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June
Fish Guts and Snail Goo
June brings us Fathers' Day. For the mom's day it
was flowers and brunches, for dad's it's cards with
pictures of ducks or fish on them, macaroni
mosaics, and maybe mow the lawn for him and cook
some steaks. Well, that's the generic greeting-card
version, anyway.
When the kids are little, it's kind of fun to
take them shopping to pick out a gift for the other
parent. This is where the dollar stores come in
REAL handy, knowing that if they break something
you're not gonna be out more than a buck. It's
really special to kids to be able to buy a gift
with their own money (that you just gave them for
doing chores). When they get older, they're on
their own.
But when parents have split up and the kids are
young, I believe it's important to continue helping
the kids with the gift-giving. We were fortunate in
that regard. One year for mom's day the kids and
their dad took me to Disneyland. The boys weren't
yet old enough to drive or take me on their own, so
I appreciated the thoughtfulness on their dad's
part. On a dad's day one year I took one of the
boys to an aviary to pick out a canary, something
their dad had been wanting. It was rewarding to me
to see my son's pleasure in giving that gift. I
think the key here was that the kids were old
enough to understand that we were no longer
"together" even though we weren't fighting anymore.
No romance-reminiscing, no sniping at each other,
none of that stuff went on. So it worked for
us.
I have two sons. I was relieved not to have had
a daughter. I don't think I would have had any idea
how to do all the "princess" stuff little girls
seem to like.
Having been kind of a tomboy (is that the right
word to use these days?), I didn't care for dolls
or wearing lacy dresses. I wanted to BE Mighty
Mouse, Popeye or a cowboy. I have memories of going
fishing with my dad and watching with fascination
as he cleaned fish in the kitchen sink, especially
the process of cutting open the belly to see what
sort of cool and colorful stuff our catch had
consumed. We also played a delightfully-disgusting
game in the yard at night with flashlights, called
"Captain Crunch". Upon encountering a snail on the
ground, one would shout "Captain!" and that would
be followed by "Crrrrunch!" and necessary removal
of shoes before entering the house. No
father/daughter dances like the schools have
nowadays. Icky.
Now in his 80's, my dad's dresser is still
graced with the yarn-wrapped, styrofoam-headed,
clothes-hanger dinosaur I gave him on Father's Day
in 1963. Cool, Dad.
Captain...
©2011, Mary Lou
St. Lucas
* * *
Mary Lou St.
Lucas is a former stay-at-home mom who has
participated in custody and divorce-related support
groups. She often speaks out through impassioned
letters to local newspapers regarding issues
affecting quality of life for children and
families. She has experienced divorce, including
the heartbreaking decision to give up daily contact
with her two sons for what she believed was their
best interest at that time, as well as the societal
stigma attached to being a non-custodial mother.
She emphasizes the importance of kids having BOTH
parents in their lives on a regular basis, even if
the parents cannot or will not be married anymore.
She hopes other parents will see that there may be
alternatives to the standard custody arrangements,
depending on the individual situation. She writes
from her perspective of today instead of revisiting
and dwelling on the painful emotions of her past.
She strives to live a full life in spite of a
recent diagnosis of fibromyalgia, and believes a
sense of humor is mandatory. mlstuff.blogspot.com/2007/08/male-bashing-t-shirts.html
or E-Mail.
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