Sex Talk

She Loves the Sex Without Too Much Emotional Involvement

Question from a female sophomore from Drexel wants to know: I have been seeing this guy since the start of the semester - it has been pretty fun and has included a lot of great sex. But here is the problem - he is getting too emotionally involved too soon. What can I do or say to him to get him to back off?

Dr. Caron's Answer: I'm not sure I understand you. What I think you're saying is you want a casual relationship and he wants a commitment. If this is so, then you need to be straight with him about your feelings. Sometime the sex can complicate the situation because it may mean different things to different people. One way to cope is to say, "I like you very much and I am not ready for an exclusive relationship with you. I'd love to share a friendship with you and also want to be with others - to meet and date other guys." It is no kindness to let a person believe that you are making a similarly total commitment to him, when in reality you're not ready to do so. Best wishes.

© 2010, Sandra L. Caron

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It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover. - Marge Piercy

American teens have the worst of all worlds...Our children are bombarded and confronted with sexual messages, sexual exploitation, and all manner of sexual criticism. But our society is by and large sexually illiterate. Faye Westheimer

Dr. Sandra L. Caron is a professor of human sexuality at the University of Maine. To submit a question to Dr. Caron or chat with your peers visit Got a question for Dr. Caron? Visit and ask away! Get a guaranteed personal and confidential response to your question: or E-Mail

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