Get Going, Get Confident
With Valentines Day coming up lately I
have been noticing like most single guys how much
this day sucks when you are well single. However
due to a severe lack of self-confidence and a habit
of picking the wrong type of girl I was thinking
that it would be best to ask someone who has
knowledge of this issue a few questions:
1. How does one build up the confidence to talk
to a girl that they might be interested in?
2. Is there a way to at least get a small
feeling that this girl might be the kind of girl
that "you just know will be trouble" (ex. control
freak, for lack of a better term "whore," or worst
of all one who just feels sorry for you)?
3. Finally would there be anything else you
would add to help me find someone who would at
least give me the time of day (I'm not the most
attractive guy in the world so I need every trick I
Frankly, V-Day sucks when you're in a
relationship or married too, but I digress.
To your questions:
1) Lack of confidence isn't a condition - it's a
passing event and that's exactly how you need to
think about it. Consider this: when you're sitting
around having dinner with mom and dad, do you lack
confidence? What about when you're hanging out with
your buddies. Do you feel unconfident then?
Of course not.
The reason you think you lack confidence is
actually pretty simple: you actually lack
education. That's a very different thing than
lacking confidence wouldn't you say? More
important, it gives you a direction; a plan,
because once you gain that education, you're
problems with confidence are going to be all but
Think about this. Let's say that you knew
exactly what to say and what to do when you were
around beautiful women. You would no longer have to
worry about coming off as insecure of lacking
confidence because you'd already have the answers.
Isn't that a very different way to live than what
you've experienced up until now?
So, the answer to your question is simple: gain
education, turn that into experience and you'll
lose the problems with confidence; pure and
2) Absolutely there is! I talk a lot about how
to spot different "female conditions" in my books,
"Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II". Most
important however isn't avoiding these types of
women at all; it's seeking out the ones that fit
Let's consider that point for a moment.
If you're spending your time trying to avoid
certain women, you're actually missing all the
great ones that are coming around you. Your mind
can only focus on one thought at a time. You need
to be focusing on exactly the type of women you
want to attract rather than those you want to
avoid. In order to do this however, you need a
clear plan; a road map to follow. This comes from
creating clear, specific relationship goals. If you
don't have these, then the first woman that walks
by is the "right one" simply because she fits your
LACK of planning. Thus, your concern about avoiding
the wrong women - it actually fits in perfectly
with your (lack of a) plan!
3) Your looks have almost nothing to do with
your success with women. That is another waste of
energy to think so. My own research and that done
by countless others continues to bear this out.
Women rate other things as far, far more important
than your looks! In fact, do you know where women
place it in the order of importance? Number 8! Get
that - 8! There are seven things that are MORE
important than how you look!
It's those 7 things you need to be focusing on,
not the 8th most important thing! So, what are
those 7 things that are more important? Simple: 1)
power, 2) confidence, 3) sense of humor, 4)
"genuiness" 5) masculinity, 6) conversation skills,
Every single one of those things are elements
you can work on and improve easily, but again, it
takes a concerted effort and a road map to get
I strongly encourage you to gain all of these
things - and to learn how women REALLY think, speak
and act rather than trying to impose your own
beliefs on them and think that's going to help make
you successful with them. It won't. Go take a look
at my books. They are geared toward getting you to
all of these things in the most direct and
straightest path possible.