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Fire In The Hole!

When giving a woman cunnilingus, too many men don't do enough to give her that fire she wants. They either caress her thighs a few times and that's it, or they lay their hands off to the side, and lap her in a very boring manner. Yes, giving a woman cunnilingus can be boring for her if you don’t do it right. Gee, imagine that.

Since men have first discovered what more they can do with their tongue, women have been loving oral sex. Next to the vibrator, this is a feeling they love. This is an old survey, but it doesn’t matter, because it will hold true for years. Women love this as much as you love a good blow job. The main thing to keep in mind is to go at it with excitement; put your whole face into her vagina, like a kid does when he puts his whole face into a watermelon. Women love it!! More on this later.

From the very beginning of making love to her, suck on several strong mints. The purpose for this is to not only give you fresh breath, but to give her a tantalizing feeling when you go down on her. The mint will pass through the skin tissue of her vulva to her nerves. Keep in mind though that this doesn’t work on all women. Nevertheless, try it anyway. Make sure your mouth has that strong mint inside, so suck on one more strong mint while you are down by her legs, just before you move to her vulva.

Most of her sensitive nerves in the vulva are in the clit and in the outer edges of her inner lips…especially the part that surrounds her clit. Contrary to popular belief among so many men, there is very little feeling when further inside her. This means that many times she may want just the head of your penis inside her, rubbing in and out. The shape of our head is perfect for this, but men put it in deeper, where there is less feeling for her. Just inside her vulva also become the tightest part during intercourse because it swells with blood. Slow shallow fucking is something nearly all men don’t do.

For nearly all women (NOT ALL), the sensitivity on her clit and the lips that surround it is the same as underneath and the tip of our dick. The sensitivity of the outer lips of her vulva is the same as the bottom of our penises, near the stomach, would feel. The point past the outer edges of her inner lips, as little as one inch deeper inside her, are no more sensitive than our scrotum would feel, which is pretty low. That gives you a pretty good indicator on how sensitive each part of her vulva is.

So, for all you guys with short penises, you still wish for it to be longer??? When you hear so much about how some women want a man with a big penis, it’s because their fascination with it is exactly the same as men have with big-breasted women. That’s all! Some women may say they want a big man because it feels great all the way in, but these are the disillusioned ones. It is very hard for them to feel it to the point of “feeling great” because there aren’t enough nerves there…PERIOD!

Picking back up from the previous page, you next move from her inner thighs to her vulva, and then gently open her lips and start licking the inside lips, at the outer edges. Then, all of a sudden, just like the kid putting his whole face in a watermelon, you do the same with her vagina. Hands down, ALL women love it when you do this! Rub your whole face in her vagina with enthusiasm. Showing your enthusiasm like this adds to her pleasure. It makes a big difference! Make sure you are absolutely clean-shaven! Stubble will ruin the whole mood for her! Your face should be literally as smooth as a baby’s butt!

After a little bit of this, start licking her lips with the broad part of your tongue. She wants your whole tongue on that area. Also, don’t flick her clit. Most (not all) women don’t like it. They get no arousal from it. Men see this “flicking” on porno tapes, thinking this is some great technique to use on her. For most women, it’s not! Suck on her lips, drawing as much of her lips into your mouth as you can. Women love it when you put your mouth over her vulva and suck on it, inserting your tongue in and out of her at the same time.

Use what’s known as a “Hummer” on her. This is when you have your mouth over her vulva and / or her clit and then you hum. The vibrations from your wet and hot mouth is an erotic feeling for her. Do this while at the same time you have your face completely in her vagina, moving it all around. Another thing you can do is to give her a raspberry. You know how you put your lips against a woman’s neck and give her a raspberry? … You know, like a parent does to their baby’s stomach? Well, give her a raspberry on her lips. Give her many, many raspberries, until she comes! Learn to extend the vibrations from your lips to last at least 30 seconds on her vagina lips. With practice you can do it this long.

Next, give her clit a couple of kisses, and then start licking it like it’s an ice cream cone, with your tongue flat, not pointed, and with not so much pressure. She will tell you how much pressure to give her. Run your fingertips gently along the inside of her thighs and stomach while you gently use your tongue on her. Use both of your hands to give her your total attention.

A woman E-Mailed me this little tip. She says it feels great: While you are going down on a woman, VERY lightly (and only a few times), tap your fingers against her clit to really get the sensation heightened in that area...wait a few seconds and then resume tongue action.

If your tongue is getting tired, you can either give it a rest for a couple of minutes by using your nose to rub her clit and its surrounding lips, or keep your tongue stationary and move your head around. The one thing you have to keep in mind is to not let her know that you are getting tired. She shouldn’t feel that you feel that you have to stay down there until she comes. Let her know that you love licking her. Don’t sigh or ask if she is coming. NEVER ASK HER! Most women can’t come because of pressure, and it doesn’t take much for her to feel this. She should just lay back, relax and enjoy what you are doing to her. No pressure.

In addition to using your tongue, you should also use your lubricated fingertip to vigorously rub up and down her lips. Also, gently stretch and jiggle them. The stretching can be very stimulating for her. Don’t be afraid to grab a pinch of both of her lips and stretch it slightly, but, do it slow. Stretch it out, up and down and side to side. Do this while licking her. If she doesn’t come within, say, ten minutes, go back to another part of her body. Maybe go back to kissing her, to alleviate any slight pressure she maybe feeling. Maybe you can just lie there for a few minutes, letting her know that it’s okay, and that the both of you can try again. Hold her in your arms and just talk for a while. Sometimes you have to do things like these. She may want you to. It’s normal with women. It’s no one’s fault.

ALL women agree on this: The key to giving her good cunnilingus is to stay on her clit once you are there. All the foreplay and all the kissing are now over. She now wants you to stay directly on her clit. DON’T MOVE ANYWHERE ELSE UNTIL SHE COMES! It’s just like when you want her to stay on your penis while she’s giving you a blow job. So, licking her clit should be the very last thing you do for her, even after stretching and rubbing her lips. Also, her starting to moan and saying “YES!” is not an indication for you to go faster. Many, many men make this mistake. Stay right at the same speed and position until she comes! This is very important! Also…USE HAND LOTION IF YOUR HANDS ARE ROUGH, AND TRIM THOSE FINGERNAILS! This was an issue with many women. It’s very soft and sensitive inside their vagina, so the last thing you want to do is scratch her. Trim your nails all the way down, and then file them smooth.

I’m going to sound like I am contradicting myself with this next paragraph, but a couple of women have told me about this, so, what the hell, here it is: Before you start licking her, tell her to let you know when she is about to come. Then when she tells you, stop licking, and then hold your tongue against her clit, motionless, and wait until her urge to come goes away. Then start licking her all over again. When she says she is about to come again, do the same process. Wait till her urge goes away, and then start in on her again. Do this only twice, because of the fact too many women can lose that mood. Her third urge to come to orgasm should lead to a fantastic feeling for her. If done right, that is. It’s like you would do with the vibrator, but with this you will be holding your tongue motionless against her clit. Heed warning, this may not work with most women.

Part of giving her cunnilingus is of course using your hands. Here is a little-known technique that women like from their lover: Place your hand over her whole vulva, with your fingers pointing down and the heel of your hand over her clit. Apply a medium pressure downward, with circular movements. This increases her arousal. You can also use your middle finger, making sure it’s lubricated, from the hand you are using to penetrate her at the same time. You could do this just before going down on her.

You’ve read on how her clit is one of the most sensitive parts of her body, but do you think it’s a magic hot button for you whenever you want her to come to orgasm? … Well, just like all the other men who are thinking the same thing, you would be wrong. It isn’t a full-proof way, because sometimes she just can’t come when you are stimulating it. She could be hot and horny, but for some odd reason there are going to be times when it isn’t going to happen. This is normal, and it’s no one’s fault. It happens. You have to give it a rest for about a half an hour, or maybe less time, and then go back to it. “Over stimulation” is a term many women are familiar with.

Here are a few additional things she wants you to do at the same time you are giving her cunnilingus:

  • "Don't just keep your face in one position, and JUST lick me. Bury your face DEEP inside me, and move your face around...."
  • "Suck my inner lips and clit, lick them, gently nibble on them, move your face around my vagina. Do it all!"
  • "Lightly run your fingertips on the back of my leg, directly behind my kneecap. I love it there!"
  • "While you are licking me, rub and gently scratch my thighs all over the place, especially the inner thighs, next to my pu**y."
  • "Ask me where my hot spots are below my hips, and work those areas also."
  • "For the first few minutes, go up and down between my vagina and toes, sucking, licking and kissing every square inch of area in between. Then stay on my clit until I come."

Well, ok then!

See Perry's other weekly columns on Dating or Relationships.

Perry Rose is a syndicated freelance writer for singles on sex, dating and relationships. He is also the author of, All About Men: Another Damn Book For Women About Men. & Women and Sex And Dating, For The Single Man published by Intimacy Books. From first getting dates from complete strangers, to finding that right person to be with, Intimacy Books has interviewed single men and women on what they like and want from one another. The findings were published in Women, Sex and Dating, for the Single Man. Their site is

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