Mentally Managing Wifes
How can I mentally-manage my wifes choice
I don't know what you mean by "mentally manage
celibacy", but frankly, that's not the issue at all
Your wife doesn't have the right to be celibate!
If she wanted celibacy, she should have never
If she needs celibacy for some medical reason
(and it's temporary) that's one thing - and
frankly, so rare that I'm not going to deal with it
in this message. On any other hand, read on...
When you took your vows during your wedding, you
likely promised to "...forsake all others..." In
other words; you promised that you wouldn't have
sex with anyone else. The problem with that promise
is that it's based on an assumption; another "vow"
as it were: that your partner would be making sure
you had the sex you needed in order to maintain the
level of relationship-promise a marriage
You see, this is a vow just as much as forsaking
all others is a vow.
If your wife is now choosing celibacy - and the
reason (other than as I've already stated) is
totally irrelevant - then you no longer have the
responsibility to live by YOUR vows either! Thus,
you SHOULD NOT "mentally manage" this! In fact, you
should be one damn, pissed-off guy! Youre
being cheated on by your wife!
As I've already stated, your wife does not have
the right to make the decision for you or your
marriage. If she's having libido problems then:
1) Get her checked out by a doctor to determine
why that's happening. If it's a medical issue, the
doctor can help her and your problem is; for all
2) If not medical, she needs to seek some
emotional counseling to determine if her libido
problems are mental/emotional instead. If so, the
doctor can again help her here.
3) If neither of these things, then this is a
choice - and one she has no right to make.
Likewise, you can't demand sex from her, but you
can do this instead:
Explain to her that she has a responsibility (a
"promise") to you and your marriage. If she's
unwilling to uphold her responsibility, then she is
giving you clear and specific permission to get
your sexual needs met outside the marriage.
Further, she needs to understand that if; by
finding this new sexual partner, you also fall in
love with that person, this sham-marriage will be
over and she'll have to accept that fact knowing
that she created it.
Don't "mentally manage" something so ridiculous
as celibacy. You have rights here too if only
you'll stand up for them.
© 2010, Dr. Dennis W.
Other Relationship Issues,
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Relationship is a pervading and changing
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people wherever they go, whatever extreme they run
to. - Euroda Welty
Dr. Dennis W.
Neder is the author of Being
a Man in a Woman's World
I and Being
a Man in a Woman's World
II. Have a love, dating,
relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can
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