Sex Talk

Best Time of the Year for Sex

Q from a female, senior from the University of Maine wants to know....University of Maine. How does a women tactfully tell her partner that she is not satisfied, that he needs to slow down and perhaps take time to do a few more things rather than just take care of himself - especially when he is convinced that he is doing everything well? How do you bring this up?

Dr. Caron's response: First of all, I would suggest the conversation take place outside the bedroom. You could begin by saying, "I think our lovemaking is nice, but I'd like to tell you a few things that would make it even better." Or, you may want to ask him what pleases him sexually. Even if he responds that everything is fine, you could let him know that some things he does for you are fine but he must have some preferences also. By getting him to talk about what he really likes opens up the conversation for you to tell him what you like. It's important to be specific and let him know what turns you on, where, when.... In bed, you may want to show him how you like to be touched. Keep in mind that no one likes to be criticized or made to feel stupid, so try to give your partner positive feedback. By communicating with each other, you will be better able to meet each other's needs.

© 2008, Sandra L. Caron

*    *    *

It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover. - Marge Piercy

American teens have the worst of all worlds...Our children are bombarded and confronted with sexual messages, sexual exploitation, and all manner of sexual criticism. But our society is by and large sexually illiterate. Faye Westheimer

Dr. Sandra L. Caron is a professor of human sexuality at the University of Maine. To submit a question to Dr. Caron or chat with your peers visit Got a question for Dr. Caron? Visit and ask away! Get a guaranteed personal and confidential response to your question: or E-Mail

Contact Us | Disclaimer | Privacy Statement
Menstuff® Directory
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon Clay
©1996-2019, Gordon Clay