Sex Talk

Why Do Women Always Want Serious Commitments?

Question from a male junior at MIT: Why do women always want serious commitments? I've never been able to have just a casual dating relationship with anyone I've ever dated.

Dr. Caron's Answer: I think it's true, generally, that many (not all) women prefer commitment to casual dating relationships. You should be clear with yourself about what you want in a relationship. If what you want is a casual friendship without a commitment, it is important to be clear about this both with yourself and the women you meet and date. Sometimes men implicitly make promises about "always being there" for the other person without realizing it. Some examples of "implicit" promises include statements such as, "You're really special," "I've never met anyone like you before," or "I can't wait to see you again." Think through your initial relationships of the past and see if you have made such promises, either verbally or nonverbally, in order to enhance you relationship at the time.

© 2007, Sandra L. Caron

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It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover. - Marge Piercy

American teens have the worst of all worlds...Our children are bombarded and confronted with sexual messages, sexual exploitation, and all manner of sexual criticism. But our society is by and large sexually illiterate. Faye Westheimer

Dr. Sandra L. Caron is a professor of human sexuality at the University of Maine. To submit a question to Dr. Caron or chat with your peers visit Got a question for Dr. Caron? Visit and ask away! Get a guaranteed personal and confidential response to your question: or E-Mail

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