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                   Why is Having Sex Too Early Bad?
                  
                    
                  
                  Dear Dennis:
                  
                  The girls that give sex up front are getting all
                  the guys, but they don't seem to keep them for
                  long. Guys view them as a fuck buddy type thing but
                  not for a real relationship. The women who wait a
                  bit to give out sex live most of their lives
                  lonely, but end up marrying the guy at the very
                  end, but are alone and depressed most of their
                  lives. 
                  
                  Is there any way to strike a balance here? 
                  
                  Hello! 
                  
                  Where did you get the idea that girls that go
                  for sex early on don't keep guys? In my experience
                  and according to my own research, it's the girls
                  that try to hold out too long that lose guys. 
                  
                  If you're find this is happening to you and your
                  friends, it's because you're not getting
                  investments back from your sex partners. You're
                  doing dumb things like "hanging out" together
                  rather than dating; and probably doing 1001 other
                  bad-idea things along the way. 
                  
                  The balance comes in first realizing that sex is
                  its own benefit as well as a connection between you
                  and a partner. It's based on that connection (and
                  notice I didn't say "relationship") that this comes
                  about. The relationship comes later on, but there
                  has to be some foundation for having sex if you
                  want more than just the sex itself. 
                  
                  Best regards
 
                  
                  © 2009, Dr. Dennis W.
                  Neder 
                  
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                  Relationship is a pervading and changing
                  mystery...brutal or lovely, the mystery waits for
                  people wherever they go, whatever extreme they run
                  to. - Euroda Welty 
                  
                    
                  
                  Dr. Dennis W.
                  Neder is the author of Being
                  a Man in a Woman's World
                  I and Being
                  a Man in a Woman's World
                  II. Have a love, dating,
                  relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can
                  write to him by going to: beingaman.com/ask_question.asp
                   
                  for answers. Check out the discussion group at:
                  groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman
                   .
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