How Do I Start Dating?
Doc, you gotta help me!
Im a 19 year old male, single and I
haven't dated much. Ive only been in one
relationship and am now looking for a woman to be
with and I just don't know where to look or even
how to approach someone. My female cousins say to
go to the movies, the mall, etc. but that
doesnt tell me how to find someone, approach
them and ask them for a date!
Where do I go from here?
Let's start here: learning to find and approach
women isn't some magic trick. It's just a skill
like any other skill you learn. The problem is that
you have to learn it! Very, very few guys actually
take the time to learn how it's done and thus,
spend years of their lives failing and eventually
settling with only what they have dropped in their
In fact, so many guys actually write to me
asking for that very thing - how to get women to
fall into their laps, do all their work for them,
etc., etc., that it's no longer funny!
Here's the reality: just like animals we have
our own mating and dating rituals. You want to
learn how these work and then know where you can
bend or break those rules to your advantage. If
that seems calculated, in fact it is!
Here's a summary of the basic skills you
1) How and where to find women that match you
well, and knowing how to figure out which ones
2) Knowing how to begin the set-up
3) How to perform the initial approach
4) How to create initial interest
5) How to get a conversation going
6) How to build rapport and connection
(absolutely critical because this leads directly to
7) How to illicit the sorts of responses you
want based on what you want to accomplish.
Specifically, there are only 3 goals in the
approach: digits, and impromptu date or sex.
8) Knowing how to close for your specific
9) How to move things forward after the initial
10) How to set up the first date
11) How to build even more rapport and
connection on the date
12) How to "convert": dates to sex, sex to
relationships, relationships into stronger
There are other steps in between and after these
That may seem like a lot to learn, but in fact,
it's not. It's all part of a system you already
have built right into you! What you don't yet know
are the ways to bring those things out and manage
them to reach your goals. This includes things like
confidence, sense of humor, expressing power,
The bad news is that I can't possibly teach you
all these things via these messages. The great news
however is that I don't have to. All of this is
outlined very clearly in my books, "Being a Man in
a Woman's World I & II". Think of these tools
as your textbooks into this game; how to play it
and more important, how to win it.
This is why you get non-answers from your
cousins by the way! They tell you things like "go
to the mall" because they sincerely want to help,
but just don't know how. Interestingly, women don't
know how to approach other women! They don't have
to do this, they don't learn the skills and they
don't have those natural hunter-instincts built
into them. They have very different ones however
and you want to learn these as well since you'll be
dealing with all of those as you learn your side of
Bottom line is this: just like you need to study
the craft you plan to do as your career, you need
to study this craft as well. The great news however
is that once you learn these things, those skills
will be with you the rest of your life. Now just
where do you think you're going to spend the
majority of your quality time - working behind a
desk or at some job that gets repetitive and boring
or in the arms of some girl that you love and that
loves you because you know just how to be
everything she ever wanted?