How to ask a sexual partner to wear a
Q A female, sophomore student from Arizona State
University wantx to know... I know it's
important to ask your sexual partner to wear a
condom, but how should I approach the issue? I'm
not comfortable discussing it.
Dr. Caron's Answer: Anyone you know well
enough to be sleeping with, you should know well
enough to talk about protection with. However, I
recognize that talking about sex has never been
easy. In fact, some people even think it's wrong or
that it ruins the mood. But in this age of "fatal
sexuality" - where people can die from unprotected
sexual intercourse - it is crucial that you talk
about using condoms. Forethought before Foreplay is
essential: Talk with your partner before you end up
in bed. You might try bringing up the subject by
saying, "Gee, I keep hearing all this stuff about
AIDS and safer sex. What do you think?" Or, "I'd
love to make love with you, but I'm worried about
disease." Talk about your need to have sex safely.
If he's a former Boy Scout, he'll understand the
concept of being prepared. If he's ever played
sports he'll understand how important it is to wear
protective gear before you play the game.
© 2008, Sandra L.
* * *
It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the
lover. - Marge Piercy
American teens have the worst of all
worlds...Our children are bombarded and confronted
with sexual messages, sexual exploitation, and all
manner of sexual criticism. But our society is by
and large sexually illiterate. Faye Westheimer
Dr. Sandra L.
Caron is a professor of human sexuality at the
University of Maine. To submit a question to Dr.
Caron or chat with your peers visit
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