Menstuff® has compiled the following information on Kissing.
How I want to be
How to be a better kisser
13 Kinds Of Kisses That Will Leave Women Breathless
Does he need a kissing makeover?
Would You Kiss This Mouth?
13 Kinds Of Kisses That Will Leave Women
But, nearly all men think that kissing means she wants sex. It doesnt! Theres a time for just kissing, and, a time for kissing and sex. Dont mix the two up. Most women like to just kiss and kiss and kiss, so dont spoil it for her by grabbing her breasts. She will let you know, or you both will know just by the look in each others eyes when its time. Until then, hands off! Give her your trust so she knows that the both of you can kiss without the sex being involved. She may have had bad experiences with guys in the past who went too fast, too soon.
Also, on those first dates, dont French kiss her, opening the mouth and/or sticking your tongue in her mouth, unless she initiates it, since this is more sexual.
Men dive right into it. Show her that you are different by starting with simple kisses only. The following are tips to make you more appealing and to get her hormones going before you lend her your lips:
1. Always have fresh breath. Floss and brush your teeth at least twice a day. Brush your tongue because thats the main area you want to keep clean. Use A LOT of breath mints. Nothing can spoil the mood faster than bad breath!
2. Use a flavored lipgloss if you have chapped lips. Better yet, use it even if you dont have chapped lips. Shell love the taste. Dont use some bad-tasting Vaseline or anything she may not like. Now if you dont like her lipstick, dont be afraid to tell her so. Maybe she has a flavored brand you may enjoy.
3. Have a clean-shaven face. Most, not all, women prefer this. They like to kiss a face thats baby soft. Some women like stubble, but most dont.
4. Dont forget to wear one of the womens favorite colognes. Its much better when you smell great for her while you are kissing her.
Now you are ready for some kissing and gentle biting that she probably very rarely receives from a man. Just remember, just like making love to her, you have to be slow and passionate. That is one of the things most (NOT ALL) women think makes a man a good lover.
This is the kind of kiss you should start off with, whether its a first date or not. Start off by giving her that look. You know, the kind of look a person gives when they want to kiss you. Look kind of sexy towards her, looking at her lips and deep into her eyes. Give her a devilish, child-like smile. Move your face towards hers slowly, still looking at her lips and eyes. Look for any reaction from her while doing this. Does she want you to kiss her or is it a definite no? Move in closer until you are about two inches from her lips. Now stop for a brief moment and look into her eyes, and then at her lips. Then give her a light kiss on her lips. Move away a couple of inches, no more, and see how she reacts to this? Of course this is the best on those first dates.
Start off slowly by giving her small, little kisses at the corner of the mouth, and then switching to the other side of the corner, going back and forth, all the while moving closer to the center of her lips. Move slowly and passionately until you are at the center of her lips. Then run your fingertip across her lips and then pucker up and lay one on her, holding her face with both of your hands on the last kiss. The kiss on the center of her lips should last at least thirty seconds. Use your lips to tug on hers and slightly bite on her lips at the same time.
Two other variations to this is to hold the back of the head with just one hand, while using your other hand to hold her cheek. The second variation is to hold her head with both hands so you can massage and scratch her head gently, and to gently pull on her hair, while kissing her. Women love this last variation. Massaging, slow scratching, and especially gently pulling her hair as you are kissing her is something women dont get from men. Also, rub your cheek up against hers a few times, while still holding her other cheek or the back of her head. This is a must! Try it!
Without touching one another, stand face to face on a rug, and start rubbing your feet across the carpet. Then lean forward and kiss her. I read one lame book on this subject that stated you should do it in the dark, because that way you can see the spark. You cant see it because of the position your face is in. Pass on that not-thought-out idea.
This is a combination of French kissing and opening both of your mouths, pressing them together, and then closing them and puckering at the same time. Its sort of like closing your mouth around an ice-cream cone and then puckering your lips as you are completing the sucking of the ice cream. But, let her initiate it first, because she may not want to go that far.
Combination Bite And Kiss
Bite her neck, jawbone and ears, while kissing at the same time. Use your teeth to gently pinch her skin, breathing softly on her skin and ears at the same time, especially her ears. Biting can be very sensuous for her, so make sure you do a lot of this.
Start by using the tip of your index finger and slightly run it across her lips and cheeks. Then put your face a couple of inches from hers and just stare into her eyes, gazing around her hair and face for about 10 seconds. Talk with your eyes. Then slightly kiss her on the lips. Repeat the step. This time give her two small kisses. Then grab her face, cup it in your hands and lay a big one on her for about 30 seconds, without moving your lips. Just remain motionless.
Give her a kiss on her eye, and then slowly kiss the other. This will give her a warm feeling. Yet another kiss men dont do. So she will love this also.
Kiss like an Eskimo by kissing with a lot of small pecks all over her face, at the same time rubbing your nose up against hers, going side to side and up and down.
Kiss and slightly nibble her ears, breathing on them slightly at the same time. Use your tongue to trace around her ear. Suck on her ear lobes, because she especially loves that! Tell her that you love her ears. Make sure your breath hits her ear as you are saying this. As for the tongue in her ear...well, since most women dont like it, its best to stay away from doing that one.
This is where you use a combination of biting, kissing and licking all the way down her body to her toes. Have her just lay there, naked, with her eyes closed.
Tilt her head slightly to the side and cradle her face in one of your hands, while you hold the back of her head with the other.
The Rocking Kiss
As both you and your partners lips are still touching, rock your heads from side to side, letting your noses rub against each other. You rock your head to the left, as she rocks hers to the right, going from side to side.
This is a totally different kind of kiss because it confuses our brain. Our brain isnt use to the position our heads are in when kissing. Try it, and you will see what I mean. Its something totally new, and something she may not have experienced before.
According to some women, many of their past dates/boyfriends didnt know how to properly French kiss. Never mind the kissing. French kissing is not supposed to be sloppy, done fast or putting your whole tongue in her mouth. It should give that person a feeling of ecstasy and excitement. Women, over men love to French kiss, so be prepared to do it properly.
1. Start off by giving her all the other kinds of kisses just discussed before doing the French kiss. Dont jump right into it. Move slowly to it.
2. Gently slide your tongue across her upper lip. She should take the hint and open her mouth. Now gently slide just the tip of your tongue into her mouth. Just the tip of your tongue should pass beyond her teeth, and thats it! She should meet you halfway. From there you will begin this kiss.
3. Use your tongue to explore her mouth, as she does the same to you. Move your tongue along her teeth, wrestle with her tongue, twist yours around hers and gently suck on her tongue.
4. Dont let it be just about French kissing. Add a variety of different kinds of kisses also.
5. To give more pleasure, suck on a mouthful of candy mints before you start kissing her. Give her that taste to enhance the kissing. Mmmm, a candy flavored mouth! But, make sure she doesnt mind the taste of mint, or any candy you will be using. Know this beforehand.
6. And finally, a lot of women have commented on how guys tend to think that this kind of kissing means she is ready for sex. So, he starts to grope her and tries to undress her. You should never, never do this. This is where the communication breaks down. She wants to kiss for a while and he wants to...well, you know. Keep in mind that many women love to kiss and hug, and thats it. She may not even want to go that far.
Dont be afraid to talk a little while kissing her. Tell her
how good she tastes and how good she feels in your arms. If she
thinks you are funny, by all means joke around with her at the same
time. But dont joke too much! Brush her hair with your fingers,
trace her ear with your fingertips and run them lightly across her
cheeks every once in a while. Cup her face in your hands while you
are kissing her. Caress the back of her neck and stroke her arms and
hands... Touch her, touch her and touch her some more. This can never
be said enough! A kiss doesnt have to be perfect. Its all
on how you look into her eyes and how you use your hands.
How to be a better
Lean to the right
Lean to the right. I thought that was common knowledge, but Ive been with at least three girls who went left when we went in for a kiss. It was adorably awkward, I guess, but I wouldve much rather avoided the conspicuous bruise that showed up on my forehead. I had to explain that it wasnt a hickey, but a battle wound caused by make-out misdirection. To any woman who reads this, remember, go right.Sam, cameraman
Dont be afraid to take the lead. I was at a bar on New Years Eve and, when the ball dropped, some of my female friends and I exchanged quick smooches. Then I locked eyes with a cute friend of a friend, who Id never really met before. The mood took over, and we started to kiss. Next thing I knew, my back was against the bar and we were deeply making out. Her kissing style wasnt overly aggressive, just firm, confident, and sexy. She took charge, and I was powerless to resist. Steve, writer
Close your eyes
I had one girlfriend who, for some reason, always kept her eyes open when we kissed. Id get this strange feeling that I was being watched while we made out, only to open my eyes briefly to find her staring back at me. Not only was it disconcerting as hell, but it made me self-conscious. Was she picking apart my moves? Did I make some kind of funny face I wasnt aware of? Id be completely thrown for the rest of the night. Jon, editor
Get your hands in on the action
Run them through my hair, or, if you really want to get me going, stroke my neck. Yeah, its a bit effeminate of me, but it makes me feel as if shes enjoying it so much that she cant control herself. Just lip-to-lip contact is the missionary position of making out.Timothy, writer
Pause before you pucker
A well-timed pause can really add to a passionate kiss. I love it when a girl leans in but doesnt lock lips right away. Shell go right to the point where were about to close our eyes, and then smirk or giggle or do something that lets me know she wants to savor the moment. And so do I.Chris, certified financial planner
Chuck the gum
Is it really too much to ask that you not chew gum when we kiss? Its funny in the movies when a girl kisses a guy and he magically ends up with her gum in his mouth, but real life is a different story. Im all for a little tongue-on-tongue action but, please, ditch the Trident before we get there.Chandler, 34, club promoter
I went on a semi-blind date and the conversation was natural, we both laughed a lot, and I think we both knew the date was going to end with a first kiss. Unfortunately, her technique can best be described as lip painting. She literally painted my lips with her tongue, in a circular motion. I recoiled as politely as I could, and retreated to some pecks. Then I escaped in a cab and never called her back.John, radio host
Source: Matt Christensen has written for Maxim and
WWE Magazine. His first kiss sucked. At least, thats what the
girl told him. msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=8955&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6>1=10486
How I want to be kissed
Make sure shes willing
First off, does the date merit a kiss? Am I engaged in conversation with you? Am I smiling? If things seem like a go, a first kiss should be very soft. Please, no tongue! Just kiss my lips with yours. Nip at my bottom lipjust slightly tug it. Dont be like my last first date, who licked my teeth and got my hair caught in his college ring (come to think of itnever wear a college ring on a date).Alexis Derano, editorial assistant
I think hygiene is key. Before you attempt to kiss me ask yourself: Does your breath smell like pepperoni pizza? I dont care if we just dined in garlic heavena pack of gum or tin of Altoids cost around a buck. Both fit in your pocket. Puh-lease, have fresh breath. I keep Tic-Tacs on me at all times (hint, hint)! If we go back to your place to cuddle and watch a DVD, there is nothing sexier than a guy that excuses himself to the bathroom and emerges smelling like Crest. I once kissed a guy that tasted like tuna fish. We did not go on another date.Donna Tice, accessories buyer
Ration the love
A little goes a long way, boys! A little lip, a little tongue, a little caressing of my cheekbone. For starters, give me a quick, sexy sweep. Then retreatdo not shove your tongue into my mouth. What I want now are your lips. I want long, solid smooches. Next, pull away and hold the back of my head in your palm. Look into my eyes. Ill reciprocatetrust me.Kristina Katsulous, account executive
Sneak a peck
When just getting to know a guy, I like it when he goes in but doesnt make it to my lips and rather dots my cheek and lip with a long, sweet, I-know-I-like-you peck. Then he pulls away and I likely blush, which is a good sign. On our next formal date, I expect full lip-on-lip contact.Tina Jackson, student
Kiss me in the theater
Take me to the movies and kiss me (just sweet pecks) at really touching moments, like when the main guy and gal realize theyre meant to be or the puppy gets saved from a burning building. It shows me youre sensitive and totally tuned into my girly feelings. Ill kiss you when your team scores a basketpromise.Rachelle King, sales associate
Watch the hands
Do not take my hands and put them in inappropriate places on your body while we are sharing a kiss. If I like you, my hands will be caressing your brow or tucked under your collar. And I love it if your hands are resting on my hips, holding the back of my head, sweeping my cheek with a soft, open palm, or holding my hands (personal favorite). It ruins a kiss if you take your hands and go rushing to different places. If I like you well get there. Willow Roberts, photographer
Sweep her off her feetliterally
This is a little cheesy, but I love Hollywood kisses. Completely, over-the-top, theatrical kisses. Hold me, dip me, kiss me. It shows me you love to have fun (like me), and its so romantic. Hollywood kisses are also a great distraction from petty arguments, by the way.Laura Gowzen, personal trainer
Just do it!
My best advice is so simple: Go for it. If you get that urge, and I dont seem that into it, who cares? Maybe Im just zoned out for some reason, or maybe I am into you and you just arent picking up on my very subtle vibes. Ive been sneak-attacked a lot with a kiss, and nine times out of ten, it turns me on!Jaz Valte, publicist
Source: Christine M. Coppa has written for
Glamour, Boston Home & Garden, In Touch, etc. She has to stand on
her tip-toes to kiss her boyfriend
but isnt complaining.
Does he need a
Assuming this irritation is quickly discovered after lips are first locked, there's always the option of cutting your losses and moving on. However, if you've got a real catch with a lot of potential, there are a few simple maneuvers that will quickly turn your uvula snake into a lip-smackin' artiste. Might as well get used to sensitively asking for what you want and how you want it -- right off the bat. That's what sexual connecting is all about.
To begin with, no one sets out to be a bad kisser. So whatever you do, don't call him one. Despite the humorous slang in this column, I highly discourage using any of these names when face-to-face. A sarcastic approach, no matter how honest, would be a clear example of negative reinforcement not helping a situation. Your goal is not to be witty, but to be kissed.
Sometimes, the nonverbal approach is all it takes to make your partner aware of his one-track tongue. This has successfully worked for me a time or two. Simply imitate exactly what he is doing. If his tongue is sitting out front shielding access to his lips, your tongue should do the same. If he continually forces his tongue down your throat, by golly, you force yours down his. Sometimes this kind of quick communication has been all I needed for my partner to get it. It's even been something we could chuckle about after the fact. What I don't like about this approach is that it's a bit passive-aggressive, as if something would be wrong with just talking about it. This is not a sword fight, but affection. So if your partner doesn't get this approach right away, move on to a more fun, sexy and overt approach.
Here's what you do: Pause and empty your mouth. Put your lips right next to your partner's ear, and whisper with your sexy voice, "Can we try something? I want to show you how I like to kiss." In the book "Ask Me Anything," sex therapist Marty Klein writes, "Kiss him the way you want to be kissed. Show him how to move his tongue, how to use his teeth, how to have a relaxed jaw, and how to stroke your leg at the same time (might as well ask for everything)." A time or two I've suggested that "I'd like to focus on our lips for while," still using my soft voice.
Chances are the tongue-wagging is accompanied by lots of enthusiasm. This is a good thing, and you can work with it. Besides, being overwhelmed by passion can initially put our tongues on autopilot while other body parts are kicking into high gear. All this to say that your tongue-pusher is eager to please, and into you big time! This is a compliment, not a problem. So don't lip-gloss over it. Be sure your strategy uses his fervor rather than discourages it. He will probably be overly self-conscious about it simply because you've drawn attention to it. Therefore, don't forget to give lots of sexy feedback. "That feels great!" "Oh, yeah, more o' dat!" Your reactions should give him the arousing clues of "hot, hotter and flaming hottest," without actually saying these words. I have found when people are given the opportunity to try a variety of kissing styles, they often add what they discover to their repertoire.
Finally, never underestimate the sheer pleasure of mindful enjoyment. By this I mean kissing with panache, as if it's the last set of lips you'll ever come across. It's like what some of the most proficient sex workers have told me in regard to quality blow-job technique, "Enjoy his cock like it was the best one you ever had." This works just as well for kissing, too!
If your partner still interfaces using only the tongue, you could try something really covert, like leaving this column on your computer monitor for him to read. Otherwise, you can always put that tongue to a variety of uses. There are several other orifices that such an active tongue can be utilized with stimulating results!
Dr. Jallen Rix holds a doctorate of education in sexology from The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, as well as degrees in theology and creative arts. He maintains a private practice in San Francisco as well as personal phone consultations and sex coaching. He specializes in maximizing sexual pleasure for singles and couples, "ex-gay" recovery, religious abuse, and creative approaches to sex education. You can learn more about Dr. Rix at his website.
Do you have a question about sex you'd like Dr. Rix to answer? Or send an E-mail
This information is for educational purposes only and is not
intended to serve as medical advice. The information provided should
not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease.
It is not a substitute for professional care. If you have or suspect
you may have a health problem, you should consult your health care
Source: Dr. Jallen Rix, www.gay.com/news/roundups/package.html?sernum=5734&navpath=/channels/health/sexuality
A one-minute kiss burns 26 calories. - Snapple "Real Fact" # 102