a Man


Dumb Games – and the Girls That Play Them


I have a question about girls that play “hard to get”. I know you tell guys (and girls) not to play this game, but I’ve read other articles that say that girls should do this. What’s your take on that?



The "other side" is bullshit. Here's why:

1) What's the difference between some girl that plays these games and a girl that is simply not interested in you? Answer: nothing - they seem to be exactly the same. Why would you waste your time on someone that isn't interested when there are so many great girls out there that are?

2) Playing these "dumb girl games" ("DGG's") makes you play your hand and keeps the girl from doing the same. Thus, you have absolutely no idea where she's coming from.

3) In reality, girls that do this are never of the value they want you to think they are. In fact, the vast majority of men that ever do get with these girls realize they weren't worth all the effort in the first place! Consider this: a girl can either put all her effort into becoming a great partner for the guy she wants to meet or she can put almost no effort in and play these stupid games. Which girl would you rather be with?

4) Game-players should just carry two signs around their necks:

a) "I don't know what I'm doing. Feel free to come play me, use me and dump me."

b) "I'm all-game and nothing more. Please don't expect too much from me because if I had any real skills or real value, I wouldn't need these games in the first place!"

5) Ultimately, this is about power - who has it and who reacts to it. Power is the #1 most important thing that women find attractive in men. Powerful men don't play these games with girls. They decide what they want up front and find women that will give it to them. Seriously: do you think that Brad Pitt or Sean Connery or anyone that already has the power would play these DGG's?

6) These games were originally forged during a time when dating was very different - as I said, during the time of your grandparents. Gender roles were very different for instance - and so were expectations. Girls today have a real sense of entitlement. They actually think that they deserve men that are in the top 5% of every category when they, themselves aren't even in the top 50%! They want to "date up". Men that are willing to play these games, prove that they aren't in the top 5%. Thus, they lose value and in the vast majority of the cases - the girl too.

7) Frankly, all of this is pretty humiliating! Why would any self-respecting man accept being put through all of this in the first place? Answer: he wouldn't. Only men that lack self-respect do this. Further, by actually playing the game, you further erode your own self-image because you always wind up feeling like an idiot for getting played!

8) What most of the dumb girls don't understand about this is that there are actually guys that WILL play these games with them - willingly! The problem is that these guys aren't into the girls at all. They are into the games. Thus, as soon as they "win", they bang the girl and then dump her looking for someone else to play them with. These girls get very jaded very quickly and actually begin blaming the guys instead of the game!

9) There are so many BETTER ways to deal with women! This is a loss-leader from the very beginning and just goes down from there.

10) As I said before, this all comes from a time when things were very different. The so-called "experts" in those articles don't know at all what they're doing or recommending. They heard it from someone else and simply vomited it back up as their own. Thus, they don't even know why this stuff doesn't work and just go around doing damage to those people that actually buy into this ridiculous crap - all without having any real tools to teach.

11) Most guys today don't know these games, don't know how to play them and don't know why doing so is such an end-game. Again, a power and value loss.

12) When a girl starts on this path, how does she ever get off of it? If she just "comes clean" she seems like she was lying about things all along - and then becomes a girl you can't trust anyway. If she never lets on, you'll lose interest pretty damn quickly. Why would you continue to take this sort of rude beating over and over again when there so many smarter - and frankly, much, much better - girls out there? Answer: you won't.

Do I need to go on?

Best regards...

© 2010, Dr. Dennis W. Neder

Other Relationship Issues, Books

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Relationship is a pervading and changing mystery...brutal or lovely, the mystery waits for people wherever they go, whatever extreme they run to. - Euroda Welty

Dr. Dennis W. Neder is the author of Being a Man in a Woman's World I and Being a Man in a Woman's World II. Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to him by going to: for answers. Check out the discussion group at: . Stay tuned for our new Internet TV Show - BAM TV - starting soon!

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