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Am I ready for sex?
Q from a female, first-year from (undisclosed)
university wants to know...I feel like I'm
ready for sex but when it comes down to it I get
really nervous and scared. Does this mean I'm not
really ready?
Dr. Caron's Answer: I believe it is
natural to feel nervous and scared when we do
something we don't know much about at that point.
if you are unsure about when to become sexually
involved, you may want to spend time talking this
over with your partner. If you are unsure, I feel
it is always better to err on the side of waiting,
rather than rushing into something you may regret
later. Certainly, any sexual relationship should
be based on mutual consent. Some other guidelines
indicating you might be ready for sex include:
You're ready for sex if you're not trying to
prove your love, increase your self-worth, prove
you're mature, or rebel against parents or
society;
You're ready for sex if it will be an expression
of your current feelings rather than an attempt to
improve a poor relationship or one that is growing
old;
You're ready for sex if you can discuss and
agree on an effective method of birth control and
share the details, responsibilities, and costs;
Finally, you are ready for sex if you can
discuss sexually transmitted infections and provide
protection.
Deciding whether or not you are ready to become
sexually involved is an important decision, a
choice we make for ourselves. It should be a
responsible one and it's yours alone. No one
should force or push you into it. Don't wait until
the last minute to decide; there are lots of things
to consider. You decide!
© 2008, Sandra L.
Caron
* * *
It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the
lover. - Marge Piercy
American teens have the worst of all
worlds...Our children are bombarded and confronted
with sexual messages, sexual exploitation, and all
manner of sexual criticism. But our society is by
and large sexually illiterate. Faye Westheimer
Dr. Sandra L.
Caron is a professor of human sexuality at the
University of Maine. To submit a question to Dr.
Caron or chat with your peers visit
www.CollegeSexTalk.com
Got a question for Dr. Caron? Visit
www.collegesextalk.com/questions.htm
and ask away! Get a guaranteed personal and
confidential response to your question:
www.my-secure-site.com/collegesextalk/
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