Rape is Real to Me and Means More Than the
Facts
On January 18, 2015, on the
Stanford
University campus, Brock Allen
Turner, then a 19-year-old
student
athlete at Stanford, sexually
assaulted 22-year-old
Chanel
Miller (referred to in court
documents as "Emily
Doe"), while she was
unconscious.[4][5][6][1]
Two graduate students intervened and held Turner in
place until police
arrived.[1][7]
Turner was arrested and released the same day after
posting $150,000
bail.[8][9][10]
The trial concluded on March 30, 2016,
with Turner convicted of three charges of felony
sexual
assault.[2][3]
On June 2, 2016, Santa Clara County Superior Court
Judge Aaron
Persky sentenced Turner to six months
in jail followed by three years of probation.
Additionally, Turner was obliged to register as a
sex
offender for
life[12]
and to complete a rehabilitation program for sex
offenders.[3]
Turner was released after serving half of his
sentence for good
behavior.[13]
In December 2017, Turner appealed his sentence.
However, his appeal was declined on August 8,
2018.[14][15]
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People_v._Turner
The facts seem obvious! A 22 year old woman was
drunk and unconscious. A 19 year old drunk man,
Brock Turner, engaged in sexual contact with her.
Two other young men saw what was happening, and
intervened, holding the man, who sought to escape.
Turner pleaded innocent of multiple charges. A jury
found Brock Turner guilty on multiple counts. He
was sentenced to six months in prison, and served
three months before being released. Significantly
for his future, he is required to register as a
sex-offender whenever he moves (for the rest of his
life).
I see two contrasting perspectives on this:
1. A young man has already been significantly
punished for a poor choice he made, and should
not have his life ruined by continuing
punishment,
Vs.
2. A young woman was brutally sexually
assaulted. Her sister and she (and perhaps other
women) face life-long trauma which was completely
caused by the young man's actions. He has never
seriously accepted responsibility for what he did.
He has done nothing to show his concern for these
two women (and others who have been similarly
assaulted).
I find it difficult to see the young man as a
victim. He was on a swimming scholarship at
Stanford University. He contested the facts. He
sought sympathy, despite having done horrific
things to a woman. She did nothing wrong.
Brock Turner could have been sentenced to, and
required to serve 14 years in prison. He served
1/56th of this time! He did not gratefully accept
this. Instead, he appealed his conviction!
Additional quotes from the survivor of the
sexual assault.
On that morning, all that I was told was that
I had been found behind a dumpster, potentially
penetrated by a stranger, and that I should get
retested for HIV because results don't always show
up immediately.
My sister picked me up, face wet from tears
and contorted in anguish. Instinctively and
immediately, I wanted to take away her pain.
One day, I was at work, scrolling through the
news on my phone, and came across an article. In
it, I read and learned for the first time about how
I was found unconscious, with my hair disheveled,
long necklace wrapped around my neck, bra pulled
out of my dress, dress pulled off over my shoulders
and pulled up above my waist, that I was butt naked
all the way down to my boots, legs spread apart,
and had been penetrated by a foreign object by
someone I did not recognize. This was how I learned
what happened to me, sitting at my desk reading the
news at work. I learned what happened to me the
same time everyone else in the world learned what
happened to me. That's when the pine needles in my
hair made sense, they didn't fall from a tree. He
had taken off my underwear, his fingers had been
inside of me. I don't even know this person. I
still don't know this person.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/jun/06/stanford-sexual-assault-case-victim-impact-statement-in-full
Most people have been and are not seriously
impacted by the news of this assault and the words
of the woman who survived it.
A moderate number of people - have been and/or
are seriously traumatized by all of this. These
people will never forget! It may trigger - their
own traumas - from significant things that they've
experienced. The vast majority of these people are
and will be women and girls.
Others - will be or have been disturbed by this.
They differ from those traumatized because the
effect upon them will be substantially less, as
well as often disappearing - essentially being
forgotten.
Men, in particular, will be much more likely to
fit in this latter category, rather than the one
preceding it. Far fewer of us have direct ties to
what happened. Far fewer of us - go deeply into our
feelings - staying with them.
There are core systemic differences that we have
as - gendered people. While our life experiences
significantly differ from each other, we face some
basic differences - that are often gendered.
Example:
I, a man, am walking alone - in the dark - well
away from home - in an area that doesn't feel
safe.
Who do I fear?
Clearly - a male person who is probably
somewhere between around age 16 and some age - from
around 25 - to, in some situations - perhaps
someone in their 50's or so.
What do I fear?
Most vividly - I fear a male person with either
a handgun, or the appearance that he likely has a
handgun that I can not see. I fear that he will rob
me of my wallet, perhaps my cell phone or my car. I
fear that I could be killed - if he believes that I
am resisting him.
I can imagine trying to run away from him. If I
feel that he is after me, and I see a safe place to
run to, I may consider running.
Now, let's assume that instead of 71 year old,
white male, George, we are talking about a female
person.
What does she fear?
Well, she certainly could have a fear similar to
mine! Most likely though, the primary fear she has
is different! Her fear is gendered. She fears a
sexual assault, or a rape from a man or boy!
In my head I know that I could (also) be raped.
I don't seriously fear it, though.
Now - presume, that this hypothetical woman or
girl - has had an actual threatening situation in
her past. She may have been assaulted. She may have
feared being assaulted. Someone close to her may
have told her of a similar experience!
I can not know, particularly within my body the
fears that women and girls have - similar to what I
have alluded to.
Speaking of gendered differences, let's assume
that I have had a serious experience in my past,
where a partner, a female child of mine, my mother,
a close female friend or co-worker - or similar had
either been assaulted or felt in danger of being
assaulted. Let's also presume that she told me of
this experience in significant detail.
I can certainly imagine that I might seek
professional help with a therapist. I would likely
want to deal with intense feelings I had. I also
might not have others to talk with and want to know
how I could emotionally support this woman or
girl.
How likely is it that I, as a male, would
subsequently turn to active volunteer or
professional work, focused upon issues related to
sexual assault?
Perhaps, I'm off. I imagine a few, but only very
few such men - becoming active.
My sense is that it would be much different for
women, in similar situations. I believe that a
significant minority of comparable women would do
something substantial, related to sexual assault. I
also believe that comparable women would in general
sustain their work significantly longer, on
average, than men doing such work.
I can readily concede that gendered differences
will persist. Similarly, more Black People are
likely to work on racial justice issues than white
people. The issue to me is the size of the gender
disparities. 40 men, on average, in contrast to 60
women, would be "fully realistic". The reality,
however, seems to me to be far, far from this. I
see perhaps two men, on average, vs. ninety-eight
women, excluding for the moment the gender fluid
and non-conforming other people.
Lastly you said, I want to show people that
one night of drinking can ruin a life.
Ruin a life, one life, yours, you forgot
about mine.
All the crying, the hurting you have imposed
on me, I can take it. But when I see my younger
sister hurting, when she is unable to keep up in
school, when she is deprived of joy, when she is
not sleeping, when she is crying so hard on the
phone she is barely breathing, telling me over and
over she is sorry for leaving me alone that night,
sorry sorry sorry, when she feels more guilt than
you, then I do not forgive you.
Right now your name is tainted, so I
challenge you to make a new name for yourself, to
do something so good for the world, it blows
everyone away. You have a brain and a voice and a
heart. Use them wisely. You possess immense love
from your family. That alone can pull you out of
anything. Mine has held me up through all of this.
Yours will hold you and you will go on.
Most importantly, thank you to the two men
who saved me, who I have yet to meet.
Now - more recently - updates from: sfist.com/2022/08/22/stanford-rapist-brock-turner-goes-viral-again-on-tiktok-in-ohio/
In 2018, Turner also tried to appeal his
conviction on the basis that he was only engaged in
"outercourse" or "dry humping," but a judge shot
that down.
"Brock Turner is now living in the Dayton,
Ohio, area," says one recent Facebook post. "He is
frequenting bars in the area. Do not let him leave
with an intoxicated woman. Inform the women of who
he is. Inform the bartender, bouncers. Brock Turner
does not belong in public."
I try to seriously work on multiple issues that
concern me! I do not expect men to rush and join me
in my outrage - related to this horrible rape - and
much, much more! Similarly, I do not expect men to
rush and join me in my outrage - related to the
Dobbs - Supreme Court Decision. It overturned Roe
vs. Wade - allowing states to prosecute women,
girls, trans men and medical providers, who perform
and have abortions. Similarly, I do not expect
white men to rush in joining me in white
Anti-Racism trainings and work, supporting the work
of BIPOC - struggling to end systemic racism in the
United States.
I do hope that men - will listen and speak their
truths - related to these and many other issues.
Where we are now - two percent, I hope that a year
from now we will be at least four percent, and a
year later at least eight percent.
I hope that we will - move into relationship -
with other men - in doing our personal work
together. I hope that we won't rely upon others
to teach us! We can learn from them - reading,
listening, and much more - without draining them
(further). Black Women, white women, the
Queer/Gender-non-Binary People and other
"outsiders" - do The Work already.
We can be "in community" with each other
- and in the end - with "them" - as we become both
- "part of them" - and "outsiders who
support all".
If (when) we do this, we will learn that our
lives have much more meaning! If (when) we do this,
we will learn that we can be "healthy" physically
and emotionally! It is lonely - being a man! It
doesn't have to be that way!
I always try to be open to listening! You,
sharing your truths with me - helps me learn! I
have a lot to learn! I'm trying! Thanks!
©2023, George
Marx
* * *


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