Sex Talk

First sexual experience

Q from a female, junior from Colorado College: wants to know…If your first sexual experience wasn’t what you expected, how do you become comfortable in the future with a different partner?

Dr. Caron's Answer: It will take time. I believe it means taking time to develop the kind of relationship where there is mutual respect, caring and trust. I’m sorry that your first sexual experience was not comfortable. It would be helpful to know a bit more about what happened, in order to understand what needs to happen in the future to make it better. Maybe you could think about that. In terms of future relationships, keep in mind that the context of the relationship can be crucial in determining how comfortable one feels. Take your time.

© 2007, Sandra L. Caron

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It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover. - Marge Piercy

American teens have the worst of all worlds...Our children are bombarded and confronted with sexual messages, sexual exploitation, and all manner of sexual criticism. But our society is by and large sexually illiterate. Faye Westheimer

Dr. Sandra L. Caron is a professor of human sexuality at the University of Maine. To submit a question to Dr. Caron or chat with your peers visit Got a question for Dr. Caron? Visit and ask away! Get a guaranteed personal and confidential response to your question: or E-Mail

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