The Menstuff® library lists pertinent books on Domestic Violence. Caution: Many books written on domestic violence and many definitions of domestic violence demonstrate only one possible situation - male as perpetrator, female as victim. Be prepared to switch the words her for him and him for her and you will find some helpful information. See our section in issues on Violence - Domestic for more realistic help for male victims and female batterers and Resources. See also books on Abuse - Boys, Abuse - Children, Abuse - Ritual, Abuse - Sexual, Circumcision, Anger, Violence, Sexual Violence, Sexual Harassment, and Womens' Violence, and our Issues section on Abuse - Ritual, Abuse - Sexual, Circumcision, Violence, Sexual Harassment, Womens' Violence and Prisons.
AMA, Diagnostic & Treatment Guidelines on Mental
Health Effects of Family Violence, 1995
AMA, Diagnostic & Treatment Guidelines of Domestic
Violence, 1994
AMA, Domestic Violence: A directory of protocols for
Health Care Providers, Children's Safety Network, 1993
Family Violence & Religion: An interfaith
resource guide, Volcano, 1995
Beck, Aaron, Prisoners of Hate: The
cognitive basis of anger, hostility and violence. This
world-renowned psychiatrist and author has always been at the
forefront of cognitive therapy research. His approach being the
most rapidly growing psychotherapy today. Now, in his most
important work to date, the Father of Cognitive Therapy presents a
revolutionary look at destructive behavior - from domestic abuse
to genocide to war - and provides a solid framework for remedying
these crucial problems. In this book, the author: illustrates the
specific psychological aberrations underlying anger, interpersonal
hostility, ethnic conflict, genocide and war; clarifies why
perpetrators of evil deeds are motivated by a belief that they are
doing good; explains how the offenders are locked into distorted
belief systems that control their behavior and shows how the same
distortions in thinking occur in a rampaging mob as in an enraged
spouse; provides a blueprint for correcting warped thinking and
belief systems and, consequently, undercutting various forms of
hostility; and discusses how the individual and society as a whole
might use the tools of psychotherapy to block the psychological
pathways to war, genocide, rape and murder. HarperCollins, 1999
ISBN 0-06-019377-8 Buy
this book!
Berry, Dawn Bradley,
The Domestic Violence Sourcebook: Everything you ("women" - ed)
need to know. This is a very informative book. However, be
careful because it is filled with bias. It makes the assumption
that battering, family violence and domestic abuse is only a male
to female action so it does a great disservice to those women who
are perpetrators and those men who are the victims of their
violence and abuse. Physical violence was defined as "slapping,
hitting, kicking, burning, punching, choking, shoving, beating,
throwing things, locking out, restraining and other acts designed
to injure, hurt, endanger or cause physical pain." Women do this
to men all the time, on television, in high school, in homes, yet
no one does anything about it. Emotional Abuse was defined as
"consistently doing or sayings things to shame, insult, ridicule,
embarrass, demean, belittle or mentally hurt another person. This
may include calling a person names such as fat, lazy, stupid,
ugly, failure; telling someone "she" can't do anything right, is
worthless, is an unfit "mother", is undeserving, is unwanted. It
also involves withholding money, affection or attention...
manipulation... threatening to abandon; threatening to take
children away...ridiculing "her" most valued beliefs, religion,
race, heritage, or class; insulting "her" family or friends." It
even quotes EMERGE, a Boston counseling program for abusive men,
who also can only see men as an abuser in ANY of these situations.
Their definition of domestic violence is, "...any act that causes
the victim to do something "she" does not want to do, prevents
"her" from doing something "she" does want to do, or causes "her"
to be afraid." As far as I can tell, there isn't one situation
which describes a woman as the demeanor, humiliator, or one that
makes a man feel uncomfortable, or insulted. For that, it is a
very obsolete tomb. Under "Alternatives to Violence" resources, we
show over 35 services that have active programs for "women
perpetrators". Maybe they know something that the author and
Lenore Walter don't know, or don't want you to know. Lowell House,
1996
Brinegar, Jerry, Breaking Free from Domestic Violence,
Hazelden CompCare, 1992
Brothers, Barbara Jo, The Abuse of
Men: Trauma begets trauma. This courageous book exposes a
dark secret: Men are often victims of abuse. Although a great
deal of attention has been paid to the victimization of women over
the last 30 years, the role of men as victims - not just
perpetrators - has been neglected. And, the fact is, when men are
abused, everybody suffers. This book reveals the impact of
physical, sexual and emotional trauma on the lives and
relationships of men. This groundbreaking book shows how the
negative effects of both basic training and combat may also cause
lasting damage to men's self-esteem, ability to trust, personal
boundaries, and ability to form healthy relationships. It explores
the prevalence of other kinds of violence and abuse toward men and
boys, from child-battering (of which women are the primary
perpetrators) to spousal abuse. It discusses how the culture
of violence and societal expectations of boys and men can help
drive victims of abuse toward continuing the cycle of violence. It
also offers specific suggestoins for therapists working with
abused men and their partners, including an innovative
step-by-step program for treating couples who have both been
traumatized. By understanding how men and boys become victims and
respond to trauma, you can help heal their pain and teach them to
build positive, loving relationships. The Haworth Press, www.haworthpressinc.com
2001 ISBN 0-7890-1379-7 Buy
This Book!
Cassiday-Shaw, Aimme K., Family Abuse and the Bible: The
scriptural perspective. This book offers new hope to
conservative Christian women in abusive relationships. It shows
that abuse is not the will of God and that submission to violence
is actually giving in to demonic forces. The tools in this book
can ultimately free Christian women from the horror of an abuse
they may feel is ordained by God, while leaving them with an
intact source of strength in their faith. The Haworth Pastoral
Press, 2002, ISBN 0-7890-1577-3 Buy
This Book!
Cook, Philip, Abused Men: The hidden
side of domestic violence. When most people think of domestic
violence, images of battered women or abused children come to
mind. But there is another side of this issue that is not as
familiar - abused men. This unique book in the first to
comprehensively examine this important but neglected social issue.
The author directly challenges common assumptions about how men
and women behave in society. Already praised by a diverse spectrum
of readers-from "Dear Abby's" Abigail Van Buren, to the nation's
leading domestic violence researcher, to those in law enforcement
and counseling-this is sure to spark controversy and discussion.
It offers gripping, emotional stories, self-help for victims,
provocative insight into public issues, and presents a practical
approach for reducing domestic violence. While statistics show
that 1.8 million American women are severely assaulted by their
mats each year, few people know that the same source indicates
that 2 million men are also assaulted at home. After laying the
groundwork for a serious reconsideration of how society views
domestic violence, the author allows a number of abused men to
tell their astonishing stories. He then puts these experiences in
the context of what therapists and others who have worked with
such men know about domestic violence and how the male victim is
similar to, yet different from, his female counterpart. After
examining the reasons why so little is known about male abuse and
the difficulties researchers encounter, the author shows how the
abused man, his friends and family, and the abusive or abused
woman can come to grips with domestic violence. Drawing from a
variety of sources, he brings these diverse elements together and
proposes practical solutions for reducing domestic violence,
whether its victims are male or female. Praeger Publishers 1997
ISBN 0-275-95862-0 Buy
This Book!
Corsi, Jorge, Daniel Jay Sonkin
& Michael Durphy, Aprender a vivir sin violencia
(Learning to Live Without Violence) Manual para hombres.
Domestic violence has many faces within an intimate relationship,
and many effects on both men and women. If you choose to prevent
or end violence, this book provides you with tools and exercises
that you can use on your own, or with counseling help. We know
that men can and do change their behavior. If you are considerng
such a chance, we encourage you to take the first step today. The
path may not be easy, but in this book you will find the
techniques that have helped many men to learn to live without
violence. You aren't a natural "hothead". You learned that
behavior and you can unlearn it. And, do it before you do anything
more that you will regret the rest of your life. (English
version) Volcano Press, www.volcanopress.com
1997 ISBN 1-884244-07-6 Buy
This Book!
Crawford, Christina, No Safe Place: The legacy of
family violence, Station Hill Press, 1994
Creighton, Allan, Helping Teens Stop Violence: A
practical guide for counselors, educators & parents,
Hunter House, 1992
Denfeld, Rene, Kill the Body, The Head
will Fall: A closer look at women, violence and
aggression, Rene Denfeld. This is a society that condemns
aggression in women...The result is that aggression is still
viewed as "naturally" male. And female aggression is, by default,
considered unnatural and uncommon. The reality is
this: women can be just as aggressive as men. Is it
true that women are biologically programmed to be less aggressive,
less prone to violence than men? Is it the lack of
training and physical opportunities that keep women from being as
"tough" as men? Are women by nature more gentle and
law-abiding? Well, the author provides answers drawing
on her perspective as a female in the nearly all-male boxing
world, and overturns our culture's assumptions
about: anger...why women feel guilty and out of control when
enraged, and how the denial of women's anger can have devastating
consequences, especially for children. Competition...how women's
healthy competitive urges are repressed, keeping them at a
disadvantage. Sex...what connects sex and violence and shapes
women's sexual desires. Power...how recognizing women's aggression
can help bring about their equality. Insisting on facts and
eschewing cultural bias, she asserts that women's violence and
aggression are not held in check by biology. They are waiting to
be encouraged and used to create strong, active women who are
serious contenders - in the boxing ring and in life. Warner Books,
http://pathfinder.com/twep
1997 Buy
This Book!
Deschner, Jeanne, How to End the Hitting
Habit: Anger control for battering couples, Free
Press, 1984
Dutton, Donald, Batterer: A psychological
profile, Basic, 1995
Enns, Greg & Jan Black, It's Not
Okay Anymore: Your personal guide to ending abuse,
taking charge, and loving yourself, Greg Enns & Jan
Black. (This book does a pretty good job of staying balanced and
seldom makes a reference that points to either sex as an abuser or
victim, though they slip-up from time to time. - Ed.) This
practical and empowering guide offers a step-by-step path out of
abuse and into life management and self-care. Written with
sensitivity and respect, it contains checkpoints and action steps,
survivors' stories, success tips, "Get Safe" plans and goals, and
the gentle support of a nurturing personal coach. New Harbinger
1997
Ewing, Wayne, Battering: An amend manual for helpers,
Amend, 1994
Gelles, Richard, Intimate Violence: The definitive study
of the causes & consequences of abuse in the American
family, Simon & Schuster, 1988
Gillespie, Cynthia, Justifiable Homicide: Battered
women, self-defense & the law. The author offers a
compelling view about women who respond violently to abuse and
about the criminal justice system, which follows such acts with
its own form of abuse...Her thesis, that the law of self-defense
is a law for men and therefore constitutes sex discrimination, is
cleraly, coherently and substantively articulated. This is an
imporant, intelligent and challenging contribution in the area of
women's studies, women's rights, and the criminal justice system
with respect to the law of self-defense. Ohio State Univ Press,
1989 ISBN 0-8142-0521-6
Gondolf, Edward, Man Against Women: What every women
should know about violent men, TAB, 1989
Gondolf, Edward, Man to Man: A guide for men in abusive
relationships, Human Services Institute, 1987
Gordon, Linda, Heroes of Their Own Lives: The politics
& history of family violence, Viking, 1988
Horsfall, Jan, Presence of the Past: Male violence
in the family, Allen & Unwin, 1991
Jukes, Adam, Why Men Hate Women: A book written for men
that every woman should read. What makes a man like John, in
every respect a cultured and charming man, successful in his
career and liked by his friends and acquaintances, behave
violently towards a woman he says he loves? Is he
sick? Is he different from other men? Is it, as he says,
Jen's fault? Doews she like being beaten? Otherwise why would
she go on doing what she knows upsets him? The author
hopes that by the end of his demanding but gripping book, the
reader will be able to answer these questions. He works with men
who are abusive and violent to women. In the last five years, he
has been involved in the London Men's Centre, which offers
dedicated programmes to men who are violent. He began working with
abusive men as a psychodynamic psychotherapist, but as his work
continued he found that the work of feminists in the refuge
movement and in the "speaking bitterness" literature could not be
ignored. He integrates these two perspectives in his work. The way
in which he presents men in this book will generate distress for
those men who experience their masculinity as a burden - for he
argues that misogyny, the hatred of women, is an inescapable
element in the development of masculinity. But he also shows how
the model of misogyny which informs the book is applied to an
intervenion programme to stop male abusiveness. This is a shocking
book. Its thought-provoking view of the issues will be of great
interest to mental health professionals and all concerned readers.
Free Assocaition Books, 1993 ISBN 1-85343-195-8 Buy
This Book!
Kilgore, Nancy, Every Eighteen
Seconds: A journey through domestic violence,
Volcano, 1993
Kilgore, Nancy, Sourcebook for Working with Battered
Women: A comprehensive manual for counselors, social workers
& support group leaders, Volcano, 1993
Kivel, Paul, Anger, Power, Violence
& Drugs: Breaking the connection, taking a
stand against violence, the men's work workbook # 2, Hazelden,
1993
Kivel, Paul, Becoming Whole: Learning new roles
making new choices. Taking a stand against violence. Men's Work
Workbook # 3, Hazelden, 1993
Kivel, Paul, Men's Work: How to stop the violence
that tears our lives apart. In this groundbreaking work, the
author gets to the very heart of the (men's) violent behavior that
wracks our society. A nationally known expert on men's issues,
Kivel shows men - and women - how to confront the harsh realities
behind (men's) aggression and how to respond in new, productive
ways to the political, social and personal forces that can lead to
(men's) misogny, hatred, anger and violence. This book offers
practical advice that will help men (perpetrators not victims)
reclaim the power and responsibility needed to unlearn the lessons
of control and aggression. Hazelden, www.hazelden.org
1992 ISBN 1-56838-233-2 Buy
This Book!
Kivel, Paul, Men's Work Facilitator's Guide: A
complete counseling plan for breaking the cycle of male
violence, Harper/Hazelden, 1993
Lee, Patricia, Legal Rights of Battered Women in
California, State Bar of California, 1980
Lobel, Kerry, Naming the Violence: Speaking out about
lesbian battering, Seal, 1986
Manalive, I Stop My Physical Violence to my
Partner: Individual advocacy 1st stage class,
Manalive, 1990
Martin, Del, Battered Wives, Glide, 1986
Ni Carthy, Ginny, Getting Free: You can end abuse
& take back your life, Seal, 1986
Ni Cathy, Ginny, Ones Who Got Away: Women who left
abusive partners, Seal, 1987
Ni Cathy, Ginny, You Can Be Free: An easy-to-read
handbook for abused women, Seal, 1987
Okun, Lewis, Woman Abuse: Facts replacing myths,
New York Press, 1986
Paymar, Michael, Violent No More: Helping men end
domestic abuse, Hunter House, 1993
Pearson, Patricia, When she Was
Bad: How and why women get away with murder. In
this groundbreaking book, (the paperback version of "When She
Was Bad: Violent women and the myth of innocence,) the author
examines a subject that is often deliberately ignored,
particularly by the feminist front: the issue of women's violence
and aggression. Not merely as a response to an abusive husband,
society, culture or parent, but on their own, requiring no more
provocation that their male counterparts. Guiding us gently
through the rough waters of women's anger, the book starts off
with an examination of violence in girls and ends with an overview
of the social structure of women's prisons. The author demands
that women hold themselves accountable for their own actions; she
makes women see women as fully equal to male murderers and
rapists; as cold-blooded as anyone who would perform multiple
murders for profit. The sexist court system likes to ascribe
women's acts of violence to being coerced, seduced, cornered. It
sees women as victims or "survivors" that new catch phrase of the
therapy-and-twelves-step generation). Sometimes this is true - but
often it is not. Frequently women discover violence as an answer
all on their own, the way men do, because of the way our culture
is set up, the way our brains are wired, or the lessons women
learned at our parents' knees. The stories presented here are
graphic and disturbing, and a far cry from the
women's-violence-is-sexy voyeurism of cat fights and mud
wrestling. We meet female sex offenders, women who kill their own
children, and women with Munchausen syndrome who caused their
children repetitive illnesses and sometimes death. Pearson helps
to open the doors and allows women the space to examine a side of
themselves no one wants to acknowledge, but that, if left
unobserved will, like a cancer, continue to spread. (Click
here
and look for centers coded 89 - resources for women perpetrators.)
Penguin USA Paperback, 1998 Buy
This Book!
Porterfield, Kay Marie, What's a Nice Girl Like You doing in a
Relationship Like This: Women in abusive
relationships, Crossing Press, 1992
Richmond, Steven S., Terms of
Enforcement: Making men pay for what they've done. America's
campaign against facts and evidence in the name of justice. As
a psychotherapist and policy expert in domestic violence, the
author never expected to find himself on the "wrong side" of the
domestic abuse law. But, neither did he expect his wife of thirty
years to put that law to malicious use in the course of their
divorce, and then to find he had no legal remedy to answer her
false abuse accusations. Nevertheless, after violating a
restraining order, he faced experiences that gave him unique
insights into the problems of domestic abuse laws, as well as
motivation to report these discoveries to the reading public. In
addition to giving falsely accused men the hope that their
experiences might one day be validated, it is also the author's
hope that this book will be a voice the national converation about
domestic violence prevention and intervention. It is important
that reforms be sensible and that they protect both the abused and
the falsely accused. Trafford Publishing, www.trafford.com,
2002, ISBN 155369183-0 Buy
This Book!
Salber, Patricia, The Physicians Guide to Domestic
Violence: How to ask the right questions &
recognize abuse, another way to save a life, Volcano,
1995
Schechter, Susan, Women & Male
Violence: The visions & struggles of the battered
women's movement, South End, 1982
Sonkin, Daniel Jay & Michael Durphy,
Learning to Live Without Violence: A handbook for men.
Domestic violence has many faces within an intimate relationship,
and many effects on both men and women. If you choose to prevent
or end violence, this book provides you with tools and exercises
that you can use on your own, or with counseling help. We know
that men can and do change their behavior. If you are considerng
such a chance, we encourage you to take the first step today. The
path may not be easy, but in this book you will find the
techniques that have helped many men to learn to live without
violence. You aren't a natural "hothead". You learned that
behavior and you can unlearn it. And, do it before you do anything
more that you will regret the rest of your life. (Spanish
version) Volcano Press, www.volcanopress.com
1989 ISBN 0-912078-84-7 Buy
This Book!
Steinmetz, Suzanne, Behind Closed
Doors: Violence in the American family, Anchor,
1980
Steinmetz, Suzanne, Violence in the
Family, Harper & Row, 1974
Strean, Herbert, Our Wish to Kill: The murder in all
our hearts, St. Martins, 1991
Thorne-Finch, Ron, Ending the Silence: The origins
& treatment of male violence against women, Univ of
Toronto, 1992
Walker, Lenore, The Battered Woman,
Harper Colophon, 1979
Woodard,
Cheryl Anne, Domestic Violence and Abuse: How to
stop it! California edition. No more
abuse! Learn the signs of escalating abuse...and steps
you can take to get abuse out of your life. Are you being
bothered? or threatened? or beaten? Find out what you can do to
stop it! A complete kit includes the forms and
instructions you need to get a restraining order. Practical
step-by-step advice that will help you put an end to harassment,
abuse and violence. (Editors Note: Know that
this book is HEAVILY bias against men (assuming they are the
abusers) and creating the world of women and children as the only
victims. If you can replace the word her with him, and him with
her in almost every paragraph, some of the information can be
helpful. Hopefully, what is viewed as political incorrectness of
helping 1/3 of batterers who are women and 1/2 of victums who are
men is still strongly discouraged. When more balanced information
is available to more accurately depict domestic violence as it is
in 1999, we will put it at the top of the list. See our section -
domestic
violence - for more up-to-date information for male victims
and female batterers.) Nolo Press, 1996
Yllo, Kersti, Feminist Perspectives of Wife Abuse, Sage,
1988
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