Maybe I Can Just Bore Her Into Liking Me?
First off, I'm 21 and I stay near a pretty small
town thats big enough for a WalMart but the
only "mall" in town has maybe 8 stores in it. Yeah,
its THAT small.
I got a girl's number a while back. We've only
had maybe two real conversations during the last
semester of college: one in person, and the other
where we found out we have a lot of the same
friends. Even with these few interactions, when I
asked for her number over Facebook, she gave it to
Of course, I wanted to get hold of her and ask
her to hang out or go eat or something, but as I've
said, we haven't had too much time interacting with
each other and Im afraid of that sounding too
much like a date and scaring her off. I hate that
this sounds like a dumb thing to say, but I was
wondering how should I approach this?
I mean, I haven't talked to this girl a lot, so
I was figuring calling her and asking would put a
large amount of pressure on the both of us and seem
too much like I'm asking for a date instead of
something casual. That being said, I've thought
about texting her and asking instead to alleviate
that whole dating, but naturally, this seems like
the cowardly way of doing it and it also seems like
she'd either think I was being scared or not
valuing her that highly enough to call her, as far
as a romantic interest is concerned. Another option
I thought of was maybe waiting until college
started back up in a couple of months and trying
something very casual. But maybe that's acting too
So what should I do? As lame as it may sound, it
feels weird to ask her to eat or hang out or
something similar? If not, should I call or text?
Or better yet, should I just wait until we come
back to school to try something a bit more
Sure - plan to hang out instead, bore her to
tears and have her go all lukewarm on you instead.
What a great idea!
Where in the hell did you get the idea that
setting up a real date with a girl would scare her
off?? That's absolutely ridiculous! Buddies and
cowards "hang out". Men take women on "dates" - and
women damn-well know it.
Here's what you're about to do: you're about to
try to hold all your "dates" via Facebook thinking
that you'll somehow lure her in. That NEVER works!
The internet; and in fact, all technology (texting,
email, IM, etc.) is a filter. It strips potential
relationships of exactly what they need to be in
order to survive - connection and emotion.
Just the fact that you haven't gotten to know
this women is a great reason to set up a date!
Get over all these dumb fears already! Why in
the hell do you think she gave you her digits? Do
you think it was because she didn't want you to
call her??? Seriously, knock this crap off
Get on the phone and call this girl up (DO NOT
Then, tell her you look forward to getting to
know her better and ask which day is better - next
Friday or next Saturday evening to go grab a bite
and maybe a drink.
Seriously - how tough is that? It's only tough
because you haven't done it before. When you've
done it a few times, it's not only going to be
easy, it's going to be a ton of fun too.
If you're really not sure about how to do all
(any?) of this, check out "Being a Man in a Woman's
World" as it goes into how to set up dates, what to