a Man


Dating Hell

I've been dating the same guy on and off for 3 years and I think it's about time for a change considering that he never does anything to make me feel special. The problem is that I can't seem to meet a 'nice guy' in the city I live.

I have considered moving however my career keeps me here. What should I do?


I'm sorry that you need someone else to make you feel special in order to have a relationship. If that's your standard, I fear that you're going to go from one relationship to the next never getting what you want. I'd hope that you would feel special because you're proud of whom you are, but that's just me.

Just the fact that you live in a city should tell you something. That means that there are probably about 100,000 guys right there in your own backyard. Now, here's the real kicker: every one of them is a "nice guy". The real problem is that women don't want to date nice guys and usually go for jerks. I've made a career on helping these guys become the guy you'd really want to date because I seriously doubt you want a "nice guy".

The other problem is that you have no game; or at least you have no game you can pull out of your back pocket when you need it. Great guys are all over the place! I've already listed a few reasons why you can't seem to find the guy you want, yet they're out there just walking around. You don't have a way of meeting them.

The interesting thing about this is that women have a number of tools to approach these guys that guys don't have. One example is just simply proximity. You can go over and stand just a little too close to a guy you'd like to meet and 9 times out of 10, he'll just turn and say "hi" to you. A guy could never get away with that as it'd come off as creepy. There are many other examples that I'll be writing about in my up-coming book, "How Women Can Approach Men" so watch my website.

In order to find these guys you're going to have to get yourself out there. They're not lining up at the door so just go out and be aware of who's around. Bookstores, coffee shops, restaurants, car washes, community events like "Music in the Park" or celebrations, parks, etc., etc. are all places to meet guys. I'd suggest you avoid meeting them in bars, clubs and on the internet however as these are the 3 worst places there are to meet people.

The bottom line here is that you're not sure who you're really looking for and thus you'll never know when you meet him. When you do meet him, you're expectations aren't exactly reasonable, (and you didn't even tell me what you bring to the table - do you bring anything "special" either? Every woman says they do, but in reality, very, very few do!) You're not working you opportunities to meet these guys and have no system in order to do it.

No wonder you can't meet guys!

Change these things and your prospects will change too.

Best regards.

© 2010, Dr. Dennis W. Neder

Other Relationship Issues, Books

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Relationship is a pervading and changing mystery...brutal or lovely, the mystery waits for people wherever they go, whatever extreme they run to. - Euroda Welty

Dr. Dennis W. Neder is the author of Being a Man in a Woman's World I and Being a Man in a Woman's World II. Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to him by going to: for answers. Check out the discussion group at: . Stay tuned for our new Internet TV Show - BAM TV - starting soon!

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