Dads & Daughters

Menstuff® has compiled information from Dads & Daughters. The have resources for parents of girls like: "The Dangers of Dating Violence", "Girl Athletes and Eating Disorders", "Soda Pop Junkies", "Do Virginity Pledges Delay Teen Sex?", and "How to Stay Involved in Her School" are just a few of the topics covered in the current issue of Daughters: The Newsletter for Parents of Girls. Daughters . Daughters blends the expertise of professionals with the ideas and wisdom of experienced parents---digested, filtered, and compiled in a compact, easy-to-read format.


This picture is of our daughter Julia (9 months old) "talking" to her Daddy
over Skype while he was deployed to Afghanistan.

:40
Let Kids Experiment

You Really Can Buy Good Toys This Year!
From Princess Diaries to All-American Girl
What if She Doesn't Like Sports?
Helping Her Cope with Stress and Uncertainty
Helping Families of Incarcerated Fathers
Becoming Dad: Black Men and the Journey to Fatherhood
Does Marketing Harm Kids?
Misleading Diet Ads are Widespread
What Keeps Low-Income Dads Involved?
Success with More than English-Only
A Tip or Two
Conference on Aggression in Girls
Helping Young Women Athletes Succeed
Free Bullying Resource
"She Started It!" - Calming Sibling Rivalry
Building Strong Daughters
Honor Her Voice
Keep Speaking for Title IX
Dads' Surprising Postpartum Work Habits
Young Men Reluctant to Marry?
New Fathering Research Journal to Launch
Discipline is a Gift
Research on Dads
Recruiting Foster Parents
Listening to Black Fathers and Their Kids
Spokes-Dads Needed
Let Her Open Doors for You
Girls' Athletics Under Imminent Threat
Study Finds Arts Education is Critical to Thinking
Make Room in Life for Some Serious Laughter
Good Nutrition Today for a Healthy Tomorrow
DADs' Dating Poll - How do you measure up?
Test Your Women's History I.Q.
DADs Asks Teen Mags to Take YM's Step and the Next
Celebrating Innovators
Growth in Women's Sports Spawns New Career Opportunities
Study Sheds Light on Technophobic Girls
DADs Featured in Boston Globe
Marketers Continue Promoting Violence to Children
Adoption of Gender-neutral Language Making Headway
A Tip or Two
Britney Spears Sends Mixed Media Messages
Resources

Foster Belonging

For our daughters to have courage, freedom and be adventurers, they need a safe harbor from which to launch and to which they can return. So, tell her how important her presence is in your home, and let her know what you miss about her when she's gone.

Stick with It Even if It Seems Unbearable

Our daughters are likely to experience traumas we wish they were spared. They will respond to trauma in any one of a thousand ways, which can create emotional turmoil for them and us. But no matter what happens, be unwavering with your support; hanging in there is a great gift (and comfort) to our children.

You Really Can Buy Good Toys This Year!

Many parents complain about the rows of toys that promote mindless consumerism, sexism or violence - and only interest a child for a short period. Well, there is guidance to help parents promote creative play and choose positive toys and reduce the influence of harmful toys on their children. You can find it in the new "2002-2003 TRUCE Toy Action Guide" from the nonprofit Teachers Resisting Unhealthy Children's Entertainment. TRUCE prepares the guide annually at this time of year to help adults make thoughtful gift choices for the holiday season and promote healthy play throughout the year. Download it free at www.truceteachers.org/

What if She Doesn't Like Sports?

It is now normal for girls to play sports, one of the best cultural developments over the past few decades. But not every girl is going to be into sports. Sometimes the non-sporting girl can get heat for her choice. The November/December, 2002 issue of the national newsletter "Daughters: For Parents of Girls" talks about empowering, positive alternative opportunities for girls outside of sports. This "Daughters" also has features on teaching your daughter compassion, and helping her learn to love photography. www.daughters.com

Helping Her Cope with Stress and Uncertainty

Many of our daughters are nearing the end of the semester, with final projects and tests looming. Plus, there's a job, friends and family to deal with. The National Association of Pediatric Nurse Practitioners has some simple guidelines for helping kids deal with stress and uncertainty. The first step is to be sure you're dealing with your own stress positively, since children are wizards at picking up on parental anxiety. Restlessness, worry, or hyperactivity can be healthy short-term strategies, but if these behaviors continue, more direct action is needed.
Source: www.napnap.org/leadership/media/

Helping Families of Incarcerated Fathers

There are now more than 1.8 million people in state and federal prisons in the US. Most of them are men, most are people of color - and many have children. About 2 million kids currently have an incarcerated parent. Children of an imprisoned father not only lose his physical presence in their lives, they are often stigmatized by peers and institutions. There are a few organizations addressing the needs of these millions of kids, including the Family and Corrections Network www.fcnetwork.org , Federal Resource Center for Children of Prisoners www.cwla.org/programs/incarcerated/cop_03.htm , and the Osborne Association www.osborneny.org . If you work with girls, these are good sites to have at hand.

Becoming Dad: Black Men and the Journey to Fatherhood

Leonard Pitts Jr.'s book Becoming Dad: Black Men and the Journey to Fatherhood (Longstreet, 1999) brings tears, laughter and wisdom to any thoughtful father, according to DADs executive director Joe Kelly. "Pitts' book is beautifully written and incredibly honest. He takes a frank look at the challenges of becoming a father when you have a flawed role model to follow - or no role model at all," Kelly says "But he provides hope and proof that even this difficulty can be overcome, if we dedicate our energies to being dads and learning from each other." Pitts is a syndicated columnist from the Miami Herald, and a father, stepfather and grandfather.

From Princess Diaries to All-American Girl

Meg Cabot made a name for herself as the author of the best selling "Princess Diaries" series. Girls, Incorporated talked to Meg about women's rights, true friendship and her new book, "All-American Girl." Read the interview at www.girlsinc.org/gc/page.php?id=3.3.1

Does Marketing Harm Kids?

If you attended last week's Stop Commercial Exploitation of Children Summit in New York, the answer was a pretty strong "yes." DADs executive director Joe Kelly and DADs' advisor Dr. Margo Maine were among the speakers detailing the marketing of unhealthy foods and behaviors to kids, the sexualization of kids' products and advertising, among other problems. Read parenting columnist Patricia McLaughlin's take on the issue at
Source: www.dadsanddaughters.org/SCEC2002article.htm

Misleading Diet Ads are Widespread

A new Federal Trade Commission report concludes that false or misleading claims, such as exaggerated weight loss without diet or exercise, are widespread in ads for weight-loss products, and appear to have increased over the last decade. The FTC will hold a public workshop on November 19 in Washington, DC to explore the impact of these ads on public health. See more at Source: www.ftc.gov/opa/2002/09/weightlossrpt.htm

What Keeps Low-Income Dads Involved?

Researchers in Baltimore find that fathers who have children with low-income, African-American women under 18 face many barriers to paternal involvement - but can overcome these barriers with comprehensive support. Among the findings in the Journal of Adolescent Health: (31(3):266-276). Many of the childrens' fathers were involved in the early care of their children; The quality of the father's relationship with his child's mother was a significant determinant of paternal involvement; Fathers were more involved in households in which maternal grandmothers had higher levels of education and reported a positive relationship with the child's father; Fathers who were employed or had been employed in the past 12 months were more involved than those who were not employed; and The child's gender was not associated with parental involvement.

Success with More than English-Only

Just in time for Hispanic Heritage Month, a new Ford Foundation report says the bilingual James F. Oyster elementary school in Washington, DC is getting excellent results from a dual-language immersion approach.

Team teachers, one Spanish-speaking and one English-speaking,teach a mix of Spanish-speaking and English-speaking children -getting strong student achievement and parents who make sure their school has what it needs to help kids succeed. See:
Source: http://www.dadsanddaughters.org/fordfoundationreport.htm

A Tip or Two

Notice her work. For example, if your daughter helps out with younger cousins or neighbor kids at a family gathering, she'll beam when you thank her for the help, ask how it went, and help her figure out how to make things even more fun next time. From "Dads and Daughters: How to Inspire, Understand, and Support Your Daughter When She's Growing Up So Fast" by Joe Kelly.

Conference on Aggression in Girls

The Ophelia Project presents a special conference "Creating a Safe Social Climate: Understanding Relational Aggression" on October 25 and 26 at Edinboro University, near Erie, Pennsylvania. Featured speaker is Rachel Simmons, author of the best-selling "Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls." See www.opheliaproject.org

Helping Young Women Athletes Succeed

Here's a great story of a wealthy young father who gets it: after their daughter was born, Dana and Jeff Kent (Jeff is an all-star infielder for the San Francisco Giants) created a fund to provide scholarships to walk-on female athletes at the University of California. Called "Women Driven", it recognizes how scholarship dollars have not kept pace with the explosion of sports participation by girls and women. Jeff Kent was a walk-on himself at Cal. Read more at: www.womendriven.com/

Free Bullying Resource

Bullying, "cattiness," exclusion, social cruelty - no matter what you call it, girls can be harmed by it. This month, www.newmoon.org has free learning activities based on an article about what to do about bullying at school. New Moon's website has regularly updated curricular materials for teachers, mentors, parents, and homeschoolers at three age ranges: K-4, grades 5-8, and grades 9-12. See: www.newmoon.org/what_we_do/curriculum/index.htm

"She Started It!" - Calming Sibling Rivalry

How do you respond to the minutiae of tit-for-tat arguments that kids have with each other - and then bring to you for final judgment (which one of them always wants to appeal)? The author of an article in "Children's Advocate" has some concrete - if not foolproof - strategies. Read more at www.4children.org/news/702sibe.htm

Building Strong Daughters

In a recent Women's Enews story, successful adult women writers and activists trace the ways that their fathers pushed and supported them to reach their dreams. For example, Dr. Yvonne Scruggs-Leftwich, head of the Black Leadership Forum, says her father told her, "'I don't want you to ever have to depend on anyone for your identity." Read the story at: www.womensenews.org/article.cfm?aid=942

 

Honor Her Voice

A girl's voice may be the most valuable and most threatened resource she has. She needs confidence and trust in her voice in order to succeed and be safe. But many cultural forces (and individuals) will try to silence of manipulate what her voice tells her. Fathers help keep daughter's voice strong by listening closely to her and taking her seriously. So, listen up!

Keep Speaking for Title IX

There is a new wave of articles and opinion pieces criticizing Title IX as unfair-and assertion that doesn't stand up to logical scrutiny. You can help by writing a letter to the editor whenever you read one of these anti-Title IX pieces-the message can have special oomph coming from a dad! We gathered a short list of powerful facts from the Women's Sports Foundation that you can use to make your case. Meanwhile, keep letting Congress know how important Title IX is to girls AND boys by using DADs' easy action page: www.dadsanddaughters.org/takeaction.htm

Dads' Surprising Postpartum Work Habits

Researchers at the University of Washington say that fathers work more hours a year, and make more money, after they have a child - but that there's a marked difference based on the baby's gender. Economists Shelly Lundberg and Elaina Rose found that dads worked, on average, about 118 hours a year more if their first child was a boy but only 54 hours more if the first baby was a girl. The pattern repeated with subsequent births, too. See www.startribune.com/stories/389/2905002.html for more

Young Men Reluctant to Marry?

A Rutgers University report on young, not-yet married men's attitudes about the timing of marriage finds that men experience few social pressures to marry, gain many of the benefits of marriage by cohabiting with a romantic partner, and are ever more reluctant to commit to marriage in their early adult years. However, in recent years, there are signs that some marriage-weakening trends are slowing or in some cases leveling off. Read the report at marriage.rutgers.edu/TEXTSOOU2002.htm

New Fathering Research Journal to Launch

The Men's Studies Press is launching a scholarly journal about fathering early next year. It's called "Fathering: A Journal of Theory, Research, and Practice About Men as Fathers" and the editors are calling for papers. See more at www.mensstudies.com/fathering/factsheet.html

 

Discipline is a Gift

In his new book The Collected Wisdom of Fathers, DADs' Will Glennon reminds us that "far from being the most dreaded aspect of parenting, discipline can be its greatest gift. There is a fine line (which our teenaged would-be attorneys will argue over for hours) between an appropriate restriction and an arbitrary rule. [But] underneath this ritualistic struggle over boundaries is a cooperative effort: they want reasonable limits so they will feel that someone is looking out for them, and we want them to make wise choices and walk through life's minefields unharmed."

Research on Dads

According to a report from the Child Welfare League of America, some studies indicate contact between non-custodial fathers and their children is associated with fewer behavioral problems and better psychological well-being while conversely, other studies show that non-custodial father contact can have a detrimental affect on their child's behavior. This distinction has led some researchers to conclude that it may not be the frequency of contact that is important to the relationship, rather the quality of time spent together.
Source: www.cwla.org/wer4kdz/issue.asp?ISSUEID=86

Recruiting Foster Parents

How are States meeting the challenges of recruiting and retaining foster parents? Two new reports released by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' Office of Inspector General (OIG) assess States' efforts in those areas. Read the recruiting report at oig.hhs.gov/oei/reports/oei-07-00-00600.pdf and the retaining report at oig.hhs.gov/oei/reports/oei-07-00-00601.pdf

Listening to Black Fathers and Their Kids

A BET.com/CBS poll last year that found that a startling 56 percent of the Black community feels that Black men have failed their families. In response, the BET network asked its web visitors to use Fathers Day as an occasion to share their thoughts about fathering in the Black community. The result brought positive responses like thank you notes from daughters. See www.bet.com/articles/0,,c3gb2993-3654,00.html as well as notes of abandonment and hurt. Start exploring BET's look at the issue at www.bet.com/articles/0,,p43gb3078-3742,00.html

Spokes-Dads Needed

Media outlets regularly contact Dads and Daughters for its perspective on issues facing fathers and daughters today. Periodically, a reporter wants to talk to a DADs member who lives near the media outlet itself. So, become a DADs spokesdad - we'll add you to the list of fathers willing to volunteer to talk about their daughters - and what dad doesn't like to do that! It's fun, and doesn't take much time. To sign up, email info@dadsanddaughters.org

Let Her Open Doors for You

In his new book "The Collected Wisdom of Fathers" (Conari Press), DADs board member Will Glennon writes: "One of [our children's] most surprising and welcome gifts is the open doors that were never open to us before. Through our children's differences, interests, and passions, we can enter foreign worlds and experience whole new ways of relating that are completely mysterious to us." Go ahead - walk on through!

Girls' Athletics Under Imminent Threat

There are reports that, while Congress is on Memorial Day recess, the US Department of Education will announce it is suspending enforcement of Title IX, the law that requires fair treatment of girls' and women's athletics in virtually every US school. Title IX is already enforced laxly, and it's inaccurately blamed for some schools' decisions to drop some male sports. Tell President Bush, US Education Secretary Dr. Rod Paige and Members of Congress to keep Title IX strong - Go to: http://capwiz.com/dads/issues/alert/?alertid=178941&type=CO

Study Finds Arts Education is Critical to Thinking

A new study published by the Arts Education Partnership (AEP) shows that child participation in various forms of art improves critical thinking, effective social behavior and overall academic achievement. Fundamental skills including spatial reasoning, problem solving and creative thinking were all found to improve in children with arts education as part of their studies. Read the full report at: aep-arts.org/cllinkspage.htm

Make Room in Life for Some Serious Laughter

The pure pleasure of laughing over nothing provides unexpected energy after a long and demanding week. Equally important to work, marriage, parenting and a plethora of other weekly activities, engaging in silly activities brings a wealth of happiness to our lives.

Source: www.dadsanddaughters.org/make_room_for_laughter.htm

Good Nutrition Today for a Healthy Tomorrow

March is National Nutrition Month. Spend a little time this month taking a closer look at your own diet. Remember, your kids learn by watching you so help them develop sound eating and physical activity habits through your example. Check out the American Dietetic Association's website for more information. www.eatright.org/nnm/

DADs' Dating Poll - How do you measure up?

Ever wonder what your daughter really thinks about your reactions to her dating? Are you on the front porch cleaning your gun when boys come callin' or do you trust your daughter's judgment? DADs asked a group of girls to speak about their experiences with their Fathers on the subject of dating. Here are the results: www.dadsanddaughters.org/front_porch_poll.htm

Test Your Women's History I.Q.

"Which mother led a 125-mile march of child workers all the way from the mills of Pennsylvania to President Theodore Roosevelt's vacation home on Long Island?"

"Who printed the first copy of the Declaration of Independence that included the signers' names?"

March is Women's History Month. Here's a great way to identify influential women and events throughout history, and a fun way to share and learn women's history with your child.
Source: http://www.nwhp.org/tlp/quiz/quiz.html

DADs Asks Teen Mags to Take YM's Step and the Next

Earlier this year, in response to concerns about epidemic girls' body image problems, YM said it would stop printing diet tips and start including larger models in its stories. Help us urge Seventeen, Teen People, CosmoGIRL! and Teen to immediately follow YM's example, stop printing diet tips and start including larger models in its stories. DADs is also asking all teen magazines - YM included - to go the next step and demand that advertisers stop glorifying unhealthy body image between their covers. Go to: capwiz.com/dads/home/ to use DADs' online activist tool or go to www.dadsanddaughters.org/teenmags.htm to find sample letters, DADs' press release, and contact information for YM, Teen, Seventeen, Teen People and CosmoGIRL.

Celebrating Innovators

Last week in Washington, DC, the Eating Disorders Coalition for Research, Policy, and Action (EDC) presented its first Celebrating our Innovators" awards. (DADs is an EDC member.) The awards were presented to Dr. Ruth Striegel-Moore of Wesleyan University for research, NY Senator Hillary Clinton for policy, and Minnesota advocate Kitty Weston for action. Hosted by plus-size supermodel Kate Dillion, the event drew more than 150 donors to EDC's work. Learn more at www.eatingdisorderscoalition.org

A Tip or Two:\

"Express your love openly: tell your daughter that you love her frequently; discover how she experiences love the most and do that - notes, e-mails, her favorite cookies. Make the expression of love a daily habit. Then listen and watch carefully to make sure your love is getting through. If not, try something else." From 200 Ways to Raise a Girl's Self-Esteem by Will Glennon.

Growth in Women's Sports Spawns New Career Opportunities

With the ever increasing popularity of women's sports, related careers for women are on the rise. The Women In Sports Careers Foundation (WISC) is a national organization of professional women dedicated to helping girls prepare for a career in the women's sports industry. WISC provides a supportive networking environment to educate and motivate girls to follow their career dreams.
Source: www.wiscfoundation.org/mission/mission.htm

Study Sheds Light on Technophobic Girls

A recent study by the Girl Scouts of America finds answers to why girl's participation in math, science, and technology is lower than that of boys. "The Girl Difference: Short-Circuiting the Myth of the Technophobic Girl" finds that a lack of female role models and myths that technology achievement is more natural for men than for women are contributing factors to the gender imbalance in technological fields. The tide is turning however, and you can make a difference. See: www.girlscouts.org/about/ResearchInstitute/publications.html#girldifference

DADs Featured in Boston Globe

Dads and Daughters' mission and values were featured last week in the Boston Globe. Spotlighting the organization's recent victories, the article tells how DADs "…would like to see fathers take some responsibility for making the world a better place." Read the full article at www.boston.com/dailyglobe2/340/at_home/Dads_take_on_advertisers_who_insult_daughters+.shtml

Marketers Continue Promoting Violence to Children

Under pressure from Members of Congress, the Federal Trade Commission is tracking methods marketers use to promote violent films, games and music to children. The latest FTC report, released last week, indicates some improvement over the past year, but shows significant shortcomings, too. Read a summary at: www.ftc.gov/opa/2001/12/violence.htm

Adoption of Gender-neutral Language Making Headway

Six states have gender-neutral language in their constitutions; eight others are considering adopting it. Advocates say gender-neutral language is a subtle but important way to promote equality; critics call it an empty gesture. Read more at www.womensenews.org/article.cfm/dyn/aid/749/context/cover/

A Tip or Two: Demonstrate Respect for Her

Our job as caretakers is to help our daughters learn to make good choices, and to affirm our belief in their ability to make wise choices. We do that in part, by respecting as much as possible the choices they do make, and by demonstrating our deep respect for who they are as human beings. From 200 Ways to Raise a Girl's Self-Esteem by Will Glennon

Britney Spears Sends Mixed Media Messages

Are images of Britney Spears harmful to our culture? The Atlanta Journal Constitution examines how she is marketed and her effects on the culture's perception of girls. In the article DADs' Joe Kelly states "What does it tell men and boys to have Bob Dole sitting in that Pepsi commercial? That that's how we should view young women, as sources of titillation?" Read more at www.accessatlanta.com/ajc/epaper/editions/sunday/arts_c3215fc121bde1e7006a.html

Resources:

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