She Loves the Sex Without Too Much Emotional
Question from a female sophomore from Drexel
wants to know: I have been seeing this guy
since the start of the semester - it has been
pretty fun and has included a lot of great sex. But
here is the problem - he is getting too emotionally
involved too soon. What can I do or say to him to
get him to back off?
Dr. Caron's Answer: I'm not sure I
understand you. What I think you're saying is you
want a casual relationship and he wants a
commitment. If this is so, then you need to be
straight with him about your feelings. Sometime the
sex can complicate the situation because it may
mean different things to different people. One way
to cope is to say, "I like you very much and I am
not ready for an exclusive relationship with you.
I'd love to share a friendship with you and also
want to be with others - to meet and date other
guys." It is no kindness to let a person believe
that you are making a similarly total commitment to
him, when in reality you're not ready to do so.
© 2010, Sandra L.
* * *
It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the
lover. - Marge Piercy
American teens have the worst of all
worlds...Our children are bombarded and confronted
with sexual messages, sexual exploitation, and all
manner of sexual criticism. But our society is by
and large sexually illiterate. Faye Westheimer
Dr. Sandra L.
Caron is a professor of human sexuality at the
University of Maine. To submit a question to Dr.
Caron or chat with your peers visit
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