relationships, leading to better
communication and increased compassion for others. In addition,
because these distinction are universal, they work with all kinds
of relationships - including marriage, friendships, relationships
with parents, children, siblings, relatives, and even professional
relationships. Hippo Press, www.hippo-press.com
,
2001, ISBN 0-9702992-0-6 Buy
This Book!
Kort, Joe, 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can do to
Find Real Love. Do you always end up with Mr. Wrong? Are
you constantly dissatisfied with your intimate
relationships? Has the passion between you and your partner
fizzled after just a few months? In his ground breaking new
work, best-selling author and gay-affirmative therapist revelas
his own Top Ten list on how you can make the best possible choices
in finding and keeping a partner. Among them: Discover how
what you hate can help you love; Learn how to disarm - not
strong-arm - your partner in communication; Know your sexual
shadow: and Become the man you were meant to be. By showing how to
look closely at the deepest sources of your wants and needs, this
book will help you achieve the kind of lasting close relationships
you deserve. www.joekort.com
Alyson Books, www.alyson.com,
2006, ISBN 1-55583-898-7
See Joe's most recent Column
here at Menstuff.
LaHaye, Tim, Understanding the Male Temperament: What women
want to know about men but don't know how to ask, Fleming
Revell, 1996
Lederer, Wolfgang, The Fear of Women: An inquiry into the
enigma of woman and why men through the ages have both loved and
dreaded her. In an important pioneering study, the author has
given us new insights into the relationship between the sexes.
Drawing on a wide spectrum of sources - archaeology, ethnology,
religion, mythology, art, literature, linguistics, as well as
psychiatry and psychoanalysis, the author attempts to show not
what women really are but what men through the ages have feared
them to be - a fear that even Freud did not choose to penetrate
and that has remained almost totally unacknowledged by
psychotherapy. The author's findings have importance not only for
clinicians but for all men who are gripped by the unreasonable
fears described in his study and for all women who are working for
liberation from male prejudice and domination. What both sexes
should try to achieve, writes the author, is not equality or
freedom alone but perfection of man's and woman's uniqueness.
Harvester Book, 1968 ISBN 0-15-630419-8
Lee, John, The Flying Boy
Book III, Stepping Into the Mystery: For sons, lovers,
mothers and wives. Why do relationships fail? What
could improve the likelihood of their success? What in
our relationships sets us up for disappointment and for
disappointing others? These are the principle themes of
the Flying Boy trilogy. The author examines his relation to
his mother and to his current lover, so like his mother, yet so
different. In a work of deep spiritual reflection and tenderness
he discovers why a relationship of 50-50 responsibility doesn't
work and what does, why one must learn their own "rhythm of
closeness", the "five mothers" we all have and how to deal with
them, and how to be really present to those we love and to life
itself. In this book, the flying boy comes to earth. And the
message he brings home is one important to every person born of
woman who aspires to achieve a fuller selfhood. Honey Creek
Publishing honeycreek@aol.com
1997 Buy
This Book!
Levin, Michael, A Man's Guide to Being a Woman's Best
Friend Buy
This Book! and 
A Woman's Guide to Being a Man's Best Friend,
Buy
This Book!. There's not much to say besides get both books.
Each is filled with reminders of the "little things" that put the
icing on the cake of relationship, "little things" that are so
easy to do that we forget to do them. "Little things" that, if you
did one a day, regardless of what the other person thought, you'd
feel better. This is a dramatic shift for this publisher who has
brought out some pretty divisive books about men in the past. This
doesn't forgive all, but it's a good start. Andrews
& McMeel, 1996
Levine, Wayne, Hold on to Your
N.U.T.s.: The relationship manual for men. Being a man is
not about maintaining control of the TV remote after dinner. Being
a man is a full-time job though, especially when you're married or
in a relationship. This book can help build a life that fulfills
both you and your partner by showing you how to confirm the ideas
and causes you support - your "Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms
(N.U.T.s)." Your N.U.T..s become the framework for how you conduct
your relationships, whether you're committed to spending more
one-on-one time with your kids or not hiding out at the office to
avoid problems with your wife. By laying down guidelines of what's
right and wrong, what you like and dislike, you will learn to
silence the little boy inside and become a strong, self-assured
man who is focused on creating the best life possible for you and
your family. BetterMen Press, www.BetterMen.org,
2007 ISBN 978-0-9790544-0-2 
Lieberman, Carole & Lisa Collier,
Bad Boys: Why we love them, how to live with them,
and when to leave them. The authors ask women: Is
your lover a Wanton Wolf, a Brooding Beast, an Adventurous Aladdin
or a Commitment Phobe? Men who are "mad, bad, and
dangerous to know" have been casting their spell over women
throughout history. But can these roguish fcharmers who know how
to arouse your desire ever fulfill your need for love and
happiness? The authors show you how to recognize the
many types of irresistible troub lemakers so clever at capturing
your heart. They also help you explore childhood events that drew
you to the wild and wicked man you love and determine if it's
possible to change his and your negative behavior patterns. With
wise advice and imaginative tips that really work, this insightful
book will show you what to expect from a relationship, leaving you
stronger and more capable of choosing the right man with whom to
share your life." Good backround research as a man to
understand this desire in many women and why they don't seem to be
available to men beneficial to them. Penguin www.penguinputnam.com
1998
Linquist, Luann, Secret Lovers: Affairs happen...how to
cope, Lexington Books, 1989
Lloyd, Joan Elizabeth, Totally
Private: Answers to the questions lovers long to ask. Got
a question on sex? The author has the answer! "Can
I get STD from oral sex?" "Is cybersex considered
cheating?" "How can my partner and I put the sizzle back into
our love life?" These questions - and countless others from
her readers - have inundated the mailbox of the author, one of
America's most trusted sex experts. Now she answers her most
frequently asked and provacative queries...from lovers of all
ages, passions, and persuasions. Have you ever wondered: How quick
is a quickie? Are threesomes possible in a loving
relationship? Does size matter? How can I approach my
partner about my bondage or fetish fantasies? Do women
ejaculate? Am I normal if I enjoy sex toys and kinky
games? The answers to these and other questions you've
always had about sex are all here. Share what you like with
your lover or your friends. Or keep it...Totally Private.
Time Warner, www.twbookmark.com
2001, ISBN 0-446-67718-3 Buy
this book!
Louis, Ron & David Copeland, How to Succeed with
Women. This is your road map to a woman's heart: 11
foolproof icebreakers for any situation. 10 secret places to meet
women. 8 keys to successful flirting, 7 can't miss tips for asking
a woman out on a first date, 6 keys to keeping a long-term
relationship happy, exciting and hot. 5 sensual experiences that
turn women on every time, and 3 keys to improving your sex life
dramatically. Parker Publishing www.phdirect.com
1998
ISBN 0-7352-0030-0 Buy
This Book!
Lowe, Paul, In Each
Moment: A new way to live. There is more joy
