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                   November 
                  Blending Families with Pumpkin and Pecans
                  
                    
                  
                  Once again the holidays are almost here. My family
                  celebrates Thanksgiving and Christmas.
                  
                  When my husband and I got together about a
                  decade ago we each had two kids from our previous
                  marriages, ranging from ages twelve to twenty. It's
                  been somewhat challenging every year to figure a
                  way each of us could spend the holidays with our
                  own kids, while celebrating together as a couple.
                  Sometimes it's been impossible. 
                  
                  Today our "kids" are all grown up, with
                  significant others of their own. One of my sons
                  lives out of town and returns home to visit twice a
                  year. I cherish those brief visits. We also have a
                  grandchild (on my husband's side of the family) who
                  is old enough this year to really get into the
                  whole celebration thing. There are former spouses
                  living nearby who also wish to spend the day with
                  family. 
                  
                  So... there's the possibility of rotating, being
                  with one side of the family on Thanksgiving and the
                  other on Christmas; and then switching the
                  following year. But that's never worked out.
                  Sometimes we are invited one place, or the other,
                  or both. The closest thing to success has been
                  inviting everyone to just stop by our home any time
                  throughout the day. 
                  
                  It may get confusing, but I'm thankful to have
                  my family with which to celebrate while so many
                  people can't be with their loved ones for the
                  holidays. 
                  
                  I have no room to complain about who eats
                  pumpkin pie at which house. Besides, pecan is
                  better according to my dog Angie who stole over
                  half a pecan pie from the kitchen counter last
                  year. 
                  
                  ©2011, Mary Lou
                  St. Lucas 
                  
                  *    *    *
                  
                    
                  
                  Mary Lou St.
                  Lucas is a former stay-at-home mom who has
                  participated in custody and divorce-related support
                  groups. She often speaks out through impassioned
                  letters to local newspapers regarding issues
                  affecting quality of life for children and
                  families. She has experienced divorce, including
                  the heartbreaking decision to give up daily contact
                  with her two sons for what she believed was their
                  best interest at that time, as well as the societal
                  stigma attached to being a non-custodial mother.
                  She emphasizes the importance of kids having BOTH
                  parents in their lives on a regular basis, even if
                  the parents cannot or will not be married anymore.
                  She hopes other parents will see that there may be
                  alternatives to the standard custody arrangements,
                  depending on the individual situation. She writes
                  from her perspective of today instead of revisiting
                  and dwelling on the painful emotions of her past.
                  She strives to live a full life in spite of a
                  recent diagnosis of fibromyalgia, and believes a
                  sense of humor is mandatory. mlstuff.blogspot.com/2007/08/male-bashing-t-shirts.html
                   
                  or E-Mail. 
                  
                    
                  
                   
                  
                  
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