I have been dating my girlfriend for over 5
years- since my senior year of high school and her
junior year. I've graduated from college and she is
about to. She is the only girl that I have
I've always had girls as friends but never
relationships with them. Its not that I am
interested in someone right now, but I seem to be
finding myself attracted to some of her friends and
other girls that I meet lately. I find myself
wondering if I've missed out on anything by not
having dated more, and had more relationships.
I love the girl that I am with and wonder if I'm
just looking around at all my friends who have
dated several girls, and continue to do so, or
whether I should consider myself lucky for finding
my girlfriend when I did in life?
First of all, the answer is yes - you've missed
out on some things by having stayed with your
girlfriend for the last 5 years. Of course you've
gained some things too. The real question is what
side of the balance is better?
If this is the only girl you're ever going to be
with the rest of your life then you're in good
shape. You've become an expert - on her. However,
that also means that you've haven't learned much
about women's ranges and trust me, thats one
Women have all sorts of dynamics that you simply
can't read in a book and understand. You need to
experience many of them in order to get a sense of
just how that is.
If you had come to me 5 years ago and asked if
you should enter into a long-term relationship with
this girl, I'd have told you "no". You're going to
miss out on far too much, especially considering
that you're just been through college. Look at all
the girls you had access to right there. Each one
of them was an education in and of itself.
There's a reason why you don't spend your entire
college career in one class. You need lots of
subjects in order to get the knowledge you need to
be successful in your chosen field.
I can't tell you whether you should break up
with your girlfriend or not as I don't know you or
her or the relationship. What I do know is that
you're always going to wonder what you missed out
on. Perhaps you can handle that or perhaps you
can't. Only you know the answer.
If you're not sure, I suggest you either
down-size or break up your relationship and start
getting some of that experience you missed. If
you're sure, then simply focus back into the
relationship itself and realize that you're going
to be attracted to other girls too, but that your
relationship is what's important to you.
© 2009, Dr. Dennis W.
Other Relationship Issues,
* * *
Relationship is a pervading and changing
mystery...brutal or lovely, the mystery waits for
people wherever they go, whatever extreme they run
to. - Euroda Welty
Dr. Dennis W.
Neder is the author of Being
a Man in a Woman's World
I and Being
a Man in a Woman's World
II. Have a love, dating,
relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can
write to him by going to: beingaman.com/ask_question.asp
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