a Man


Why is Having Sex Too Early Bad?

Dear Dennis:

The girls that give sex up front are getting all the guys, but they don't seem to keep them for long. Guys view them as a fuck buddy type thing but not for a real relationship. The women who wait a bit to give out sex live most of their lives lonely, but end up marrying the guy at the very end, but are alone and depressed most of their lives.

Is there any way to strike a balance here?


Where did you get the idea that girls that go for sex early on don't keep guys? In my experience and according to my own research, it's the girls that try to hold out too long that lose guys.

If you're find this is happening to you and your friends, it's because you're not getting investments back from your sex partners. You're doing dumb things like "hanging out" together rather than dating; and probably doing 1001 other bad-idea things along the way.

The balance comes in first realizing that sex is its own benefit as well as a connection between you and a partner. It's based on that connection (and notice I didn't say "relationship") that this comes about. The relationship comes later on, but there has to be some foundation for having sex if you want more than just the sex itself.

Best regards…

© 2009, Dr. Dennis W. Neder

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Relationship is a pervading and changing mystery...brutal or lovely, the mystery waits for people wherever they go, whatever extreme they run to. - Euroda Welty

Dr. Dennis W. Neder is the author of Being a Man in a Woman's World I and Being a Man in a Woman's World II. Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to him by going to: for answers. Check out the discussion group at: . Stay tuned for our new Internet TV Show - BAM TV - starting soon!

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