Sex Talk

Having an Orgasm

Q from a female, junior from (undisclosed) university wants to know...Is it weird for a woman to be able to orgasm orally but not vaginally? My friends and I have talked about this a lot and we all have the same "problem." It doesn’t bother me but I was just wondering why some do and some don’t?

Dr. Caron's Answer: What you describe is a common experience for many women, in which she does not get the level of stimulation needed to reach orgasm from intercourse, but she is able to reach orgasm through oral sex because it provides more direct stimulation of the clitoris. Often this is due to the way our bodies are structured and the amount of clitoral stimulation received through intercourse. The “problem” as I see it is that we have perpetuated an image of what sex is supposed to look like and implied that there is “only one right way” to reach orgasm. That is the unfortunate (and weird) part.

© 2008, Sandra L. Caron

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It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover. - Marge Piercy

American teens have the worst of all worlds...Our children are bombarded and confronted with sexual messages, sexual exploitation, and all manner of sexual criticism. But our society is by and large sexually illiterate. Faye Westheimer

Dr. Sandra L. Caron is a professor of human sexuality at the University of Maine. To submit a question to Dr. Caron or chat with your peers visit Got a question for Dr. Caron? Visit and ask away! Get a guaranteed personal and confidential response to your question: or E-Mail

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