Marxisms 2023-2   Discomfort may be helpful, not hurtful Lately, I've been reading a lot of writing where Black Women address racism, as well as sexism and the Patriarchy in general. It seems amazing how perceptive most of them are about we men, particularly we white men. The flip side of this is how miniscule our knowledge and life experiences are related to Black Women and Girls. Obviously, they need to understand us - to survive and try to move forward in our lives, while for most of us, their lives have little relevant and correspondingly little or no interest. Given how rapidly change is occurring, and how common it is for "the old" or "normal" ways and realities to become obsolete, it behooves us to become curious and listen much more frequently than we currently do. "Benevolence" often is condescension. We've grown up in a world, where we often relied upon relatively few, fairly narrow choices to be made. Did I want to focus upon science/math areas or liberal arts areas growing up or was it business? Which of three male national television icons did I get my news from? Now, as white, upper middle class, cis gendered middle-aged to older men, the "old" ways don't work for many of us. Where we have more than enough economic assets to easily live the rest of our lives, as well as a compassionate (generally) female partner who takes care of our emotional needs, we may be able to ignore much, and muddle through a little, such as not being relevant to our children and grandchildren. Where we are divorced, or in a challenging primary relationship, no longer have a large income or similar, we may find a lot of seemingly new challenges coming at us all the time. For me, for example, my "long lasting, mysterious cold", was a virtually 100% blocked artery, which regular exercise and a reasonable diet did not "prevent". For me, my intellectual strengths, kept me free of my heart and my very important, intense feelings, which I'm now learning to lean into and face and appreciate. There are a lot of reasons for us not to do more than dabble into anything "heavy" and to avoid risks and "the others" who are often invisibly around us. Commonly, we can move on, appreciating the privileges that we've had and continue to have, and live lives in our own "cocoons". We may be the "benevolent patriarch" of our family, doting on the children and grandchildren. We may get a lot of respect, particularly when we are polite and "normal" through work, and in other areas of our lives - whether it's through religious based community, participatory or spectator sports, cultural activities and/or other activities. This complacency may be challenged or completely shattered through massive changes in our lives, which we often have not anticipated. We may discover unexpectedly that our long-term partner is ending our relationship. We may be laid off from a long-term job. When we don't have close male friends who listen to our feelings, we may feel totally alone, unless a partner or other close relative is there for us. It seems reasonable for us to not take everything for granted in our lives! While we may anticipate that our world will not fall apart, we should recognize that things can easily change for the worse. If we are moving on a pro-active live path where we go into our feelings, we may begin to recognize the vast worlds beyond our day-to-day lives. Curiosity and learning about others may help open up our worlds - well beyond much that most white men see. Learning from others - leaning into things that may be challenging, can help us grow substantially. Through this, we may face pushback that can help us grow and learn a lot - beyond the book learning of much earlier in our lives. Some discomfort may be helpful, not hurtful for us. Lizzo - Wow! April 28, 2023. Seeing Lizzo perform for the first time this afternoon at The New Orleans Heritage Jazz Festival was an amazing experience for me! There were so many different aspects of the 80 minute set that meant a lot to me! Lizzo's music itself was and is moving and both deep and at times humorous and light. While some of her songs sounded faintly familiar, I don't know her music. The music and the entire show was significantly choreographed and was quite complex. Lizzo showed her excellence as a flautist on multiple occasions. She had eight young female performers who had various bodily movements, sometimes appearing to be dancing, but also other movements. They weren't thin, and they were mostly quite agile. Some of them sang, and those that did were quite good. The band was tight and quite good. Lizzo is much, much more than her songs. While some have a clear political message, with significant empowerment of women, often Black Women, there also is a lightness to some of the music. Her message is empowering to both girls and women. The clear vision that Black Women and Girls don't need to be thin, and can be sexual and strong is significant. Plenty of quite varied ages of girls and young women, both BIPOC and white, clearly love Lizzo and her music deeply. She can be sassy, can point her rear end at the audience without shame, and do much more, and her audience loves her for it. Men and boys also appreciate Lizzo, though many of them seem more to enjoy her, rather than adore her. Lizzo's political side is very significant! She brought in her political beliefs quite clearly and deeply - intertwined within varied parts of her show. A Gay/Lesbian/Trans flag draped around her body, speaking out against various oppression including racism, sexism, and various phobia is explicit, whether stated directly, or subtly. I was expecting a good show. I got much more than I expected. Moneywise - it was a clear "bargain"! There aren't that many such dynamic performers, who are excellent musicians - and so visible. MARSE: A Psychological Portrait Of The Southern Slavemaster And His Legacy Of White Supremacy - By: H.D. Kirkpatrick (Prometheus Books, 2022) This is an amazing book! It brings in a whole new layer (or way of explaining it) into understanding racism - especially for white people - and even more so for white men. It is scary reading! It is a “good” kind of scary! It helps me open up my heart - more and more to ponder the intersections of the power of elites. It shows how they play off the “little people” - against each other. It shows how, by our essential relative silence, we (,who think we are “better” than those “other “ white people,) acquiesce to their power. The book until its concluding chapter focuses historically on the Racist and horrifically pathological, criminal nature of slavery. It shows how relatively few major slaveowners deeply impacted the U.S. and the other major world powers. It paints a picture of “normalcy” that is highly disturbing. I think of the German People under Hitler and other pathological situations where self-destructive support by “the masses” - perpetuates and perpetuated deep oppression. Though the book doesn’t focus deeply on women who were slaveowners, it shows how some could be even more visibly cruel, than men in more than token cases. The incredibly important message - such as how - mainstream Christianity - was weaponized - by slaveowners and their wealthy supporters, is incredibly relevant today. We - who are white (particularly, though far from exclusively male) - face Huge Systemic Issues today - with many, many clear parallels to the worlds of the wealthy slaveowners of 1830-1861. It doesn’t take that much - to at least superficially see how the formal ending of slavery in 1863 and 1865, didn’t end the oppression of Black People. For most of us white people, we don’t live in a world where - reparations - Today - which really, deeply impact us for the coming years of our lives - seem critically important. We, the “normal” people, are similar to many police departments - where huge monetary settlements - Never result in individuals in the police departments, and the departments themselves- losing money from their income/budgets. We aren’t Accountable - and this failure - goes very far beyond simple basic monetary issues. Imagine - for example - that Black and Latino - women and trans folks - being the directors of perhaps 20-40% of the mainstream movies put out in 2023. Imagine public schools - (particularly those) which are majority, or largest plurality white, where in multiple disciplines - the foci - will substantially relate to Black, Latino and other immigrant related - themes, authors, outside producers of video materials, and much more. Multiply these examples - in many - similar areas, and we could have a far, far different wo We are open to tinkering with “the system”. We are resistant - where its impact seemingly may “hurt” us or may require us to give up substantial power and control now. HD Kirkpatrick - at the end of this wonderful book, opens up the door - for us to start the important conversations. He invites us to “walk the walk” - not just superficially appoint - an outside expert, and then minimally change things at the margins. From the book: For example, in October 2017 an African American attendee asked Alabama GOP senatorial candidate Roy Moore at a campaign rally in Florence, Alabama, when was the “last time” America was great. “I think” Moore responded, “it was at the time when families were united. Even though we had slavery, they cared for one another….Our families were strong. Our country had direction.”(10) The throughline is clear: “The collapse of the Confederacy and the end of slavery did not obliterate or even seriously challenge white Southerners’ views or the moral superiority or justice of their cause. Indeed the war strengthened these convictions.”(11). Many Americans - especially whites - are now seeing one of slavery’s effects in real time. We have been witnesses to frighteningly frequent brutal slayings of Black men and women by white law enforcement. The throughline of violence from slavery is that Black bodies have been - and are still today - frequent objects of physical violence at the hands of whites. This psychological autopsy of the white male American southern elite slave master clearly confirms two facts: One, Marse is not dead. He is alive, but not well. Two, features and behaviors of this historical class of slaveholders exist today in many Americans and are the overt evidence of the hidden wounds and trauma left by American slavery, an awareness of which is creating a seismic shift in our national consciousness. (p.231) Many white Americans, myself included, have deluded ourselves into thinking our psychological makeup bears little resemblance to the morally corrupt psychological framework of the southern racist slaveholder described in this book. Most, if not all, white folks have been complicit in pretending Marse is dead. We whites continue to enjoy the benefits derived simply from having white skin and Black people continue to fear and feel the vestiges of many of the attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors deeply ingrained in our white ancestors, whether they were slaveholders or not. (p.233) This book, along with various other important books, helps provide a pathway - for we white people, especially men, to start talking with each other. Will we do both the personal work amongst ourselves, and the incredibly challenging political work - to make serious systemic change possible? The Jury is out! Meanwhile, I recommend the book. It’s most easily findable - through the internet, not one’s local bookstore, unless one lives in Charlotte, NC - where the author lives. Gender Priveledge and More bell hooks labeled our system: white supremacist capitalist patriarchy. We can win reforms from this system. It'll take a strong committed radical response. We won our right to abortions free safe legal on demand for all in 1973 by organizing and building militantly with millions around the world. But governments can also again and again can chip away our rights like they're doing it now and abolish those rights like they want to now. It will take a workers/allies social revolution with us fighting for that to guarantee all our rights and freedom for all workers and all women. And where were we - the M e n? I can't seem to find how many women were in Congress in 1973, though this was the last time Margaret Chase Smith was a senator, and I believe she was the only woman in the senate then. Nicknamed "Battling Bella",[17][15] in 1970 she challenged the 14-year incumbent Leonard Farbstein in the Democratic primary for a congressional district on Manhattan's West Side. She defeated Farbstein in a considerable upset and then defeated talk show host Barry Farber in the gIeneral election. In 1972, her district was eliminated via redistricting and she chose to run against William Fitts Ryan, who also represented part of the West Side, in the Democratic primary. Ryan, although seriously ill, defeated Abzug. However, Ryan died before the general election and Abzug defeated his widow, Priscilla, at the party's convention to choose the new Democratic nominee. In the general election Priscilla Ryan challenged Abzug on the Liberal Party line, but was unsuccessful.[18] She was reelected easily in 1974. For her last two terms, she represented part of The Bronx as well. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bella_Abzug-- It would be foolish to say that there haven't been white men - who have been true leaders supporting Gender Equity. When, however, have their been white men - leading a push - to get fellow white men on board in seriously working for Gender Equity. 1. We - the white men - have often (perhaps generally) worked as "lone wolves". Where we build coalitions of white men, or primarily of white men, our issues are commonly things like: a. Being drinking buddies - and/or b. Sharing Sexual Lies and Innuendo - either putting down women or supporting other men putting down women and/or - occasionally: c. Scapegoating - others - Gays, Immigrants, Muslims… 2. Issues are important to us - when they have - "relevance". Let's look briefly at what is relevant to us - as men. Generally - relevancy has to do with either: a. Direct connection to us - Example: As the father of a teenage girl, we are concerned that she isn't raped, pregnant, whistled at or similar, and/or: b. We will - face serious pushback - IF we don't conform - Example: Multiple people, most notably children, have been killed, or seriously injured walking across an intersection, so we push for installing a stop-sign or light at the intersection. "I salute all those brave women of the vanguard… the old world ought to fear the day when those women finally decide they have had enough. Those women will not slack off. Strength finds refuge in them. Beware of them!… Beware of the women when they are sickened by all that is around them and rise up against the old world. On that day the new world will begin." Louise Michel -- Who have the men been of the Vanguard? Who have the white men been? I can think of a few, but mostly they are qualified heroes, with a "but", as in Bill Gates was, until he was exposed for who he really is. Barack Obama, a Black man, significantly influence by Michelle Obama, as well as their two daughters. Those who have deeply pushed, organized, and persisted - have proportionately been most prevalent in the work being: Black, Queer-Identified, Lesbian, not well-off Females (or "non-males"). They have many reminders of the importance of the issues, including confronting the Homophobia and silencing of Cis - Het - white Women. Where they haven't faced Huge Resistance from us - white men, it usually has been because we've not even seriously seen them, nor seem them as a threat. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. Hopefully the source is obvious to you! Let's excuse the word "men" for this moment. There was no mention of: 1. Landowners - generally of large amounts of land vs. the others - who were very poor to relatively poor, and certainly didn't have equality Or: 2. Slaves - who were counted as "3/5" of a person - at the insistence of the larger slave-owning (future) states of the South Men (meaning white men) (meaning well off white men - class), (meaning white - not BIPOC) - were the ones controlling - much of the power over others. MALE (gender) + WHITE + (race) + WEALTHY (or in that direction) (class): -- Those - who have - worked to eliminate the barriers have largely been those who have been oppressed. When will the time come - when we - the privileged, white men - not only acknowledge the truth of these statements, but/and - also take on the responsibility for being there - in highly significant numbers - in support of women, girls, trans/gender-non-binary - people - ++ Actively Supporting - not taking over from - the "others". I try to imagine a world - a real, actual world - where being: D I F F E R E N T - brings forth: 1. Curiosity - as opposed to - bullying, not - seeing/acknowledging, or similar, 2. A recognition - of the worth - autonomous status - of being oneself and: 3. A desire for connection - learning from, appreciating, feeling a tiny slice of the heart I am both - Privileged - being: white, male, cis, het, upper-middle class, educated, able bodied, adult and: Not- Privileged: - being: autistic (gender diverse) and Jewish, as well as perhaps "aging" or "aged". I try to not only acknowledge, but also to confront the privileges - I - and many others have - and to actively work towards others having the same privileges - equity - social justice. I recognize that the more I do, the more I want to and should try to do. I do fail at times! I do needlessly hurt others, at times! I honor - the discomfort I face at times, while not pretending that I am some kind of hero, which I'm not. The true heroes - don't seek - nor generally get recognition! They often do have something that many of us often lack. It is - community - true belonging - a spirit that reflects their hearts and souls! Depression has been My Middle Name Depression has been my Middle Name throughout much of my Adult Life. Fortunately - since 2017 - I've not felt it coming into my being - beyond odd moments - which have left me relatively soon thereafter. I'm no expert about what depression is, what causes it, or most anything else about it - beyond how it has affected me and how wonderful it has been to not have to struggle with it recently. Depression for me has always been a painful aloneness - when I've questioned much of my value - and been thoroughly uncomfortable. While I've never been, nor felt suicidal when depressed, I have questioned - whether life is valuable or potentially good during the worst of my depressions. My first conscious memories of depression are at age 18, when away starting my regular university study. During my childhood, undoubtedly, I was also depressed for significant period of time. Life as a child was lonely. Having insecure attachment with my parents - and feeling - Alone - without emotional support certainly helped me beginning - of Depression. When away at college - I lived for months on end - alternating my days - between - being among other people - trying to fit in (and failing miserably), and staying alone - apart - not trying to be with anyone beyond what I absolutely had to. I remember - sitting alone in Gordon Commons, the dining hall for the Southeast Dorms at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. A fellow first year student, who I'd seen previously, sat down at my table. I didn't say a word to her, nor she to me. I was a little freaked out several months later, when I learned that she'd recently married an older student, she'd evidently met after we were "together" - they obviously not having been in relationship for more than a few weeks, at best. The Aloneness - had been a key part of my life in general, most noticeable - when I was significantly depressed. Another - part - piece - related to my depression has been living in my head - in a world of "rationality" - with no spirit or heart - tied with being in a huge hurry - always, not being capable of "being with(in) myself". I remember - when traveling in New England just prior to the beginning of my second Men's Conference. A man, who unfortunately has since passed away, tried to build at least minimal connection, chatting over tea at his house. I thought then that it was clearly obvious what should be going on - we should be moving forward into our foci on various men's issues. He was there - inviting me into a common world of connection - and I was clueless as to how to - just be, to appreciate time with another caring man. Until recently - I've been in spaces - focused on - rushing ahead - not being in a space - of connection, caring - even at a "low" level - of potentially sharing music, poetry, discussion of a movie or really anything beyond Politics or Sports - in a very routinized way. Depression for me is a combination of Aloneness (extreme emotional isolation), together with a Deep Pain/Hurt - that is far beyond Momentary. Therapy - has not been much of an anti-dote - for Depression! It has helped me - cope with hitting bottom - stabilizing me in my discomfort. Underneath it - therapists - have failed me - being seemingly stuck - outside - staying with me - as I rationally explain - my situation - while not realizing a piece of my - emotional being - without connecting with me at all - related to the important parts of who I really am. Have I failed as the patient or client, have individual therapists failed, or has it been a combination of the two? The only way I can respond seriously to that question is to state that Only my last Therapist A, a Fellow Aspie, who treated me when we both knew that I was an Aspie, has been successful - incredibly successful - in helping me - understand myself. She's had three advantages: 1.) I've not been in a state of depression throughout my treatment with her, 2.) I've been in an amazing (for me) period of deep emotional growth during my entire time she treated me, and 3.) Us both being Aspies. Underneath it all, I think - guess only - that both A is an amazing therapist, with an incredible heart, and that we both were lucky to feel connected as we did. It was a process - of a "relationship" - we had a (professional) relationship - that was well beyond the Norm. What is puzzling to me related to the therapeutic relationships is how not a single therapist in individual and couple's therapy ever - brought up the issue - or mentioned that I might be Autistic. A new psychiatrist, inaccurately, and potentially very destructively told that he could say with 100% certainty that I am Not Autistic! (I hope that he is a rarity in his willingness to have the audacity to say almost anything has 100% certainty, beyond the obvious (e.g. we are currently in the same room when two people are alone - together in such an obvious situation.) Only my life partner - who was the one - who "exposed" - this obvious fact - reached me nearly three years ago so effectively. (see: https://www.georgemarx.org/2020/01/within-past-few-days-i-have-learned.html ). How could so many therapists - dealing with my various depressive states and relationship difficulties - never detect such a key part of my being? The only answer to this I have is that as a "minority" - with a potentially "invisible identity" - Neurotypical Therapists - don't, in general, understand enough to question - to help us find this most important part of our identities, as Neurodiverse People. I question - if most people - have a Curiosity - a General Curiosity - that take them perhaps "outside of themselves" - to the point whether they can pick up things that don't fit regularly into their - "head based" education and essence. This is only a guess? If this is true, what does it take, to have such a Curiosity? Does one need to be a significantly impacted outsider? Even some of them - no doubt are isolated emotionally - so that they can't expand their visions beyond the walls surrounding their emotional being. Depression is scary! Beyond the dangers, that it can lead to suicide, it can be extremely hurtful to many of us! It can keep us imprisoned - alone - totally incapacitated in numerous ways. Situational Depression - e.g. - an imprisoned individual - feels trapped in the prison - emotionally alone - can be horrible. Being stuck - in general - within a terribly intense, narrow - depression - for me, one lasting a good five years or so, is a huge waste of human potential. Well beyond that, it is and was simply very painful! I will stop - now - continuing this part of my journey - perhaps in the future. Sadness - A Very Different Perspective A California interior designer was convicted of first-degree murder Wednesday after prosecutors said she killed her butterfly conservationist stepfather when she found nude photos of herself on his computer. …Janks, who had been free on bail, was immediately taken into custody and faces between 25 years to life in prison for the slaying of 64-year-old Thomas Merriman, co-founder of Butterfly Farms in Encinitas. Merriman was killed on Dec. 31, 2020, not long after Janks found the compromising photos on Merriman's computer. Janks drugged Merriman and then suffocated him with a plastic bag and choked him to death, prosecutors said. A text message Janks sent to an acquaintance the day of Merriman's death, and shown to jurors, read: "I just dosed the hell out of him." Janks' defense insisted Merriman died from poor health and his own chronic drug abuse. Merriman's official cause of death was listed as an overdose of prescription sleep medication. ….Jurors also rejected lesser charges such as manslaughter and involuntary manslaughter, which could have allowed a judge to consider mitigating circumstances at sentencing. As it stands now, Janks is facing a mandatory 25 to life when she's next in court on April 3. https://www.yahoo.com/news/california-woman-convicted-murdering-stepfather-191104896.html Her mom and Merriman had already separated in the past, but the families reportedly remained close despite the divorce. Prosecutors told the court that Janks found her private photo in Merriman's computer when she went to clean his house after he was admitted to the hospital due to a fall. Merriman also allegedly used one of the inappropriate photos as the screensaver of his computer. Reports suggest that the photographs were reportedly taken with consent by Janks' former boyfriend nearly a decade ago. However, it remains unknown how her stepfather accessed the images. ….. Deputy District Attorney Jorge Portillo claimed that Jade Janks was "beyond freaked out" after seeing her private photos on her stepfather's computer and immediately plotted to kill him. According to the San Diego Union-Tribune, Janks admitted to being horrified by the discovery but denied the murder allegations. https://www.sportskeeda.com/pop-culture/who-jade-janks-case-explained-interior-designer-found-guilty-murdering-stepdad Reading the comments from the murder conviction on Yahoo, I noted that the comments varied from: 1. "How did he get the pictures?" to 2. "She didn't need to do anything to him." To 3. "She could have physically hurt him, but didn't need to kill him." Perhaps I'm prejudiced in this! I have a long history related to being active on the issue of rape, and the pictures certainly related to sexual abuse or potential sexual abuse. My 1987 writing: "Building and Sustaining a Healthy MeShn's Anti-Rape Group" speaks of some of this. Being Autistic - might also be relevant. I see things very, very differently! I doubt that the defense attorney "got it" - related to his client, Jade Sasha Janks. I have no idea whether the defendant "should" have killed her ex-father-in-law or not! I presume, and I could be wrong, that the defendant had very strong reactions - that she was enraged that her ex - had the nude pictures - one being on his screensaver - might have made a horrible situation for her - even worse. She may have had flashbacks - related to consenting to the pictures being taken in the first place. Janks may have been reminded of a variety of difficult feelings related to the relationship with this ex - itself. Do I know any of this? Of course not! I presume that: 1. Her likely killing of a man she knew very well who was in failing health and: 2. Her disbelief - and consenting to a defense as she did showed likely evidence of something - reasonably deep. I feel empathy for her! I am sad - at what she faces! There are no "winners" in this! Her likely jail time will hurt her (she was out on bail before her conviction). None of this will bring back or really "give justice" for the deceased, if there could have been any justice. I appreciate - that I can feel the sadness I feel in this moment as I write this! There is NO Comparison in this (which I may even forget about relatively soon) - to what I feel now - related to another death - that really shook me - of someone I also never knew (see: Lost in My Sadness and LET GEORGE DO IT!) Life is Great! (It isn't always easy, but it is most meaningful!) Toxic Masculinity - Privilege - I Melt With You Friends Ron, Jonathan, Richard and Tim, have known each other since college. They reunite in Big Sur to celebrate Tim's 44th birthday. Each of them enjoy some degree of professional success but are unfulfilled with their lives. Ron is a stockbroker, but is currently facing indictment from the SEC for embezzlement. Jonathan runs a medical practice, but all of his patients are wealthy drug addicts, he and his wife are divorced, and their young son identifies more with the stepfather. Richard is a published author, but has only written one book and now teaches high school English. Tim, openly bisexual, was in a happy relationship with a man, until accidentally causing a fatal car crash five years ago that took the lives of his boyfriend and his sister. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Melt_with_You_(film) I Melt with You - a 2011 film starring: Thomas Jane, Jeremy Piven, Rob Lowe, and Christian McKay - brilliantly portrays white male privilege and toxic masculinity. Drugs, drugs and more drugs and plenty of alcohol - unite the men - along with memories of their youthful indiscretions. Sexism and elitism - shines among these self-centered men. They speak of how they've made poor choices, yet strangely it is so unfair that they face accountability for some of their actions. One man has fleeced many clients of their money, but he is so, so proud that he's never been unfaithful to his wife. Another has had sex with many women, but he doesn't want to settle down with any one woman. What does it mean to be male - as 2023 is about to begin? What does it mean to be cis-gendered and upper-middle class? What does it mean to be white? An important part of all of this for me - is my relationships, both with the mostly younger men who have some significant things in common with me, as well as the ties that I build with others - locally and beyond - who have much different life experiences! As one who no longer drinks alcohol, nor consumes the mighty 420; who has never been an aficionado of tobacco, and is mildly lactose intolerant, I'm pinned in and out of some corners. I can see that I'm far, far from "better" than others. I recognize that significant addictions, and/or seeking bonding and connection through them, usually seems suspect. The four men in the movie are best of friends, but what does that mean? While they speak with admiration of each other, and take potshots, they don't probe deeply into their respective souls. Part of significantly caring about others is to ask questions - substantive questions, helping all of us to grow. Being a moderately privileged man has benefits that unfortunately commonly trap men like me! We can walk and even run into many different spaces, without facing resistance, or questioning. We can minimize and ignore the pushback. Much of the time we can easily avoid thinking about both the impacts of our actions on others, as well as their feelings. Seemingly easily we can show that we are relevant, and that we care. What do we need to do - to seem "good" to others? We need to work and make a decent living. We need to be present at meaningful events in the lives of our partners, children, parents, and close friends. We need to show respect for others, avoiding unnecessary conflicts, not being a bully, not being threatening. Our "goodness" is often shown most by our absence of having visible weaknesses, and not rocking the boat. In their heads, these men tried to be "good". They stretched boundaries. They strayed in ways that interfered with their well-being. Their downfalls resulted significantly from these types of things. Growing up we are often taught many horrible lessons! We learn to do, not to be. We learn to be independent, and through that emotionally alone. Our worlds can be very competitive, where we fear losing. Even when we seemingly are successful, there is always a "step" above us, a further challenge to pursue. Thrills, foolish risks, and pushing boundaries to show a supposed lack of fear, are sometimes necessary to show our buddies we are manly. If we are an athlete, we need to standout as an individual, being the top batter, pitcher, shooter, runner or whatever. Our individual statistics define our identity. Teamwork often is less important. Being visibly successful is very important! Our girlfriends need to have the perfect curves and thinness. When we are gay, our boyfriends, or the man we are with in the moment, needs to be young and cute, or buff, or visibly supporting our youthfulness. -- There are other paths we can take in our lives! We can be on a path towards comfortable and meaningful masculinity, rather than toxicity. We can work on our childhood traumas, recognizing the importance of our personal growth. We can embrace becoming the men we respect as equals. Connecting deeply with other men is important, regardless of our sexuality. Listening and really hearing others is important. Sharing in caring ways is important. As we grow positively, we can explore more deeply the worlds beyond our immediate reality. How do many women find community in ways that differ from what we are used to? How is it that they emotionally caretake for their friends, families, co-workers, and more? We can choose to dig deeply into our emotional journeys! I am white, upper-middle class, cis-het, Jewish, autistic, and more. Growing up autistic, I also had insecure bonding issues with my parents, which further isolated me emotionally. My family valued and embraced being "different" - which in a few ways was incredibly wonderful. I learned to be anti-racist, and to care about the rights of others. I learned to think for myself, and not feel pushed to agree with others. I also learned that life was nearly only learning and intellect; totally being in my head. My emotional journey was stunted, particularly diverting me from working on important personal issues. In my late 60's, I finally started to learn to love, and care for myself. This allowed me to begin to love and care for others, and to connect much more deeply with their journeys in life. This has helped me avoid serious recurrences of depression, which had ruled over much of my life previously. Doing mutual aid work - significantly different from "charity" - has helped me blend my personal life with my political - activist core. I can see the importance of using my personal work, in building my journey beyond - my immediate self. Reproductive justice is a core concern of mine! My direct, personal ties to abortion and some of the other major parts of reproductive justice is limited. I see how reproductive justice gets at the importance of (for example) Black, female, queer identified, working class women, and their issues. I know virtually nothing of a world where teenage girls might not go to school, because they can't afford disposable and/or reusable menstrual products. Part of my self-education is learning about these types of issues. One trap, I am seriously trying to avoid! It is easy to isolate myself in seeing "one answer" to the issues that I face. I can say, for example, that "the personal work is the important thing". I could also (instead) say: "the political work is the critical thing", when the intersection of both of them is most important! I can also say that "racism" or "sexism" or "the patriarchy" - are where ALL my focus must be. While perhaps, depending upon how it is defined, "the patriarchy" may encompass much of this, climate change isn't directly related to the patriarchy. I can and do try to support the work of others on climate change, while focusing most directly on anti-racism and reproductive justice work with white men. We can do a lot more towards building a socially and economically just world! I find meaning in this work. I hope to reach others and work with them supporting the efforts that so many others are already doing! Thanks! Repression Isn't "The Answer" In 1822 the Denmark Vesey slave insurrection was planned in Charleston but was thwarted. Nearly three dozen people were executed. Erskine informed us that “thirty-five Blacks were hanged and more than forty sent to the Caribbean or to Africa.” (40) Historian Lacy K. Ford added that the Vesey insurrection revitalized the “colonization movement” among Southern whites, as a possible means of colonizing free Blacks and troublesome slaves as a way to enhance white security.(41) The net effect of the Vesey revolt changed many white Charlestonians views of management of the enslaved. As Stampp said “After the Vesey conspiracy, Charlestonians expressed disillusionment with the idea that by generous treatment their enslaved ‘would become more satisfied with their conditions and more attached to whites.”’(42) In other words, enslavers ramped up greater repressive actions dropping the paternalistic pretense that slaves were family. Berlin noted that “white supremacy manifested itself in every aspect of antebellum society, from the ballot box to the bedrooms. MARSE: A Psychological Portrait of the Southern Slavemaster and his Legacy of White Supremacy: H.D. Kirkpatrick, p.151-2 I see clear parallels as to how denials of and retaliation against “socialists” and Black People are framed today with paternalistic moralism. A more vivid parallel exists with the Israeli “Settlers”, Government military, and police responding to actions related to Palestinian People. Blowing up houses, indefinitely holding people without charges, private roads and checkpoints slowing and stopping movement in the West Bank and similar is recognition that the Palestinians are Not accepting how they are being treated. Collective punishments and actions far more extreme than actions - retaliating for what Palestinans have done reflect the reality of “Jewish Supremacy” in Israel. The United States Government and lesser powers support what goes on, similar to how non-slaveowning white Southerners, and Northern powerful interests supported slavery. In all these situations, the fears of those with the seeming power dictates systemic repression. Repression works often in the moment, but is not a likely long term successful strategy. In the end the repression usually fails, absent a HUGE massacre that tries to eliminate “the problem”. We white men don’t want to surrender our power today! Slaveowners didn’t surrender until the end of the Civil War, paying a huge price for their resistance. The Israeli Jews - eventually are likely to pay a terrible price. In our fears of (another) Holocaust, we make another disaster for us - much more likely. It is scary to believe in Peace - Lasting Peace! It is the only path, and its dangers are far smaller than the (current) “realistic alternatives”. Keeping our heads in the sand - and not proactively working for justice is destroying the United States. Hopefully more of us worldwide, as well as locally, will learn and act upon the truths before it is too late! XXVI - Much Better - Embracing My Discomfor When should I embrace feeling uncomfortable or otherwise out-of-sorts? I’m afraid. I’m feeling exhausted. I’m feeling pressured by others. I’m feeling angry. I feel like I don’t belong here. I feel too old (or too young). As a man, it feels uncomfortable being among so many others who aren’t men. If I don’t pay attention constantly, I lose track of what’s being said. I complimented them, so why are they criticizing me? Why am I being asked to leave? - I face a lot of situations where I feel I’m an outsider. Others often welcome me. Sometimes I even feel embarrassed by their positive words about me which don’t feel deserved. In such situations I can feel “in” sometimes, and as an outsider at other times. Validation does feel good! There are plenty of times where I feel like an outsider. Sometimes I deal with my discomfort being a silent observer. At other times it feels like I babble on endlessly. Often in such situations I recognize my discomfort, noting that I was talking “too much”. Being uncomfortable can be really horrible in some situations! Hearing of horrific acts of others - cruelty - sadism - troubles me greatly! Eva explained. ‘You’ve created a big problem for her.’ ‘What?’ ‘You were educated abroad, your English is fluent, you hold a higher position than hers, you make more money than she does, and she can’t handle it. You’re not the Arab she’s been told about, the backward, illiterate savage who lives in a tent and keeps camels. She doesn’t know what box to put you in.’ (p.348) (Stranger in My Own Land: Palestine, Israel and One Family’s Story of Home - Fida Jiryis) I am bothered greatly - by the obvious oppression that Palestinians face. Fida Jiryis, and fellow Palestinians, deserve respect. As a Jew who cares, I’m particularly troubled by how systemic oppression is glaringly visible in much of such personal stories. I’m also troubled sometimes because of the impact of my words upon others. My intent may have been good, but when another person is hurt by what I’ve said, it doesn’t feel right. Additionally, I sometimes really screw up in various ways. Regret is most appropriate then! I have a privileged life in some very important ways. The most important person in my life lacks some of the most important types of privilege that I have. My significant privilege impacts my feelings and thoughts more and more over time. Working as an abortion clinic escort in Chicago was very meaningful for me. I felt uncomfortable there for multiple reasons! Being a cis male in a female dominated environment often made me feel uncomfortable. Chatting with other escorts often felt awkward. My poor social skills frequently embarrassed me. More significant were the feelings that arose watching a lot of the girls and women entering the clinic. Seeing the fear in their eyes made me very uncomfortable! Seeing the look of physical and emotional exhaustion in those early Saturday mornings brought significant discomfort. - I can be very uncomfortable dealing with the entire breadth of reproductive justice issues. Working on them can make me extremely uncomfortable. I am a Total Outsider! I know very little! The “experts” are 99.9% women - a lot of them Black Women - a lot of them Queer and/or Trans. I make mistakes. I’m inefficient. I see urgency in the work. Few men, particularly white men, are visibly, significantly supporting the work. Our invisibility tacitly supports the mounting efforts to greatly expand the patriarchal control of women and trans people. BIPOC - already greatly oppressed, face greatly increased pressures each day as we move forward. Decades ago we should have begun serious work! Nearly all of us are either totally inactive, or doing very little. Patience is Not my strong-point! This is all very uncomfortable for me! My feelings are intense! While I don’t feel guilt or shame, it’s not that far away! - This type of discomfort feels most healthy! I want to model such behavior. It is important to me that we privileged white men take such things deeply into our hearts and spirits. We, the privileged white men who say that we care, should behave very atypically - now. We should be: 1. doing the personal work, 2. building our political work, and: 3. delving deeply here - learning more and more. I am trying to expand my horizons as I move forward! I am significantly expanding my efforts. Being an ally - as an outsider - is important also in my Anti-Racism work, as well as in my solidarity work in support of Palestinians. Such discomfort is personal in my life. My partner is Black. She faces racism every day of her life. Yesterday - she asked the medical assistant (BIPOC) whether the physician she was about to meet was “a good white doctor”. She wasn’t referencing his “medical competency”. )Black women are 30% more likely to die in childbirth than white women (when taking class into context). Hypertension - is more likely. Subconscious (often) stereotypes persist in the minds of white medical providers. Racism and sexism - needlessly kill many people who don’t deserve the systemic oppression that they face. Living can be dangerous! As a white cis man, I can easily be oblivious of Black People, women, Queer/Gay/Lesbian/Trans/ Gender-Fluid People. Yes, I was held up at gunpoint twice - many years apart - both times by Black Men. I feel very safe in our house in a diverse, working class neighborhood. The others in our household, both Black, don’t feel safe here at all. This is understandable to me! I couldn’t possibly imagine - having experienced, as a child, someone trying to burn down our home- because we (they) were a Black Family proximate to white people (not Black People). Walking alone in the dark, I look for (possible) women walking alone towards me. I don’t “need” to cross the street, but I choose to do it. I’m not ashamed that I’m a man. At the same time, it’s no simple - “right/wrong” type of binary set of choices. When I start to feel relaxed and comfortable - for more than a relatively briefly, I try to reflect. What is really going on? Often - it’s just they way things have been. At other times I realize that I’m “coasting”. I’m not being in the space I want to be in. I want to be present - recognizing and reacting and listening and trying to grow. Generally, this requires me to be in some discomfort. When I’m not really present, my “detour” - is probably “normal” for most of us. Our - “coasting” - commonly shows how unexceptional we are. It may come from basic apathy - not caring (enough). It may come from the blinders - we willingly accept and live with. It may come from our narrow world of “necessities” and “pleasures”. Whatever our excuses may be, we often are in a calm, relaxed “world”, oblivious of the rising, raging waters, that are significantly attacking and threatening to destroy - those - “others” - we barely see, if we see them at all. - A different world - is the world - of deep trauma. When I was mired in depression - especially my longest and deepest depression, I had no capacity - for really being, and living a meaningful life. I was mired in the bottom of a deep pit - that seemingly had no exit. - There is the world of the artist, as well as the world of “leader” - whether through business, a privileged servicer - such as the lawyer, the politicians and their enablers, those “successful” in the military, and/or the high level government employee - and more. In such worlds - there is often - “the ends justify what I do”. This really is: “don’t rock the boat” Or, more explicitly expressed as: Don’t make me uncomfortable. I can, and will, shut you out of my life. Why threaten our relationship? Who wins? - These paths are different from “the worker bee”. He may be in-between or near the bottom. His privilege may be far less than ours/mine. At the bottom - are the really deeply “imprisoned”. They may be deeply medicated by prescription medicine. They may be regularly at the bar as soon as the work day ends, escaping “reality”, drowning in their drinks. They may be loners - emotionally detached from others. - I’m troubled by those of us who lack real power, because of our laziness, lack of initiative, and/or our low level fears. We may be mired in our personal work - narcissistic in its depths. Many of us - are “good people” - who mean well - and seemingly do positive things. Such things tend either to be superficial - never threatening to bring us into more than token discomfort. We may flip-flop between serious work, “attacking”, and then shortly thereafter “pulling back” - into “safety”. We learn to rationalize ourselves, our station in life, our essence. Our spirit - may be a sparkler - bright for a few seconds. It lights us up strongly, dying down , disappearing within a minute or two. It might, instead, be a “commercial premium bond” - so, so safe - nearly all the time. We, of course, are rarely taught by our parents and formal schooling - to be - what I believe we should be. We are taught to excel in school, in sports, in the arts and similar. The success we learn to seek is based upon lots of money and lots of respect. It is very narrow! We are “the hero” - not the builder and sustainer of meaning- of community depth - and/or of a strong spirit within us. - I deeply welcome the wonderful examples I see around me! There are incredible, wonderful people! They nurture others. They build - depth - helping us move towards meaningful change. They inspire us - towards a world of respect, caring and a deep love - that embraces a just, fair, equitable world.   I am trying to grow! I find meaning - deep meaning (some of the time). I try to remain in my path - especially when it shows itself as a part of this world, I so admire. I try to acknowledge my mistakes. I try to learn from them . The harm - I cause is (hopefully) minimal. The young child - has great potential. As an adult - I hope I am regaining - some of my depth - that I lost - early in my life. Healing my trauma is important. My trauma came from my early life. It also came from the deep traumas of my ancestors. We can seek being present. We can deeply listen to others. Their journeys are (also) important. It is challenging. Discomfort - can - (for some of us) - be a blessing. It is important, and meaningful for me! XXV - Much Better - Cay Today had Meaning I can't exactly Explain Was it a swizzle stick Or A Sparkler Shining in the (my) Darkness Twasn't one thing - Exactly Twas - Feelings Generated - from a Spirit Expanding Being Differences Celebrated Commonalities - Noted The Depths of the Mood The Depths of Much More I'm Fascinated Myself - Feeling: a little bored with myself Not - that I'm necessarily boring But the Tiny Bits of the Journey I know Next to Nothing About Fascinates Me - understanding a little of it Not - Exposed to it and Most Probably Never will see more of it Perhaps, but Not Likely Curiosity for What? For the Spirit A wisp of Smoke A sliver of gently flowing Water Curiousness -deep Curiosity - EmPuzzlement - UnRaveling, Sliding - Down Being - Down Includes - (seeking) Depth Finding More While Seeing That - the More That is There The Longer the Journey - Lengthens Broadening, Expanding, sometimes Imploding Sometimes - softly turning Inward to Find Not a Clue What Noting The Significant - Magnificent Modest - Trust I can't Understand - Nor See but I know it's fully there Imperfectly Perfect Being Seeing Listening Feeling Into - the Sunset K - sharing - not necessarily relevant - hopefully Not Inappropriately Intrusive - 3/18/2023 Fida George, this is too much ????- I really don't want you going out of your way so much! It's a lot of work - ask me ?? (Facebook message from Fida Jiryis to me - my response follows below - followed by my book review of her book.) Fida, I seek meaning in my life. With meaning - comes: grief, anger, frustration, as well as joy and happiness and much more! I'm almost 72 years old. I grew up in an Anti-Racist, progressive household - that was also dysfunctional and horrible for me in other ways. I first arrived in Israel on a ZIM - ocean going boat from Naples to Haifa when I was almost 12 years old. I remember that day and the next morning. My father moved from Berlin to Cincinnati - in 1927 when he was 9 years old. He saw many of his relatives for the first time since 1927 then in 1963. You can see - if you look on the attachment of the wealth of my great-grandfather - who sold his bank to Deutsche Bank in 1904 or so. My "Tante Rifkah" - my great-aunt - scandalized her father by coming to Palestine as a single woman in about 1919. Her husband and then her oldest son - owned orange groves - much land - you KNOW - the story beyond and then as well. My brother was named after a relative Daniel Eliasberg - who was killed in the Naqba. SY Agnon - Israel's first Nobel Laureate - married a younger sister of my grandfather. My grandfather moved to Jerusalem in 1963. I saw my paternal grandfather for the last time in August, 1968, when I was a last minute replacement - taking my maternal grandfather - on his first trip to "Israel". We were the first Jewish tour to stay in East Jerusalem. I left our hotel in the evening - in the dark - walked to the King David Hotel - where I met a young woman - (I was 17, she was perhaps 20) - who was the only other tour member - who was within 40 years of our ages and we walked in the Old City. I wasn't scared - in the dark - in East Jerusalem. The Old City was fascinating to me. There was still a lot of merchandise from before the 1967 - slaughter. Our tour - took us to some places - that later on were not visitable by Jewish tours. I remember the Palestinian boys - seeking a little money from us - as our bus stopped in their town. On later visits - I was introduced by a cousin (much older a generation older than me) - to Gerschom Scholem - a noted Kabbalist Scholar - in Jerusalem - not long before he died (he came in 1925) - from whom I heard stories of my family. He had known my grandfather in Berlin just after World War I - and knew many other relatives of mine. I also - had a memorable visit on a later trip with another cousin who owned a - custom made - dress shop in West Jerusalem. She told me a story that I want to share. Her husband and she had this dress shop dating well before the Naqba. Their customers - were wealthy Palestinian and Jewish women. In 1967 - an old "Arab" man came into her shop and asked for her husband. She told him that he had died and he began crying. He had been the porter for the dress shop - until the Naqba - placed him in "Jordan" (The Old City) - where he still lived. This man insisted - that whenever my cousin came to the Old City that he would carry her bags for her. He would NOT take any money from her! I don't know if my words mean anything to you or not. I am crying as I write. While I may not "owe" you anything, I have a HUGE debt to your people! My family never had any USian slaveholders. None of my family was in the United States prior to 1900. My family directly and indirectly has supported - the Settlers of 1918-9 - through the present. I can NOT possibly do "too much" for you! I am doing it for myself! I'm not - feeling guilt or shame. I am feeling a deep sadness and a deep feeling that what little I can do - is Not Enough. I will do what I can. Please - tell me if I do something wrong! Living in discomfort - related to this is important for me. My most major work is Anti-Racism and Reproductive Justice Work. Please read the quote below - which was and is very prophetic! Thank YOU very much for your kindness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! George - see below: https://www.georgemarx.org/2022/12/palestine-israel-judiasm-posts-links-my.html https://www.georgemarx.org/2021/06/reclaiming-judaism-from-zionism.html “In March 1919,on the eve of the post World War I Paris Peace Conference, ‘Julius Kahn, the German-born Jewish congressman from San Francisco, delivered to President Wilson “A Statement to the Peace Conference” endorsed by 299 Jews. …[T]he document denounced the Zionists for attempting to segregate Jews and to reverse the historical trend toward emancipation.’ Its signers ‘objected to the creation of a distinctly Jewish state in Palestine’ not only because they feared it would jeopardize the status of Jews like themselves in the home countries, but because they found it ‘contrary “to the principles of democracy’ to elevate Jewish immigrants over Palestine’s Muslim and Christian native inhabitants. They explicitly denied ‘the existence of ethnic ties among Jews’ and ‘asserted their wish not to see Palestine “either now or at any time in the future’ become a Jewish state.’ They petitioned instead for Palestine to be ‘made into an independent , free, and democratic state that would not recognize any distinctions of creed, race, or ethnic descent among its citizens.’ “ (18) (p. xii) How True these words from 104 years ago remain true!!! Stranger in My Own Land: Palestine, Israel and One Family’s Story of Home is an incredibly moving, powerful story that will move all besides die-hard supporters of Israel, who won’t listen to any message incongruent with their perspective. Fida Jiryis tells her story in a deeply personal way that brings up nearly all the issues relevant to what has and continues to go on. She humanizes and criticizes many, including Arafat, Jewish Israelis, as well as fellow Palestinians, including herself. Jirysis has a perfect right to be bitter and angry. She takes her anger, and uses it to try to reach us Jewish Americans and many others - who could choose to listen. She cares about others, both near and afar. Fida Jiryis is one who remains an outsider wherever she lives and whatever she does. She is fluent in Hebrew, English and Arabic. She has seen so much! She has learned so much! It goes well beyond “facts” - and does include a lot that is factual. What is so difficult for me to acknowledge, is that for so - so many - her words and she don’t matter! The Palestinian leadership that she seeks, has largely been obliterated by well over 50 years of murders, assassinations, imprisonment, exile and much more. She asserts the obvious, that The Palestinian Authority and Hamas are both corrupt and ineffective. Her father, a former Arafat advisor, a lawyer educated at Hebrew University (in Jerusalem), perhaps is no longer perceived as a threat. He is now 85 years old He lost his first wife to a political bombing in Beirut - which was at a minimum, supported by the Israeli Government. His second wife, a younger sister of his first wife, and and the author’s second mother - was deeply loved by Fida Jiryis. Her death of a heart attack at 57, while kidney disease and diabetes ravaged her body, no doubt was really “caused” by the pressures of living as a Palestinian Israeli citizen in Israel. When forced to live for several months in Safed in the mid-1960’s, unable to do his normal work as a lawyer, Sabri Jiryis, Fida’s father came into a local bookstore, filled with works of noted Zionists: The titles were by Theodor Herzl, Leon Pinsker, Moshe Hess, Moshe Lilenblum, Asher Zvi Ginzberg (Ahad Ha’am), Zvi Kalischer, and Max Nordau. Sabri bought one book, read it that evening, and came back the next day. The books were small and focused upon the thought behind the movement. They were written before the First Zionist Conference in 1897. On the third day, he asked the shopkeeper: ‘Can you sell me everything on this shelf?’ … Sabri bought more than 20 books. (p.110) 1982 - in Lebanon: It went on for two days. While the Israelis kept guard outside the (note: refugee) camps, about 350 Palestinians and Lebanese were butchered with knives or gunned down as they pleaded for their lives and for their loved ones. (p.218) The death of Fida’s mother: No one anticipated the force of the attack that took place. As the employees were coming out, a car carrying 550 pounds of dynamite exploded outside, setting the building on fire and blowing the windows out of nearby apartments. (p.222) (note: Jirysis’s father survived the attack while in the same building they both worked at) My father went to the American University Hospital, where the ambulances had taken the dead. When he walked into the lobby, he say my mother, lying on a stretcher. She had lost her life. (p.223) Fida Jiryis learned as she moved from Lebanon, to Cyprus, to her parent’s village in Israel, to Canada, and then to Ramallah, on the West Bank. She noted: Yet, the Druze did not gain much from their allegiance to Israel. The state did not treat non-Jews with equality, even if they served in its army. The majority of Druze lands were confiscated for Jewish use, and the state demolished homes in Druze villages where building permits were denied - just like it did in other Palestinian communities. Their neighborhoods were congested, underfunded ghettos, like those of Christians and Muslims. (p.298) Equality? Who is kidding who? ‘A few Arab boys were working in Atzmon for a while, but some people were upset and made them leave. And for a few days now they’ve been throwing stones at our cars as we pass. It’s really stressful!’ ‘Why were they fired?’ I asked. ‘Oh, you know…’ she looked uncomfortable, waving her hand. ‘Some people just don’t want Arabs working in the community.’ (p.320) I guess it’s really tough to be Jewish - in Israel!’ Eva explained. ‘You’ve created a big problem for her.’ ‘What?’ ‘You were educated abroad, your English is fluent, you hold a higher position than hers, you make more money than she does, and she can’t handle it. You’re not the Arab she’s been told about, the backward, illiterate savage who lives in a tent and keeps camels. She doesn’t know what box to put you in.’ (p.348) Are we talking about apartheid South Africa where we united to take away “white power”? Is this Mississippi in the early 1960’s? No - this is what Palestinians must live with over and over and over and over again. The Settlers rarely, if ever, are punished! Palestinians - nearly always! His mother fought with the assailants and the child managed to wriggle free. But, in the early hours of the morning, a group of Jewish settlers kidnapped, tortured, and burned alive another boy, Mohammed Abu Khdeir. (p.410) Chuck Schumer and Joe Biden endorse Israel and condemn the Palestinians - even more so now, than when these atrocities happened! It has gotten much, worse, the natural progression - from the past. The recently elected Israeli Government wasn’t in power yet, when this book was completed. The Palestinians didn’t push Anti-Semitism upon us Jews for many centuries as the Europeans and Russians did! The Palestinians didn’t kill six million of us - as the Germans, and their collaborators did! We have been traumatized and need to heal ourselves! Until we do so, we will persist in committing Apartheid - my word, not Fida Jiryis’s. She is remarkably patient - seeking to meet on Zoom with us Jews, who support her cry for justice! Watch Peter Beinart of Jewish Currents interviewing her on February 17, 2023 at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxMzA7LjQ8s . Maybe then, you’ll make the extra effort to buy this book. Bookstores won’t carry it - because they would have to sell it well above “list” for it to be commercially viable. It is well worth the effort! I got it one day after ordering it. This is an incredible book! The occasional odd typo - can’t detract at all - from the incredible heart that Fida Jiryis has. Her research for this book is excellent. Her father and others in her life are and were real - caring people like her. You won’t be disappointed! I HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH, but DOES SHE HAVE the RIGHT to BREATHE?! The laws give me a lot of rights, but - The impacts of how I use those rights Can vary greatly I can speak out for someone else "You know, I think you hurt her feelings, Though You might have meant well in what you said" and/or "I think you girls really did a great job tonite!" Spoken by a woman among other women Might be totally fine But If I, a Man said those same words, One or more of my friends Might say: "You have some nerve, Calling us 'girls'!" (whether to my face, Or - Once I left the room) I have a perfect right To put some of my feelings out, Even my truths "He showed how deep His heart is, His empathy, His Caring Was Very Clear to me" When - Am I Curious and Concerned Listening, Really Listening? When I do that, and I do, a few times, err You, Or a Friend Or Ally Can bridge the gap Bringing us Together When I listen Really Listen I can learn - a lot Whether it's "knowledge" or a piece of your spirit The wonder That You Really are Deeply In Freedom of Speech Can Provide A Lot of Growth for Me It can Also Help Me Love Myself and/or - You - A Diversion: Two Young Men Entered the Train to the Airport One - accompanied the Other The Other - in Loud Voice Spat Out A Litany of Profane Language - It was Amongst (near) - Us Men But In Was Clearly - Too Close Literally and Figuratively to Two or More - Women Who are not Dogs, Nor Farm/Yard Implements Used to gather hay - or similar The Aggressiveness The Words Were an Example of - "Freedom of Speech" I can not know The Impact - This Micro-Aggression Strongly Gender Based Stressing - How Victimized Our Aggressor Was (in his mind) Not By the Individual Women in the Train Car But By ALL - "of them" (in his apparent pain) I have been - "assaulted" at Gunpoint Twice Though Never Physically Touched - (then) I Do NOT However Face The Life Experience of Repeated Extreme Expression Of Words - Very Strong Words That Feel Threatening Unkind to my Soul But - aren't threats "really" to My Body There aren't Figurative Gut Punches That Don't Attack My Actual Gut I Am white I Am male I Am upper-middle class I Am in Relatively Good Health I Am Cis - Straightish Who is "SHE"? Has She Faced "freedom of speech" That belittles Her In multiple ways Frequently "Y'er Cute" "Would You like to Come Home With Me?!" Is she whistled at, frequently? and That May be Besides All The Unwanted Touches Can She Breathe? Is She Able to Live a Life of a Normalcy That Isn't - with an "*" *"Yes, but…" - I Can't Know More Than Snippets Of What It is like to be: Female Black Gay/Lesbian/Queer Gender-Fluid/Trans Differently Able In Constant - Physical or Emotional Pain A Survivor of Abuse - Is My Freedom of Speech A Freedom to Be Silent To Oppressions? To "Not Know" or to Not - Choose to See or Not - Get Involved???? What is Freedom of Speech? Does it Matter - Who it refers to? Does the Impact Matter - Upon the Other or Others? Is "Responsibility" the Key Word? or Is a "sorry" - ok - then or Later? I Have Freedom of Speech! Or Do I? Can you or they - Breathe? - I Can't Say for Sure- but I Have to Make Choices and I choose - My Actively or Passively Being - Or seeming to Be Who I am Or Who I really Want to be! I Don't Know, But I do Try And I hope you do - Also! ©2023 George Marx *    *    * Contact Us | Disclaimer | Privacy Statement Menstuff® Directory Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon Clay ©1996-2023, Gordon Clay